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I found my husband's profile on a dating website!!!! (small update in purple)

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

This is word for word what his profile says. I'm so humiliated, hurt, angry, every emotion has gone through me today. 

I'm going to be honest here I am married with kids. But I am looking for someone to hang out with and have some fun. I work very late hrs and get out around 2 am and but Im always down for some good sex which my wife is not always in the mood for. I need someone who can be discreet about all this. If you don't want to mess around then we can still be friends cause I dont mind having gorgeous friends either. I like to please a woman orally as well as fucking her however she likes. So if you are interested leave me a message!

He paid 29.95 a month to find a woman to sleep around with. Fucking sick.

I don't want to call our marriage quits just yet, I don't just give up on things but this will definitely change things. 

Update: I just wanted to answer a few questions. I found the site because I was ordering pizza, his email was the first to pop up so I just used it. When I went to confirm that the order went through, I saw a bunch of emails from the website so yes I clicked it. I know it's him because it has his full name, his picture, and our general area. I am going to assume he's been paying for it with his work card(he has his own business so he uses it for materials, etc) because I've never noticed it on any of our other bills. He is not home now, he is at his parent's house until Wed, helping them build a deck. Once he gets home, we are going to have a verrrry long talk about this. I'm not saying for sure that I will stay or go. It all depends on how he reacts to this situation and how our talk goes. 

Update 2: Well we talked, he said that he never did hook up with any of them but he wasn't going to lie, he said he planned on it at one time. I don't know if that's the truth or not but I don't care anymore, we are going to move past it. I have an appoitnment set up with a marriage counselor and we are going to try the love dare as seen in the movie fire proof. And as for all of you who were questioning if he was really at his mom's. Yes he was there, we've only had 1 car for the past week(car troubles with the other) so they came to pick him up and they took DD with them plus they live way out in the country.

I don't care that many of you think I'm dumb or naive but it's MY marriage and only I know what is best for me and our children.

One more thing, stop hounding me to update. I know some of you run to cafemom after your every move but I can't do that LOL!

The last update was a joke people. Jesus Christ. I appreciate all the kind words and support, I really do. I may not be doing what many suggested(divorcing him) but like  I said, I know what is best for my marriage. Oh and we will BOTH be getting tested! 

Posted by Anonymous on Aug. 6, 2012 at 4:00 PM
Replies (1491-1500):
by on Aug. 22, 2012 at 1:17 PM

this is still going on?

Not only am I modified, a proud member of a hook suspension crew, slightly crazy, a writer and lots of fun.  I'm also pansexual, an active member in the BDSM community, soon to be married, totally monogamous and the proud mum to two kick ass little boys. 

by on Aug. 22, 2012 at 2:27 PM
1 mom liked this

I don't know if you'll still be reading updates BUT I really applaud your very mature approach. It sounds like you've both been open and honest, non-confrontational without having all the facts and I think you both should take a second shot at this. If he refused counselling or some other red flag popped up, that's a different story. If he's sorry, realizes that he could have screwed up (but didn't - big diffference) and is willing to do what you ask to make amends, I think your relationship is stronger than this.  I have so much more to tell you that I don't want to put here publically so if you'd like to pm me, I'd welcome it. GOOD FOR YOU TWO. There are too many people who don't take their vows seriously anymore and who just shout "divorce, divorce". That belongs on  Jerry Springer, not in real life.

by on Aug. 24, 2012 at 8:41 AM
1 mom liked this

i admire you for not giving up on him. I pray that the Love Dare /marriage counselor works.  I replied earlier about going through difficult times with my husband and coming out of it a much much stronger couple.  I pray this also happens with you.

by Mi Vida Loca on Aug. 24, 2012 at 8:46 AM
1 mom liked this
Just a matter of time till he does it again.You showed him he can disrespect you and your marriage and get away with it.He's just going to be more sneaky about it.
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by on Aug. 25, 2012 at 10:02 AM
Good luck sweetie. You are mature at such a young age. Many women choose to work through issues like this after"investing" decades into a marriage. I applaud your efforts....but you also need to know when to call it quits. You are so young and have your entire life ahead of you..You DESERVE RESPECT LOVE AND HAPPINESS. If that doesn't happen soon, get out and find it found the REST OF YOUR LIFE!!!
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by on Aug. 26, 2012 at 9:28 AM
I can tell you take your marriage seriously. I hope you guys can work Through this and come out better than ever. I'm so sorry you are going through this but I'm sure you will be stronger for it and will be able to help others with your experience. I know that's not your concern right now but when you're standing on the other side of this it helps to know that what you've gone through has made you so strong. May God bless you and your family. And I'm truly inspired by your commitment to your family.
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by Anonymous 295 on Aug. 28, 2012 at 1:45 PM

check the history on the computer ...  might want to check past e-mails--  ask for the pass word..check messager...Facebook..cell phone-photos,text, strange phone numbers. .google the name(s) he was useing..good luck with the couseling

by Anonymous 290 on Sep. 4, 2012 at 12:12 AM


Just spit root beer all over my screen,cause this sounds like someone that was or is a memeber on here that caught her boyfriend cheating. lmao

by Bronze Member on Sep. 4, 2012 at 1:01 PM

I wholeheartedly agree with you! Women should always have an exit plan. Life is unpredictable and really no matter how in love you were, there will fade, either to something wonderfully comfortable or something intolerable. We are people. We do change. 

Quoting enchantedmoon:

See, the thing is that quite often women actually do better when they do leave. Financially, emotionally, etc. I know marriages that have survived infidelities, but disproportionately few and all of them had one strong self confident woman.

The idea that a woman stays because she feels she has no better options is nauseating to me, since statistically women are better providers and do better alone than with scum bags. I'm sorry, just venting here, but a strong support network for any lady is a must.

I have my stash of savings my DH knows about but has no access to and a plan B just in
case- and my marriage is pretty
awesome. I think every woman should have that because you never know what will happen. Some people change, some people lied, sometimes it just did not work out. Good to have an exit plan always. I know, unpopular. My father left my adoring mother high and dry with 4 kids at 22. I learned, no matter how awesome he seems, have a plan B and work do you never have to use it!
But if it comes to that, always put yourself and your kids first, arm your self of self confidence, if you lack it, work on developing and keeping a healthy one. You can always do better!

Quoting calliemist:

I think in all honesty, most women would just leave if they could afford to financially, but most cannot because they don't have a financial footing to stand on. 

This is where women get the short end of the stick. 

Then there are the other points of you loving him and actually wanting to work it out and hope he'll change. 

But whatever you do, Make sure this isnt the begining of the end of you having your integrity. 

by on Sep. 7, 2012 at 6:25 PM
2 moms liked this

I don't know if it means much coming from a complete stranger but I am so glad you were able to work it out.  With so many marriages ending over social media it's  truly admirable for you to try and salvage everything.  I had a brief snafu with my husband speaking inappropriately with an ex girlfriend through email, and we were 3000 miles away from her, shortly after we were married and we talked it through and I'm so glad that I didn't follow some of the suggestions you've been given, like throwing him out, leaving and moving back to my parents', etc.  There are many things that come up during a marriage and you don't know the lines until you draw them or cross them.  Common sense says his actions were not appropriate but sometimes common sense isn't that common.  I truly wish you the best.  I've been married nine years now and have three kids and I couldn't imagine how things would have been had we split after just a couple months of marriage!  I don't think you are dumb or naive.  I think you are strong and are using a mature and intelligent way to work together and get through this rough chapter in your marriage. 

Good luck!

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