Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Should We Attach a STIGMA to Food Stamps?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

"We" being the Government.  Should we make people feel bad so they will get off FS's faster?  Should those using FS be entitled to buy the same foods as those paying cash?  Is there a benefit to attaching a stigma to food stamps? 

Posted by Anonymous on Aug. 12, 2012 at 9:26 AM
Replies (221-230):
by Anonymous 20 on Aug. 12, 2012 at 11:15 PM

Uh, yeah.  What would you do if the government wasn't there to fall back on?  Would you rather be at home so you could breastfeed and have what you want or work so your child could actually eat?  Me personally I would work any job I could get in order to feed my children.  Lord forbid something happen and we fall on hard times I wouldn't resort to FS or any form of PA unless there were no jobs at all to be had.  I would do anything possible to feed my family and not rely on others to do it for me.  My children are mine and my DH's responsibility, no one else's.  We chose to have a family and we take care of our family.  I don't know why that is such a foreign concept to so many people.

Quoting Anonymous:

Really? What the hell is wrong with you? Does it make you feel better belittling people who need temporary help?!

I hope nothing ever happens in your life where you have no money... but if it does i hope you dont go running to government assistance if it ever happens to you. You dont want to be with the irresponsible trash like us.

My bad I'm trying to make a better life for my family. But by your standards my baby should never see her MOTHER, because I should be working and going to school right? I should get up in the morning, go to class, go to work then come home, clean, and go to bed right?
That sucks for my breastfeeding since its so easy to pump enough milk during school and working, right? Or should I switch to formula.. Another unnecessary cost, especially since I make milk.

Have fun sitting up on your high horse with a broomstick so far up your ass you cant walk.
Oh an I REFUSE to feel like shit, or like a bad mom because of your judgmental opinion when we are trying to do the best for our family at the moment.

Quoting Anonymous:

Gee, it must be wonderful to have to admit to yourself that you can't care for your child without the government, I'm glad you're so proud of yourself and your "man".  Most people look at the costs of having a child before they actually have one so they know the expenses involved.  Its really not hard and considering you're in school I'm sure they've taught you how to research.  

Quoting Anonymous:

Yeah, too bad childcare's so expensive. We'd be paying more in childcare where we live than I would be making if I were working. And until I get out of school, which will be in 3 weeks, I will enjoy my government assistance. :)

Quoting Anonymous:

And if he can't take care of his family on his income alone then you should be bringing in some money.  I don't need to know your story to know that it is you're responsiblity to care for your child, not the government's.

Quoting Anonymous:

There is an income from my so, he works full time plus does odd jobs here and there when available. See, my SO watches the baby while im in class, and i am home when hes working. you don't even know my story, so don't make assumptions about things you know nothing about.

Oh and this is my first time to EVER be on assistance. it started this month.

Quoting Anonymous:

I swear this is the most popular excuse on CM.  Millions of people manage to go to school and work full time to take care of their families.  Going to school is not a job and if you cannot afford to support your family on one income or if there isn't an income from an SO then you need to be working.

Quoting Anonymous:

I already am super embarrassed when I go upbto the checkout. But it is what we need right now so I can go to school

by on Aug. 12, 2012 at 11:16 PM

We are discussing the importance of parents who receive welfare pushing their kids to want more and explaining that it isn't a way of life.  Your stories are not remotely relevant.  Did you read the comment that I was agreeing with?  Or did you just read a few lines of my comment until you felt defensive enough to respond?

Getting some help after you lost your house and everything in doesn't make you a lifelong welfare recipient.  A child getting a little assistance to live after the death of a parent is also not even close to what we are discussing.  I'm very sorry for your losses, but they are not relevant to what I'm discussing.

Quoting AshleySail:

This is not true!
My mom was on temporary assistance and food stamps because my house burned down when I was in 5th grade. Once she got back on her feet, we were off of it.
I received social security after my mom passed away when I was a junior. Does that mean that my baby is going to automatically be a welfare abuser? I don't think so.

Quoting LuLuThatsWho:

You're exactly right.  Welfare recipients breed more welfare recipients by teaching their kids that it is ok to be proud of the handouts.  They grow up thinking that it is free, and it never even occurs to them (or they don't care) that someone has to pay for their food and healthcare and cash assistance.

