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if you feel abortion is murder...... how do you feel about.....

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

How do you feel about people who try and try to carry a baby to term but never can? I'm not just talking two miscarriages. I'm talking about the women who have had 8 and are still desperately trying to carry a baby to term. Do you judge them? Is it different because they want the baby even though they get pregnant knowing that the baby has little chance to live? Is THAT murder? Is it okay because their body is ridding them of the pregnancy and not their mind?

I'm truly interested in your view.

Is spontaneous abortion murder if you know it will most likely happen?


*For women who have gone through this, I mean no disrespect. I can not imagine the emotional turmoil associated with that kind of loss. I don't mean this to be insensitive towards you.

Posted by Anonymous on Aug. 19, 2012 at 4:40 PM
Replies (51-60):
Jlpmmom
by on Aug. 19, 2012 at 9:29 PM
I've never mc, thank God, but I don't believe a woman trying to have a baby means to lose it, its not a choice.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Aug. 19, 2012 at 9:30 PM
2 moms liked this
No one can KNOW if a pregnancy will end in miscarriage. A mom who keeps trying is always hoping for one baby to make it.

Quoting Anonymous:

Purposefully getting pregnant multiple times, knowing it will only result in misscariage is selfish.



Quoting terramarie:

Ummm how is a miscarriage selfish?





Quoting Anonymous:

Norther is murder but both are selfish.
Jlpmmom
by on Aug. 19, 2012 at 9:46 PM
I agree, my aunt had six miscarriages before she had my cousin. She fully expected the pregnancy to go all the way every time. That is completely different from abortion.


Quoting Anonymous:

No one can KNOW if a pregnancy will end in miscarriage. A mom who keeps trying is always hoping for one baby to make it.



Quoting Anonymous:

Purposefully getting pregnant multiple times, knowing it will only result in misscariage is selfish.





Quoting terramarie:

Ummm how is a miscarriage selfish?







Quoting Anonymous:

Norther is murder but both are selfish.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
startupscafe
by on Aug. 19, 2012 at 9:48 PM

It is spontaneous abortion.  It is a naturally-occuring issue.  It is not by choice and it is not by someone actually causing it to happen.  It is a horrible occurence when someone really desperately wants a baby.  It is not murder.

ashbrydio
by on Aug. 20, 2012 at 9:13 AM
:)

Quoting audreesmama:

This is my eighth pregnancy. I have one living child and am 38 weeks pregnant. I've had a stillbirth and multiple miscarriages. I continued trying because I wanted to have a baby. This pregnancy was completely unexpected. exDH and I tried for two years to have DD and eventually turned to IVF to get pregnant. I couldn't keep a baby no matter what I tried, but she survived. I also had a stillbirth at 33 weeks because of a cord issue. When exDH and I divorced, I never figured I would have more kids. I had so many issues and had to be on so many medications. I was on birth control this time, but DH and I still managed to get pregnant lol. Hasn't been a terrible pregnancy, but I have found out this time I have a clotting disorder, I am also diabetic and some other issues that certainly contributed to my losses. 

I really don't care what anyone else thinks. A miscarriage is accidental. I was told I had a 1 in 100 chance of carrying a baby to term...DD was born at 40 weeks 1 day. I took that chance. I deserve to be a mother, too.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 20, 2012 at 10:49 AM
My point was it's about intent for most of you, not about the death of a "baby "
Since the woman wants a child no one seems to care about what the "baby " goes through if her body is unable to sustain the pregnancy. Is that "baby " less innocent? Does it "feel " less pain when the body terminates the pregnancy? Or is it dying peacefully in it's sleep when the intent isn't there. I'm just confused on exactly what the prolife stance is about. They always seem to talk about how they are advocates for the "baby " but it seems more likely that this is more about moral judgement for the mother than advocating for a " baby "
audreesmama
by on Aug. 20, 2012 at 11:23 AM
1 mom liked this

You don't KNOW it will result in miscarriage. There's a chance. With any pregnancy, there is a chance. Should you never try to have a baby, because there is a chance?

http://www.americanpregnancy.org/pregnancycomplications/miscarriage.html

10-25% of all pregnancies will result in miscarriage. Therefore, if you have three healthy children with no issues and no prior losses, it's selfish to try for a fourth since the odds are not in your favor, correct? Should she try it all since there is up a 1 in 4 chance that the pregnancy will naturally terminate? A woman over 45has a 50% chance of miscarriage, so should she not try to have a child if she has one healthy child already, or even if she doesn't? The odds are not in her favor, either. If you're already screwed with 1 to 4 odds, or even 1 in 10 odds, how is it different? What if you have had a miscarriage and choose to try again...if you have a 1 in 4 chance of losing a child, and you already lost one, then doesn't math mean that the next will be successful?I play poker and I understand odds, but I don't understand believeing that a woman should not have the chance to have a child and be a mother just because she's already dealt with loss.

Have you ever buried a child? Have you ever had the aching womb and heart? Have you ever had to stare at an empty nursery, feel a void womb and empty arms, knowing that you made this for your child and he will never enjoy it? You see everyone else with their kids and all you want is to be a mother, but that's "selfish"? The pain of losing a child is unbearable. Every day you think of what you could be doing, what you want to be doing with your baby. When your breasts leak and there's no relief, you cry until you pass out. When you stare at the clothes and breathe in another person's baby's scent, you area jealous and angry, and hurt...and cry more. I've been through a lot, I was stationed in Iraq, Kuwait and Afghanistan. My husband cheated on me and left...I was raised without a mother and passed around to family members. I'm sure we all have issues and stories but to me, the worst thing I've ever been through is being 8 months "pregnant" without a second heartbeat inside of you. Carrying a dead child and having people ask when I'm due is a terrible thing. There has been no greater pain in my life than burying my child. Until you feel that, don't you dare feel like you deserve to judge me as selfish. Sweetheart, I'm stronger than you can imagine and I'm a damn good mother. If you see that as selfish, maybe you need help. 

