I don't give a fuck anymore. I'm tired of faking it. I'm tired of trying not to go back. I'm through. I'm going back to my eating disorder. I'm gonna start cutting again. I can't take this shit I feel inside of me. I hate myself. I hate everything about me. I need to get away from everyone and just focus on this. I refuse to stop any longer. I refuse it. I just want to be alone. Alone with this anger, pain, frustration. I am going to start a liquid fast...I hate my fucking self beyond. I'm to far in now. I don't want help. I just want to reach my goal weight. And when I will get there I will decide what's next for me. I am going into this fully and I won't stop untill I feel its enough.