As for changes in the rules about what can be purchased, I absolutely believe that there should be stipulations.  I can't tell you how many times I have seen someone pay for cases of soda, gallons of ice cream, boxes of processed chocolate cereals, and tons of frozen "pink goo" chicken nuggets with food stamps.  We let people who already have planning, judgment, and life skill issues use their own discretion to buy whatever they want with their magic grocery money card.  They get morbidly obese from over-eating junk and not working and have diabetes and heart disease.  Then, they get monthly disability payments for the rest of their lives in addition to "free food" for life.  And we have to foot their astronomical medical bills.  How is this good planning?  The carte blanche approach to food stamps isn't doing anyone any favors... the recipients or the people funding and running the program.

Quoting Bigmetalchicken:

There is already a stigma attached to food stamps. And I don't know if it has changed, but I remember when I was a kid, and my mother got food stamps, the store she got them from would only allow her to buy the generic brand of anything.  Plus she would go once a month and pick up a big block of the 'government cheese', a gallon on the nastiest peanut butter ever, and the grossest crackers ever made. 
I remember her being embarrassed (She never had to do this until after she married my loser step father), and I remember the food being gross.  And it motivated me, even as a kid, to bust my butt so i would NEVER have to live like that as an adult. So I suppose that was one benefit to it. But, I will give my mom this, she was a horrible mother and a terrible role model, but she did ingrain on my brother and I that handouts were something to be ashamed of. I don't think that is something that the people that continue the cycle of poverty really hear from their parents.

by on Aug. 12, 2012 at 11:20 PM

Is there a benefit to shaming people? Should we make people so ashamed of themselves, their circumstances and their life choices that they feel like losers when then go to the store?  

I am just going out on a limb, and I am going to say no.  Asking for handouts will always attatch a stigma for itself. No one needs to work to do that.  If someone is going to feel bad, they are going to feel bad with out any help. 

I think empowering people to feel like they are creative, resourceful and whole would go a lot further than shaming people into thinking that they are failures, they won't do anything in life and are not worth as much as others. It is just my personal opinion. People who abuse handouts, are going to abuse handouts. I don't love our public assistance system, there are wholes, blanket rules are really rough - but I don't think shaming people is the way to create a group of people to do better. Think about shaming teens about masturbation, usually doesn't have much of an effect on the kids, and it just leaves them with messed up views about their bodies, sex and creates a whole host of new issues that can have a screwed up impact on their life choices. 

I believe that empowering people, and helping them gain access to resources and solutions will always return better results. 

On the flip side, I do think that there should be items that are off limits when it comes to nutritional food assistance programs. Not because people don't deserve it (I feel like people always get wrapped up in worth in this issue, but quite simply, because most food items in the store are "extras". Meat/protein sources, fruit, dairy, vegetables and whole grains, you need those. Chips, soda, bakery items, juice, those are all tasty, fun, extras. Not things that are required to help your bodies run in an efficient manor. 

I understand the complications that stem from this statement. Lack of access to cost effective food items, lack of education around nutritional options, and that while most nutritional assistance programs are designed to be supplemental, people are often not able to use them as supplemental, but rather, they are the whole food budget. 


by Anonymous 38 on Aug. 13, 2012 at 12:15 AM

Not everyone on food stamps is a piece of trash, sit on their ass, loser!  My husband and I work hard for what we have, and we are still below poverty level.  I get food stamps to help feed my kids.  It embarasses me to have to use it, but I am one of the ones who pays into what I am getting back from the government.  I don't sit on my ass afoll day and wait for the check to come in.....I am out there busting my ass.  I try to hide that I am using the EBT card because I know how others look down on people who get food stamps.  I feel sorry for the people who need it and aren't able to get it because of all the people who abuse the system.

by on Aug. 13, 2012 at 12:51 AM

You know there already is a stigma attached to being on FS. I am disabled and receive FS and I get terrible looks from people at the store. I'm sorry you have to wait a little longer for me to purchase my food for my family. I don't abuse the system, so don't lump me into the general people who rely on assistance.

by on Aug. 13, 2012 at 12:56 AM

Hubris is a luxury not afforded by all dear

Quoting Anonymous:

You're right, I have no concept of living in poverty or having to rely on welfare. :)

I've always been above that.

