Back story: DH and I have been married 5 years, have a 3 and 1 year old. DH has an 8 year old SD with his college sweetheart. They broke up for 5 years when she moved to germany, then she got back in January(5 years after they broke up), they got back together, and SD was born August 6 of that year.
I just heard the whole story yesterday from ex's mom at SD's birthday party and then confirmed it with DH. SD was NOT premature, she was born almost 9 pounds with a full head of red hair(still has red hair). DH and everyone in his family have black hair, the ex has brown hair. (WHICH IS NOT THE IMPORTANT PART WHAT IS IMPORTANT IS SD WAS NOT A PREEMIE SO THE EX WAS CLAIMING TO ONLY BE PREGNANT FOR 7 MONTHS GEEZUS PEOPLE LEARN SOME READING COMPREHENSION)
AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO THINKS SOMETHING DOESN'T SEEM RIGHT?? Should I bring this up to DH?
To add he has said things that make me think he thinks she is biologically his, like he says she has his eyes or gets her temper from his side of the family, or shes going to be tall like his dad.
Ok, some more info:
1. They live in Germany, he sees her twice a year a week for her birthday they fly back, and a week for Christmas. They moved after DH and ex broke up.
2. If DH knew I was being lied to big time and didn't tell me I would feel betrayed.
3. He does not pay CS so that's not a problem/consideration.
4. I think SD deserves to know her real father wherever he is. She will find out the truth someday whether or not I say anything(No I am not going to tell HER myself).
Update: I am not reading through all these replies as I find it ridiculous how many of you think it is not my business what is going on in my marriage or think I shouldn't talk to my husband. You all must have some sad secretive marriages no wonder your husbands cheat on you and you're surprised, you don't ever talk about anything and you keep secrets! For the record I have known DH a very long time we were BF's in High School so I have been around I just didn't know the details about his relationship with the ex since I was in my own relationship at the time. ANYway I will be talking to him when he gets home in a few hours and if he says he knows and doesn't care then I will drop it.
Update: Well we talked and it was not a pretty convo. Oh not for the reason youre all hoping. He 100% believed/believes she is his. He says his ex actualky got back the second week of december and although they weren't officially back together til January they did sleep together the last week of Dec. i said ok that's still only 8 months and maybe 2 weeks she was pregnant and usually women are pregnant for 40 weeks which is actually 10 months. I had to show this to him online because he was like well pregnancy is only 9 months so maybe ____ was 2 weeks early. Once I showed him the real facts he took it hard. I asked if he was mad I brought this up he said no but he feels so stupid now. Not that he loves her any less but he feels completely betrayed by his ex. As of right now he isn't sure what to do and I told him I will support him in any decision he makes as long as he thinks it through first. Oh and he said specifically he's glad to know I always have his back.
Update 2! DH talked to his sister who used to be friends with the ex and asked her what to do. Guess what sister points out...ex's best friend is a redheaded guy! He used to live in germany and recently moved to London. They became friends when she moved out there. Now DH really wants to know just to know but he doesn't want to tell the ex. They are still here until Sunday so hes thinking about swabbing her for a send-away DNA kit when she's asleep.