Someone told me that this makes me "crazy."

[Anonymous]

I told her that I will never divorce my husband unless he does a complete 180 and becomes abusive to me or to our son.
She asked "what if he cheats?"
I explained that we firmly believe that marriage is for life except in certain specific circumstances (i.e. abuse), and that even if our romantic relationship were to end, our marriage wouldn't.
She asked what I meant by having a marriage without a romantic relationship, and I explained that one of us would move into our spare bedroom, we would continue to live together and parent together even if we were not romantically involved with each other any more. And yes, that includes sharing finances and expenses, eating meals together, etc.
Her response? "You're f*cking crazy. No one would ever do that."

Am I really the only one who does NOT see divorce as an option? I don't knock anyone who has been divorced, but it's just not something that will happen in our family.

[Anonymous - Original Poster]

It always makes me feel good to hear from other moms who are this confident in their marriage!
It's amazing how many people will try to bring you down when you say something like "neither of us will cheat." Like there's never been a marriage between two faithful people in the history of the planet. Lol

Quoting Alliemad_3:

Divorce isn't an option in this house either. He isn't abusive and neither of us would cheat. Anything else is small stuff that can and will be worked through.

[southern.momof2]

um..no

[Anonymous - Original Poster]

That's what kills me. I wouldn't have gotten married if I wasn't ready to make all the committments, including staying together until parted by death and forsaking all others. Don't know if you can hold to a vow? Don't make it! Lol

Quoting hollydaze1974:

no, you aren't alone...divorce isn't an option for us either, even if we are in counseling for fifteen -twenty years. The vows mean something.

[Crazy-Steph]

I am confident in my marriage, my husband and I myself.  But I am not so naive as to believe that if the unthinkable did happen that we could live in the familial home together and carry on as roommates.

People think they are doing the right thing by staying together for the kids, but in essence, they are are actually causing more harm to their children.  Not only in the present, but also for their children's future.  And my children's well being means more to me than my own.

Quoting Anonymous:

It always makes me feel good to hear from other moms who are this confident in their marriage!
It's amazing how many people will try to bring you down when you say something like "neither of us will cheat." Like there's never been a marriage between two faithful people in the history of the planet. Lol

Quoting Alliemad_3:

Divorce isn't an option in this house either. He isn't abusive and neither of us would cheat. Anything else is small stuff that can and will be worked through.

[Anonymous - Original Poster]

It really isn't about what our friends and family think. Heck, we have friends and family who are divorced and wouldn't think a thing of it. It's about the fact that we have committed our lives to each other and made vows before God. Gotta hold up our end of the bargain.
We believe, for our family, that it would be better for our son to grow up seeing a father that provides for his family and is committed to his wife and child versus parents who separate for their own happiness.

Quoting Metteba:

Well, I guess I have to respect that you dont want to come across as a failure to your friends and family. You do what you gotta do...but think of the poor kid(s)...they will learn to love and be loved just like the parents. But have at it...oh wait a minute...what if your man finds a woman and wants to marry her?

[Maks1mommy]

I couldn't live that way, but I would try to make it work as long as there was still love.

[Mistoshia]

That sounds just like my in-laws marriage

[catrig]

I honestly think that nuts.  That's my opinion, you are entitled to do what you want with your life.

[Anonymous - Original Poster]

I think our opinions differ as to what's best for a child's wellbeing;
We want to show our son that romance isn't the only part of love, and that if you make a committment, you stick to it.
Just because a couple isn't lovey-dovey or openly affectionate, doesn't mean there isn't love there.

Quoting Crazy-Steph:

I am confident in my marriage, my husband and I myself.  But I am not so naive as to believe that if the unthinkable did happen that we could live in the familial home together and carry on as roommates.

People think they are doing the right thing by staying together for the kids, but in essence, they are are actually causing more harm to their children.  Not only in the present, but also for their children's future.  And my children's well being means more to me than my own.

Quoting Anonymous:

It always makes me feel good to hear from other moms who are this confident in their marriage!

It's amazing how many people will try to bring you down when you say something like "neither of us will cheat." Like there's never been a marriage between two faithful people in the history of the planet. Lol

Quoting Alliemad_3:

Divorce isn't an option in this house either. He isn't abusive and neither of us would cheat. Anything else is small stuff that can and will be worked through.

[mama_2_jasper]

The only thing that would make me file for divorce is cheating. I respect myself more than to be treated like that.