Quoting Amyinthesky:

I have a job you ignorant  child  I own and run my own INN but I fully remember what it was like to be on assistance something you obviously have no concept of. Say I didn't have one were you going to get me one? Did you have trouble finding yours? Are you so fortunate that they fall into your lap or idid it take time and was there a shortage. Think before you speak ma'am it saves us all time devoted to sifting through your bullshit.

Quoting Anonymous:

Get a job! The amount you just wrote could easily fill a job application!

Quoting Amyinthesky:

I hate you! I want you to know that. I hate everything you are purposing, and I hate you for having absolutely no love for anyone in that situation. I can only hope that one day you are in that boat. Newsflash there is stigma. Have you ever went to the welfare office have you ever been looked down on at the fucking grocery store because you bought your child a treat? Have you ever had people make posts about  how they should treat you and weather or not it would be ok to make things fucking worse for you. You want people off of food stamps then help them. Try to get better programs in the assistance offices that teach people how to be confident how to find work, help with child care, building ambitions, Help someone go to school , learn how to budget actual money , help someone work to get off welfare offer someone a job pass out  an application Don't ask if we should increase the stigma. Don't you get it? We are just like you, we don't have enough money that is the only difference. You think all people want to be on this , you think that it feels good not to be able to provide for your children, you think this doesn't give us panic attacks evrey day, that we are not looking for work, that no one is trying. You think your judgement and dirty looks go unnoticed , do you even know how manny people you have made feel like shit? Do you know how manny times you have reduced people to tears ? And you are sitting here at your fucking computer asking if we should increase this? How can you be so soulless?  Go ahead increase the damn stigma you and the government and anyone else it won't change a thing because the same issues will still exist and people will still need the food stamps you will only have succeeded in widening the gap between rich and poor and making other human beings feel far less then you who is apparently superior. Well let me tell you something sweety having money and not being in need does not mean you are a better person. You be ashamed but I know you think you are too good for that!

by Silver Member on Aug. 13, 2012 at 1:10 AM

It does have a stigma already. PA and FS is ment to be a hand up not a hand out. I am on FS and my kids have Medicaid and they will until their major health problems are resolved. So I made a bad decision, my kids should not suffer so I have been busting my ass to finish school and working the whole time through. My goal was not to be doing this as a single mom but hey I am. I am not ashamed but I am not proud either. It is what it is. I do think it is sad that it is so easy for people to abuse the situation but hey they could make it harder. Drug tests?....sure I'll do that....wanna come check out what I buy......bring it on....I would jump through whatever hoops they told me to just to ensure my kids have good healthy food on the table. I am glad some of you are so perfect that you would never stoop so low but I am teaching my kids the benefits to busting your butt......humility to accept help when needed.....and appreciation for what they have and how hard I work to get off of everything. Life is hard enough I sure hope you do not pass your horrible judgement onto your children.

by Anonymous 39 on Aug. 13, 2012 at 2:17 AM

 True, but some people actually need them to feed their children.  I lost my great job and had to work  2 part time jobs (couldn't find a full time one) and could barely pay bills and feed my kids.  After a couple of months of ramen noodles, big pots of soup, peanut butter sandwiches and "meatless meals" 4 nights a week, I broke down and applied for them.  The look on my children's faces when they saw actual food in the fridge made me want to cry.  I had been depriving my children because of my PRIDE.  I don't give a damn where it comes from- I pay my taxes, bust my ass at work, and need them to make ends meet for now.  Bash away, IDGAF because my kids have full bellies and that's all that matters to me, and I celebrate the fact they are.

Quoting Canvas_says:

Yes, it certainly isn't something that should be celebrated or easily attainable. 


by Sapphire Member on Aug. 13, 2012 at 7:37 AM

there already is?....

by on Aug. 13, 2012 at 8:09 AM

you mean there isnt already stigma? 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)