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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

just broke up

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

 i need to rrant like no other.

my mil is a total nutcase. i cant stand her. she is drunk all the time. asks for money all the time for beer. we dont have a lot of money and what we do we should be spending on our kid and not beer for your alcoholic mother.

we could be doing something important and she calls just to go get beer me and my child becomes not important. this is his kid and yet he acts like his mom is more important.

i told him today finally that i cant stand his mom and i dont want to have to deal with her being disrepectful to me for the rest of my life.

i try and avoid seeing her as much as possible. she will make snide remarks to me, say beyond disrepectful things to me, and will tell me on how i am doing such a poor job raising my child and how i should do better. i am a stay at home mom and when my fiance gets home i take care of him. i do all the laundry, most of the cooking, and all the cleaning plus taking care of my child 24/7 and yet and im still shit in her eyes.

i want a relationship with the guy i am in love with and not his mom. she doesnt need to be in the picture on how i raise my child. i am a great mom. she wanted to wake my 3 month old daughter up who had finally fallen asleep 5 minutes earlier just so she can see the beach. what 3 month old is going to give a rats ass about the beach. i dont want to deal with a cranky baby, plus also there is no need to wake her. when i said no she gave me a dirty ass look and said "oh well she needs to". if i remember i carried her for 9 months and been taking care of her for 3 months with no help from you and not a whole lot from your son. (i didnt say any of that but i was close too...well that and close to punching her because she has been doing everything to get me and my fiance to break up since we got togther and also when we were pregnant and also recently). i just want her out of my life.

she is a drunk, and a bad drugee and i dont need soemone like that around my daughter, especially when you are bad mouthing me infront of my daughter.

well i told him i cant stand her and i dont want to deal with her like that for the rest of my life, how i love him and want to be with him forever.  would think he would tell her to shut up or start being nice or acting nice to me....nope. told me if i cant deal with her he cant deal with me.

he left crying saying for me to get a hold of him when i have made up my mind of what i want. i know what i want and you dont want to tell your mom that your daughter comes first. tell her to not be drunk around our daughter. anything.

well his mom posted this Some say holding on is what makes you strong... But sometimes it takes much more strength to just let go.. And move on!

and this Another blow from another family member....I see the "jumper" jean is somehow genetic.....

he said the only one who won was me since now im a single mom but it sounds like his mom is happy about it.

i was even wanting to go to counseling for me and my fiance since we do have problems but his mom is wearing me down and making me feel even shittier about myself and our relationship. but instead of going his mom calls and says she would be 10 minutes to get something on the computer (copy and paste and then print something) at the library but instead it took 2 hours. she didnt want him to leave so we couldnt of dropped her off and go to counseling (they are all within like 5 miles so there wouldnt of been a lot of driving). i just dont get why my fiance still has to be on his mother apron strings. he was old enough to have a kid so he should make sure everything for our daughter comes first. she is the first thing in my life. i dont go places ever, never see my friends and i gave it up to raise my child and yet he cant be grown up enough to tell his mom i cant do it right now or even i will drop you off and pick you up when you call because i have things i need to do for my family.

he doesnt even refer to us as his family. i asked him who is his family and he said his mom and siblings.

 

sorry for the longness. i just needed to get it all off my chest. it helped but i am still in pain and hurting from this

Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 31, 2012 at 11:03 PM
Replies (11-20):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Jul. 31, 2012 at 11:33 PM

I agree with everything you said, except this. I know lots of good guys who have stepped up to take care of their families. OP, hold out for a good one. You need someone who will take care of you and your daughter, and someone like that is out there, somewhere. Good for you for standing your ground. DF needs to grow up and take responsibility!

Quoting Eli_Mama_11:

 N it's sad to say most never do.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jul. 31, 2012 at 11:37 PM

Absolutely not.  You have no business playing house with his mommy.  He needs to grow a pair and act like a man.  He can provide a home for you and your daughter to live in or he can visit the one that you create on your own.  This isn't playing house.  This is real life, and there is a child involved who deserves a chance.  If he can't move on, then you have to move on without him.

Quoting Anonymous:

 

Quoting Anonymous:

That is a mess.  I would not tolerate that for a moment from my husband.  My mother-in-law's words and actions are completely indefensible 99% of the time.  I made it perfectly clear to my husband that he will support me (and everyone else in the family who she bitches at and screws over) or head right on back to her house (1500 miles away- thank goodness!).  I will not tolerate a man who doesn't know how to make his own family instead of holding his mommy's hand forever.

 he wants to have us all move in together. i said no quickly and he got all defensive. i dont want your mom around telling me how to run my own house. plus she will spend all of her money within 3 days of getting it on beer and drugs. i dont even want to be in the same city as her.


