There is a moral to the story, but I'll warn you it has to do with poop and lots of it. It gets gross, don't read if you don't want to hear about poop! If you don't want to read, I'll just give you the moral now: Go to the doctor when they say, no matter HOW embarassing you think it is!
I had a C section back in March. The doctors cautioned over and over that if I had trouble urinating or defacating at any point over the next few months, especially after my periods, to call them.
I got my first period 2 weeks ago. It was short, uneventful. But, I noticed I hadn't had a bowel movement since it started. I'm usually a once a day, at 9pm kind of gal. So regular I could set a clock by it. I considered calling the doctors, but decided to wait. Sex life with the DH was just picking up again, and it was GREAT. I was active, working out again, starting to finally feel like the C section trauma was behind me. I didn't want any lengthy discussions or concerns about my bowels.
I took some stool softeners and waited. Nothing happened. Took more the next day, max dose. Got stomach cramps, but nothing happened. I slipped some laxatives at night after DH went to bed, more cramps, but nothing happened.
I was so embarrassed. I didn't know how to call the doctors and say "I don't know if this is a big deal or not, but I can't poop?" (Well, I should have called and said EXACTLY that and let them take it from there!)
I sat down and did the math, and realized, well, I hadn't shit in a LONG time. I started to get concerned. My friend gave me a bottle of Magnesium Citrate, with a PROMISE that it always cleared her out. Nothing happened. Cramps, farts, but no bowel movement.
Finally, DH realized I was in the bathroom for FOREVER, and he walked in on me straining and bawling my eyes out. He helped me into some sweatpants and we headed to the ER.
I was given an X-ray that confirmed the obvious: I was full of shit.
They admitted me to the hospital and tried to put a camera up there. It couldn't get through. They came and told me my options: Surgery, b/c it might be a blockage, or an enima to get things cleared out and moving so they could do the camera thing again. I chose enima.
I then spent the next few HOURS loosing my bowels. Once the enima cleared out the impacted turd lumps, the Magnesium Citrate finished clearing out every speck of fecal matter in my body. I started off on the toilet, but this amazing nurse came in with a pan/pail and put it on the floor, saying I could crouch or do whatever I needed to do.
Now, this nurse was HOT. Sexy hot nurse with a heart of gold. I could see DH, acting like an eager puppy to please her. He was fetching water, crackers, cool wet rags, anything she said he was ON it. And, of course, as I'm sweating up a storm, squatting over a pan on the floor doing my nasty business, I felt insecure and jealous. I didn't let her know, she seriously had a heart of gold. She never made a grossed out face, coughed, sniffed, nothing. Just sweet gentle support. She even wiped my ass for me a few times, even though I shamefully said she didn't have to. "I'm just trying to help you be comfortable, sweetie. It's OK. You're doing fine. Just let me clean you up quick. There there. You need anything, hun? I'm going to wait right here. You want to talk? No? Would you like me to tell you a story or some jokes ot take your mind off things?"
Finally, I got to feeling OK and got back on the bed. Sexy sweet nurse left, and with her went DH's energy and enthusiasm. He began complaining about how I didn't go to the doctor earlier. What was wrong? Could he sleep now? What should we do about the kids? They were with the neighbor, who had to work in a few hours. On and on. And I just cried. I showered, then cried some more. I ate some Jello, and cried even more.
To make things even better, they came back with their lovely camera. My ass was SORE. I was humiliated already, and I had to let them shove their camera back up there. And, of course, DH somehow talked them into letting him watch! Good job, DH has now peeked over the curtain at my C section and saw my insides, now he also has in his memory a view of my damned colon! (I could have told them to kick him out, but honestly I just gave up on everything by that point. I was weak, I had chills, I had an IV giving me fluids and I guess antibiotics for some reason. Bloodwork showed signs of an infection. And I still had gas.)
They found no blockages with their camera. But, after some other tests, they found that scar tissue had formed on my bowels, likely after the C section, and that was preventing them from "flexing" properly. I now have to have a surgery to laser off the scar tissue and hope to God it doesn't grow back.
So, I'm on a liquid only diet. DH has barely even looked at me without either laughing or commenting on how nasty it was smelling, and he thinks he can still smell it on my hair even after 100 showers...I have to start solids slowly, take laxatives, and within a couple of weeks here I get to have another surgery, which will mean no sex for another 6+ weeks or so. Not that DH would touch me with a 10 foot pole at this point.
And, had I just called the doctor early on, I could have taken prescription laxatives or an enima from them, found the problem, and gotten surgery w/o the entire fiasco of the hospital shit fest.
So there you have it. Better to call the doctors early than to go through that!
Edit: All the comments on DH are making me laugh! No pun intended there, ladies?
DH is a good guy. He isn't perfect in all situations, and when it comes to toilet humor, well he's quite immature. I still love him. This isn't a shining example of his good side, but oh well. Honestly, though, I am ticked at him for it all. But I think someday we'll look back and laugh.