My husband is upset because of what he saw in my will UPDATE ADDED second update
- 698 Replies
Poll
Question: Is it wrong for me to leave the money from the life insurance policy and the house that I paid will the life insurance policy to my kids?
Total Votes: 740
I will start out by saying that I have 2 kids with my late DH. When he died, I got a $750,000 pay out on his policy. With that, I paid off our home and got out of debt and still had about $600,000 left. I work so for the most part, I don't have to use that monthly, it just sits in a savings account though I do use the SSI I get for the kids. My paycheck and the SSI I get for the kids goes in the joint account with my DH to help pay the household bills. But my DH just saw my will (it wasn't hidden, it's just in the safe and he had to get something out of the safe). It says that in the event that I die before my children turn 18, the money stays in the account and is split when they turn 18 (they are twins), in the event I die after they turn 18, they get it. It also says that the house is their's as well. The kids will stay with my DH, he will get SSI from me and my late DH plus he will get to live in the house with them until they are grown. DH thinks that he should get some of the money too and he thinks it's not fair that if I die, he has to move out of the house because it would belong to my kids. My way of thinking is that this money was from their father's life insurance so if I die, the house and money should go to them. I am going to give them some of the money when they are grown anyway.
After reading many of the posts, I still stand by the fact that since the house was paid for with money that should belong to my kids, the house should be theirs too. I mean if I hadn't bought the house and me and my DH lived somewhere else, we would have to pay to live there, it would be a LOT more then what we pay for insurance, taxes and upkeep for this house because we would have to pay that PLUS the mortgage.
However, many of you have pointed out that so much money in 18 year olds' hands is not a good thing and really, I agree. I am going to find out exactly how to set it up so that my children can get a monthly allowance on the money and then they will also have the house. I am going to talk to DH and tell him that the money and property that was bought with money from my late DH belongs to my kids and I will ask him why he thinks he deserves property from my late DH. I am hoping that this will be a none issue and Lord willing, I will live much longer and just give my kids the money when they turn 25 or 30 (but give them allowance from it each month to help them)
For those bashing me, what would you say if I was saying "yeah, the house was paid for with my late DH life insurance policy but instead of giving it to our children, who have lived here since the day they were born and were the ones who actually lost their father, I'm going to give it to my DH". I guarantee you, most of the women on here would be on my ass about that one
Quoting Anonymous:
I agree on the money part but not the house. He is livig there and even though it's paid off I'm sure he's contributing to the upkeep, yearly taxes and insurance therefor he should have a part in the ownership.
Most of the taxes we get back in our income tax return. Also, yeah, he HELPS pay those minor expenses but he also lives here and we don't have to pay anything else for housing.
Quoting LynBoz:
I don't see anything wrong with it. He isn't entitled to your deceased husbands money, your children are.
Quoting mlb456:
I agree 100% with you it was thier dad n theie dads house.. If you dont look oit for your kids who will.. ur dh is grow n can fend for himself
Quoting Anonymous:
So he should have to leave his home because you die? I think you need to leave him SONETHING, I would be upset too. I know that money came from your first husband, but he is your husband, your kids stepfather, and part of your life. Your will does not reflect that.
He is getting his portion of my life insurance policy, my 401k which right now is about $25000) plus whatever we have in savings)
This too. Just because you write it doesn't make it legally binding. Sometimes next of kin automatically gets it sometimes if the other person is your spouse or on the deed they can fight it.
Quoting pinkjimmies06:
You need to check laws. I thought everything goes to the spouse unless the spouse signs it away or you had a prenup. Be careful he could contest that will.
I agree with you on the money but I think he should get the house. Even though you paid it off with that money it is now your house together, right?? That to me makes it seem as though it isn't your house together but instead yours and your childrens and you are just allowing him to live there. I would personally either change it so he gets the house or move and buy a house with him.
Quoting pinkjimmies06:
You need to check laws. I thought everything goes to the spouse unless the spouse signs it away or you had a prenup. Be careful he could contest that will.
As long as I never put it in his name, I can leave it to whoever I want (An attonery wrote my will)
Do you ever get hit on even looking a mess?
Why inflict this silly cosmetic pain on a baby!?!