I hate to air my dirty laundry but here goes. My child is a liar. Apparently, a compulsive liar. He lies about everything. Even the most mundane things. He's 10 years old. He's a sweet boy. He's not defiant and I don't have much trouble with him overall.
But if I ask him if he fed the cat...he lies. Did you do your chores? Lie. Brush your teeth? Lie. Put your shoes away? Lie.
Sometimes, he volunteers the lie before I even ask anything. That's the part that concerns me. Why deliberately lie?
My mother in law thinks that I am putting him in a position to lie by asking him questions. So I stopped asking about chores. If I noticed he didn't do them, I just made a statement, like-- since you didn't put our clothes away, you cannot get on the computer tonight. Instead of asking if he put his clothes away. Even if I was holding the clothes in front of him, he'd lie & say he put them away.
I am at my wits end. I have no idea how to change this. What if he becomes a huge liar all through adulthood and ruins his life?
He doesn't respond to any kind of punishment, he just seems to accept it & waits until it's over and then he continues to lie.
And there is no terrible punishment going on, no spanking, no emotional abuse. We've had a couple of family situations that have upset him but that shouldn't be the cause of his day-to-day, chronic, continual lying.
:(
putting him in a position to lie? it doesnt matter what or how many times you ask he should still be honest. especially about stupid everyday things.
Quoting ltmana:
I have no advice but here's a bump for you! Hopefully someone can help!
It could be just a stage. You could try liein back. Like when he asked if you did something, tell him you did and then when he discovers you didnt and complains, ask him how he liked being lied to. I do this with my kids..with little things. And not all at once. Just out of the blue. It has help them understand how it effect someone else when they lie.
Now if they tattle and they lie, they get the same punishment that the other person would have gotten if the other person had actually done something wrong.
Works for us.
oh i meant to put good luck at the end of that! Idk what you should do. I do think that 'not putting him in the position' is awful advise though.
But at the same time it causes us to loose control because then we've just given up some of our parental role by doing what the child did back. But I still think it's worth a shot I just don't know h
Quoting misfitdiva:It could be just a stage. You could try liein back. Like when he asked if you did something, tell him you did and then when he discovers you didnt and complains, ask him how he liked being lied to. I do this with my kids..with little things. And not all at once. Just out of the blue. It has help them understand how it effect someone else when they lie.
Now if they tattle and they lie, they get the same punishment that the other person would have gotten if the other person had actually done something wrong.
Works for us.
That's the ugliest name everrrr!!!