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Yes, you can have a breast cake for your 6th birthday

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My daughter has been talking for two months now about having a breast shaped cake for her birthday.  She is turning six.  She is not still breastfeeding and she doesn't have any younger siblings, so I'm not sure what gave her the idea.  We decided to do it.  My mom thinks it is terribly inappropriate, but I feel like it is her birthday and she should get to have it as much the way she wants it as possible.  I think it turned out great.

EDIT: Yes, I did serve it at her party.  No one said anything negative about it.  One child asked her mom what it was, and her mom told her it was because breast feeding is wonderful.  The beginning of August is breast feeding awareness week, so I think that helped.  Several friends commented on how cool it was and took pictures.

EDIT AGAIN: I'm not concerned with why she wanted a breast cake.  Originally she asked for a "nurser" cake.  When she was breastfeeding she used to call them "nursers" so I assumed that it had to do with that.  Some of her friends do have younger siblings who nurse and we also have several books about nursing.  I just don't know for sure what made her think of it.  I asked her two months ago and she first said it.  We didn't talk about it at all after that until it was time to make the cake.  I wanted to see if she would remember that she wanted it that way.  I also figured by this time she might not remember what made her think of it in the first place.  I don't find it strange or weird that this would be her request.  I think it is empowering to her as a future woman that her breasts have the power to feed and sustain a baby.

ANOTHER EDIT: added another picture for those who thought this was a troll post.  

by on Aug. 16, 2012 at 9:20 PM
Replies (421-430):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 59 on Aug. 18, 2012 at 1:30 AM

Umm...wow. I'm at a loss for words. I can't believe you actually said yes!!

AnakaAlisyn
by on Aug. 18, 2012 at 1:31 AM

I don't think she knows what either of those things are, nor would I know how to make that cake.

Quoting Angeleyes_6:

What ever happened to princess or barbie cakes.....


AnakaAlisyn
by on Aug. 18, 2012 at 1:36 AM
1 mom liked this

Lol, yeah, I definitely march to the beat of my own drum.  I do what works best for my family, even if it isn't the social norm.  As for your question, I don't know what I would do if my child was a boy.  I'd like to imagine I'd have done things the same, but what we imagine we would do and what we actually do when it comes down to it are not always the same thing.  One year for Christmas, instead of a holiday dress she wanted a suit.  I bought it for her.  She also went through phase where she insisted on being called by my brother's name.  I allowed that, too.  Currently, she wants to be called by my name.  I'd like to think I'd treat a boy the same way, but the sad truth is that it is easier in our society for a girl to experiement with gender roles than it is for boys.  

Quoting Lady_In_Ink:

Not meant to be rude, but I'm guessing you're a bit of an oddball, huh? I can't imagine anyone who wasn't incredibly quirky doing something like this. Lol.

What if the child was a boy? Would you have let a six year old boy have a titty cake?


Anonymous
by Anonymous 60 on Aug. 18, 2012 at 1:39 AM
1 mom liked this

It blows my mind how parents want their kids to feel "empowered" or think that even things that are not appropriate are okay to give into just because their precious kid wants something.  Have you ever heard the word NO??  Have you ever told your kid NO???  This just absolutely blows my mind to allow your six year old dd to have a boob cake.  Seriously.  I understand allowing kids to be kids and it's her birthday and all... but when are you going to be a parent and tell her why it's not appropriate?  This is disgusting.  She's SIX.  Tell her NO.

AnakaAlisyn
by on Aug. 18, 2012 at 1:39 AM

She chose her flavors.  Also, she isn't white.  I don't like posting pictures of other people's kids without parent permisson, but someone stated unless they saw kids with the cake, they wouldn't believe it, so I cropped it down quite a big and took the faces out.

Quoting Anonymous:

Everyone is white and the cake is all (chocolate frosting)! Just saying heehee! Ild have done her in vanilla! Very weird though, a boob cake! 


NOLAmom27
by Silver Member on Aug. 18, 2012 at 1:49 AM
Oh dear, people, it's a cake and breasts are not sexual to everyone. Children, especially, do not view breasts as sexual and if for some reason they do, there is something wrong with the parents. Op, I hope your kid had a great birthday.
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AnakaAlisyn
by on Aug. 18, 2012 at 1:51 AM

Ug, I don't like guessing, so I didn't on my original post.  You questioned me, so I dug deeper.  Not changing my story.  I honestly don't know where she got the idea from.  Maybe it was from one of the nursing books we have around the house.  

Also, in the United States, breasts are considered sexual objects, BUT this is believed to be a learned behavior from our society.  In Katherine Dettwyler's "Beauty and the Breast: The Cultural Context of Breastfeeding in the United States," she referrs to a study by Ford and Beach which interviewed 190 cultures and found that only 13 of them considered breasts to be sexual.  More interestingly, each culture considered different types of breasts to be most desireable.  

Am I naive?  Sometimes, in the sense that I forget that not everyone has the child development education that I have, but I assure you, I am not ignorant.  

