This lifelong fight is finally over. I give up, I loose this battle. I've tried and tried again, and I've failed, and failed again. I have nothing, literally nothing not even a home. I have done my best and still, nothing I loose everything. Why God hates me so much.. I'll never know, I doubt I'll meet him, if he's even real. They say he will never give you more than you can handle.. well I've had more than I can handle forever now.. it doesn't get easier it gets harder. So I am following in my father's foot steps more than I thought I would. Yes, this will make me a coward, and it is taking the easy way out.. but life will go on for everyone else and sooner than later they will get over it.. I guess this is just a way to make me feel like I let someone know so I don't feel as bad leaving :/ game over.