My 6yrold accepted christ but I won't allow her to be baptised
My daughter accepted christ in VBS about a month ago, of course this is the child that doesn't make a big deal over anything (including a broken finger) so I didn't know until two days ago. I work nights but our pastor came by the house while I was asleep and talked to my DH (her stepfather) of course I was a little shocked to just be finding out about this but it didn't shock me that it came from this child. Right now we are in a battle with our church. We have had a new pastor for the last year and half and starting last December I have refused to let the girls go on a regular basis instead I have them go with their dad to a different church. I stopped going regularly about the same time. Our pastor is extreme and I don't agree with his views. This became a big rift in my marriage even causing a huge fight on Easter with my DH because I refused to go to church just because it was a holiday, and I wanted to spend the day reading the bible to myself like I have been. In the last two months DH has seen what I have seen for the last year with the extreme views and he has started looking into other churches and has stepped down as the bass player for our praise band. He has been attending that church for the last 10 years so it is really hard for him because it is a family for him and his boys when I have only attended for 3years and most of the people I don't get along with. When me and the girls father first expected our eldest religon came up. I was born into a deep catholic family, and then my mom converted to LDS. A few year of LDS my mom moved on to an extreme version and we bounced around from there. In thoes years I learned about many religons, and I discovered my own religous path. My mom supported me in my decsion and never pushed me one way or another. My ex's family is all catholic italians and his mom was the black sheep only attending on holidays. He only in the last few years started attending a non-denomational that he has really embrassed and so has our girls. We agreed before our eldest was born that we would give them the best view of each religon that we could, we both have attended different churches, and have many friends in other religons that can help where we don't know. Our girls are only 6 & 5 so this hasn't been an intense process for them because its all fun and games in most churches for their groups.
Fast forward to the other day, my dh re-scheduled the home visit with our pastor since the girls are usually at their dads when I'm working. I told my ex about it this morning to see what his thoughts were on it and he is on the same page with me. We are happy she accepted christ into her heart but we don't want her to be baptised until she is not only old enough to understand what the comiment is but also after she experiences other religous practices. I know my DH is going to have a internal issue with this, and it will cause some issues between our children. His eldest son (which is not biologically his) was baptised at age 7, he takes church for granted and does not take it as a serious thing. His biological son is 6 (only a few weeks younger then my daughter) and has already claimed to have accepted christ into his heart (he did this two years ago but I know how they work in the kids room and I think he was provoked into this) he has been asking to be baptised all summer and has visited with the pastor in May. DH is all for him being baptised but I have had to step out of the situation because I do not feel that he is ready. My both of my Stepsons are people pleasers and I personally feel and see that they are doing this to please and be accepted by the church and their dad. We do not belive in baby baptism or child baptism. They are covered under innonsence so having DH agree that babies can not be baptised because they are not old enough to understand why is contridicting to me when he is allowing SS to go this far with it when SS doesn't understand why he would need to be baptised. My DD on the other hand has straight out told me that she will be forgiven for all sins upon being dunked. I know that if SS gets baptised it is going to cause an all out battle between the siblings because he is always trying to one-up her and he will rub it in her face. He already does this enough because our church has a lot of members and always have fun activities for the kids when her dad's church is smaller and more bible focused instead of activities. I have had to set the rule of no telling eachother what they did at chuch because I got tired of hearing the whinning about who got this and who didn't. I know I have more say with my daughters' future in religon because their dad allows me that part of parenting. My biggest issue is with my new pregnancy. We were big in our chuch, DH and I spent many nights doing different activites, and we are also gideons. I have the issue though of having my children having a bias view of religon because this is where DH and I are happy at. I don't want them to be forced into choosing to be baptist because their parents are, nor do I want them to be guilted into it. I don't know how to approach this with DH and I kick myself for not thinking about it until now.