Quoting noTimetothink:

She is not still breastfeeding and she doesn't have aUny younger siblings, so I'm not sure what gave her the idea

your words, don't try to switch up your story now just because a lot of moms think this is trashy. and yes breast are a sexual object, for you to say otherwise is silly and unrealistic.  the fact that no one else at this party had a issue with it shows me the class of people in your circle. good for you lady, give yourself a high five. I'm done here, naive ignorant people bother me.

Quoting AnakaAlisyn:

Hmm, I didn't realize I was exposing her to sexual objects.  She knows that breasts are for feeding babies.  This is not sexual.  I don't dress sexy and I don't let her dress sexy.  We don't have a television, so she doesn't see sexual images that way either.  I doubt she knows what chip n dales are and I don't see that changing in the next few years, but just in case she does ask for them at a future party, I'm pretty sure I'll never be able to afford them.

Oh, and just because she asks for something for her birthday, I do my best to accomodate her.  This doesn't mean she gets everything she wants for her birthday.  She also asked for a week long party.  We settled for three days of inviting friends to join us for our regularly scheduled public activities: preschool skate, park day, family swim night.  

Quoting noTimetothink:

so just because she wants something for her birthday ...she gets it. wow, you are the reason we have so many underage girls coming down with std's(we are at a record high for young girls/boys get something), the total lack of boundaries is amazing. way to go mommy. let me guess when she is 9 she is going to want a chip ndales dancer for her bday and you will say yes. this is wants wrong with parents today, they have no issue with exposing their children to sexual objects, you could have at least put it in a bikini, and done away with the nipples. trash trash trash




lolorachel
by on Aug. 18, 2012 at 1:55 AM
Breasts are everywhere. It is not like they are hard to find. She is a little girl understanding her body. What is so wrong with a boob cake? You see breast for breast cancer in the form of scarfs and on t-shirts. The cake doesn't even look inappropriate.
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AnakaAlisyn
by on Aug. 18, 2012 at 1:59 AM

In the United States, breasts are considered sexual objects, BUT this is believed to be a learned behavior from our society.  In Katherine Dettwyler's "Beauty and the Breast: The Cultural Context of Breastfeeding in the United States," she referrs to a study by Ford and Beach which interviewed 190 cultures and found that only 13 of them considered breasts to be sexual.  More interestingly, each culture considered different types of breasts to be most desireable. 

After having the experience of nursing my own child until she was ready to wean, I don't see my breasts as sexual objects.  I don't flaunt them around or flirt with them.  My daughter does not see them as sexual objects either.  She knows they are for nursing.  It is our culture and our advertizing that teaches us that breasts are sexual.  Since we don't have a working television, since my computer doesn't have sound, since she doesn't play video games, since she doesn't play with Barbie, she isn't exposed to as much of this as most people are.  I think it is sad that so many people are unable to see breasts as what they are: nurishment for baby.

Quoting Anonymous:

 sex·u·al

adjective /ˈsekSHo͞oəl/ 

  1. Relating to the instincts, physiological processes, and activities connected with physical attraction or intimate physical contact between individuals
    • - she had felt the thrill of a sexual attraction

  2. Of or relating to the two sexes or to gender
    • - sensitivity about sexual stereotypes

  3. Of or characteristic of one sex or the other
    • - the hormones which control the secondary sexual characteristics

  4. Being of one sex or the other; capable of sexual reproduction


So I think YOU, in fact, don't understand what sexual means...

Breasts are organs that women have, not men.  technically yes men have nipples etc, but to say that a man has a breast that is similar enough to a woman's to say it's not a gender difference is ignorant.  So yes, breasts ARE sexual. They cause pleasure and arousal when stimulated - an elbow does not. Maybe you should get your facts straight.

Quoting firespurity:

You clearly dont understand what sexual actually means. Being a direct part of reproduction scientifically makes it sexual.. Many men find your mouth erotic.. so if some men it sexual does society ban mouths for the fetish of any number of men, no. what during sex,my husband might grab my breasts, he grabs my hips, shoulders, feet, arms, hands and kisses me way more often.. So from my experience and scientifically they have no more sexual function then my my arm pit.
Quoting Anonymous:

Ok..so next time she can make a vagina cake. I mean its meant to push out babies through the birth canal..so it's not sexual. Women use it for what its intended for. Orrr how about a penis cake?!?!? Its used to pass urine..so its not sexual. We can have a penis cake!!!!!!!



Point is, just because parts of our body is multi functional does not mean its appropriate to show children at a party. Should my hands and mouth be deemed sexual? ?





Quoting firespurity:

Cool. I never understood why breasts are considered a shameful thing. They aren't sexual organs, so who cares. Just another body part like an arm or a leg.

 


AnakaAlisyn
by on Aug. 18, 2012 at 2:00 AM

I said yes to something that you wouldn't say yes to, so you think I never say no?  

Quoting Anonymous:

It blows my mind how parents want their kids to feel "empowered" or think that even things that are not appropriate are okay to give into just because their precious kid wants something.  Have you ever heard the word NO??  Have you ever told your kid NO???  This just absolutely blows my mind to allow your six year old dd to have a boob cake.  Seriously.  I understand allowing kids to be kids and it's her birthday and all... but when are you going to be a parent and tell her why it's not appropriate?  This is disgusting.  She's SIX.  Tell her NO.


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