Eli_Mama_11
by on Jul. 31, 2012 at 11:39 PM
Quoting Anonymous:




I never said all never grow up I said most.....I know there r great hardworking independent dudes.....I guess I'm just speaking from my generation, most of boys I went hs w/ r still wit mommy
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 31, 2012 at 11:40 PM

 

Quoting Anonymous:

what are you talking about?! of COURSE a 5 month old NEEDS to see the beach! what kinda mother ARE you?!

lol jk jk

i agree with you. if BF cant stand up against his mom, when it comes to THIS family, then something would need to change. i dont even have a kid with him, and he stands up for me and my son when it needs to be.. which thankfully, she's not the type to be like that (i actually adore the crap outta her! hehe)

 i liked her until i found out she was telling her son to break up with me the whole time we were together. and i was still nice to her and never said anything bad to her. i still havent. i havent even told my fiance about how much i dont like her until today. her son will actually tell her everything that is happening in our relationship and then she will say shit about me and when she sees me she will make remarks about it but make it sound like a joke and so they will laugh and once we are alone she will be even more disrespectful

Threescoops
by on Jul. 31, 2012 at 11:40 PM
I had a very similar situation with my dh and his mom at one time. Not the alcohol, just very over bearing! Dh always went to her when she called for minor stuff, even after I had surgery and was not suppose to be alone for 24 hours. We separated for a few Weeks, but decided to get counseling together. The counselor had us read Boundaries for marriage. I know he didn't read all of it, but the change in our marriage and his relationship with his mom was a miracle. We rarely have arguments now. Tomorrow is our 14 year anniv. And this was 10 years ago. His mom and I developed a good relationship after awhile too. she passed from brain cancer a few years ago and I miss her as much as I miss my dad, who has been gone 7 years. If it's worth keeping, fight for it. First you have to stop asking him to choose you over her. It can't be that way. It's his mom. Don't get me wrong, he needs to put you and dd first more often than not. But you can't put it as a "it's her or us" that just creates a wall that divides you and he won't hear anything about your needs after that. Good luck and get the book. Maybe you can get him to read some of it?


Quoting Anonymous:

 


Quoting Anonymous:

Sweetie, buy "Boundaries" by Cloud and Townsend and start LIVING the life you want!

This crap is unhealthy!

Here's a hug. Seriously, read the book

 i will get that book. i want a life that is not hectic and one that will actually let my daughter grow up in a healthy place (with a dad being around everyday or not).


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Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Jul. 31, 2012 at 11:42 PM


Quoting Eli_Mama_11:

Quoting Anonymous:




I never said all never grow up I said most.....I know there r great hardworking independent dudes.....I guess I'm just speaking from my generation, most of boys I went hs w/ r still wit mommy

Ha, well I know some like that, too, from HS. But I guess once I moved away and got married, I kind of forgot about them, kwim? I don't keep in contact with a lot of people from my hometown. Guys like that make me kind of sick. You have a kid, you take care of him/her. End of story.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 31, 2012 at 11:43 PM

 

Quoting Anonymous:

Absolutely not.  You have no business playing house with his mommy.  He needs to grow a pair and act like a man.  He can provide a home for you and your daughter to live in or he can visit the one that you create on your own.  This isn't playing house.  This is real life, and there is a child involved who deserves a chance.  If he can't move on, then you have to move on without him.

Quoting Anonymous:

 

Quoting Anonymous:

That is a mess.  I would not tolerate that for a moment from my husband.  My mother-in-law's words and actions are completely indefensible 99% of the time.  I made it perfectly clear to my husband that he will support me (and everyone else in the family who she bitches at and screws over) or head right on back to her house (1500 miles away- thank goodness!).  I will not tolerate a man who doesn't know how to make his own family instead of holding his mommy's hand forever.

 he wants to have us all move in together. i said no quickly and he got all defensive. i dont want your mom around telling me how to run my own house. plus she will spend all of her money within 3 days of getting it on beer and drugs. i dont even want to be in the same city as her.

 

 and i plan on giving my daughter the best and i dont think she needs someone like his mom in my daughters picture really. act civilized and be sober and you can see her but dont disrepect me infront of my own kid

Eli_Mama_11
by on Jul. 31, 2012 at 11:46 PM
Quoting Anonymous:




Exactly!! Too bad I still live in my home town and see them like everywhere -_-
HouseMa
by on Jul. 31, 2012 at 11:49 PM

You do not want to marry this guy.  I'm sorry that it hurts right now, but you are better off without him.

Also, would you please tell her that the jean she used means pants...what she wanted was gene.

Cheryl_M
by on Jul. 31, 2012 at 11:59 PM

If he very obviously puts his mother before you, he's got major problems AND he's just enabling her to continue behaving the way she does.

You need to break it off hun. For you and the baby.

((HUGS))

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