I'm really glad IDGAF what people like yourself, who've never dealt with the pain, think. I wouldn't change my path for the world. My children, all of them, mean the world to me. I'm sorry you think it's selfish. I wish I had an easy road...just had sex, got knocked up, had a baby like most people. I would trade my "selfish" ways to be able to be in your shoes, honey. Trust me. Until you've been in mine, you really shouldn't act like you know what it's like.

Quoting Anonymous:

Purposefully getting pregnant multiple times, knowing it will only result in misscariage is selfish.

Quoting terramarie:

Ummm how is a miscarriage selfish?



Quoting Anonymous:

Norther is murder but both are selfish.


                                  


                                 

audreesmama
by on Aug. 20, 2012 at 11:31 AM

Are you SERIOUSLY suggesting that trying to have a baby, knowing there's a chance that child may not live (which is true in any pregnancy), is akin to getting knocked up knowing the consequences and then ending that child's live purposely? I'm pretty sure I must have misinterpreted you, because that's just fucking crazy. 

I don't understand how the hell you think you this has anything to do with prolife. You need to seek help. 

http://mommyish.com/pregnancy-health/my-abortion-was-a-procedure-my-miscarriage-a-loss-622/

Quoting Anonymous:

My point was it's about intent for most of you, not about the death of a "baby "
Since the woman wants a child no one seems to care about what the "baby " goes through if her body is unable to sustain the pregnancy. Is that "baby " less innocent? Does it "feel " less pain when the body terminates the pregnancy? Or is it dying peacefully in it's sleep when the intent isn't there. I'm just confused on exactly what the prolife stance is about. They always seem to talk about how they are advocates for the "baby " but it seems more likely that this is more about moral judgement for the mother than advocating for a " baby "


                                  


                                 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 10 on Aug. 20, 2012 at 6:00 PM
Feel better now?? Jesus, you got completely off point there...

Quoting audreesmama:

You don't KNOW it will result in miscarriage. There's a chance. With any pregnancy, there is a chance. Should you never try to have a baby, because there is a chance?

http://www.americanpregnancy.org/pregnancycomplications/miscarriage.html

10-25% of all pregnancies will result in miscarriage. Therefore, if you have three healthy children with no issues and no prior losses, it's selfish to try for a fourth since the odds are not in your favor, correct? Should she try it all since there is up a 1 in 4 chance that the pregnancy will naturally terminate? A woman over 45has a 50% chance of miscarriage, so should she not try to have a child if she has one healthy child already, or even if she doesn't? The odds are not in her favor, either. If you're already screwed with 1 to 4 odds, or even 1 in 10 odds, how is it different? What if you have had a miscarriage and choose to try again...if you have a 1 in 4 chance of losing a child, and you already lost one, then doesn't math mean that the next will be successful?I play poker and I understand odds, but I don't understand believeing that a woman should not have the chance to have a child and be a mother just because she's already dealt with loss.

Have you ever buried a child? Have you ever had the aching womb and heart? Have you ever had to stare at an empty nursery, feel a void womb and empty arms, knowing that you made this for your child and he will never enjoy it? You see everyone else with their kids and all you want is to be a mother, but that's "selfish"? The pain of losing a child is unbearable. Every day you think of what you could be doing, what you want to be doing with your baby. When your breasts leak and there's no relief, you cry until you pass out. When you stare at the clothes and breathe in another person's baby's scent, you area jealous and angry, and hurt...and cry more. I've been through a lot, I was stationed in Iraq, Kuwait and Afghanistan. My husband cheated on me and left...I was raised without a mother and passed around to family members. I'm sure we all have issues and stories but to me, the worst thing I've ever been through is being 8 months "pregnant" without a second heartbeat inside of you. Carrying a dead child and having people ask when I'm due is a terrible thing. There has been no greater pain in my life than burying my child. Until you feel that, don't you dare feel like you deserve to judge me as selfish. Sweetheart, I'm stronger than you can imagine and I'm a damn good mother. If you see that as selfish, maybe you need help. 

I'm really glad IDGAF what people like yourself, who've never dealt with the pain, think. I wouldn't change my path for the world. My children, all of them, mean the world to me. I'm sorry you think it's selfish. I wish I had an easy road...just had sex, got knocked up, had a baby like most people. I would trade my "selfish" ways to be able to be in your shoes, honey. Trust me. Until you've been in mine, you really shouldn't act like you know what it's like.


Quoting Anonymous:

Purposefully getting pregnant multiple times, knowing it will only result in misscariage is selfish.



Quoting terramarie:

Ummm how is a miscarriage selfish?





Quoting Anonymous:

Norther is murder but both are selfish.


audreesmama
by on Aug. 20, 2012 at 9:25 PM

Not at all--my point was not to pass judgement on others until you've been in their shoes. Know your facts before you open your trap.

You didn't have to read it, sweetie. You can always click that little 'x'. Works every time. 

Quoting Anonymous:

Feel better now?? Jesus, you got completely off point there... 

                                  


                                 

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