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Transgender men are real men

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I have seen a few posts about transgender people tonight. I have also seen some individuals try and say that a transgender man isn't a real man or is just a woman pretending to be a man. I just wanted to address that. Manhood is not defined by what is between one's legs. It is defined by how one acts and presents oneself. Just like womanhood is not defined by what is between one's legs and/or one's ability to birth children. It is defined by how one acts and presents oneself.

Now if you have questions, I will be more than glad to answer them. I am transgender myself and so is my wife. So I am very aware of the issues surrounding transgender men and transgender women (as well as the other non-binary transgender individuals).

Thank you for the support. And for clarification, I am a female to male individual and my wife is a male to female individual.

by on Aug. 22, 2012 at 8:03 PM
Replies (981-990):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 19, 2012 at 8:20 AM

How old are you and have you always felt this way? 

Quoting purpleducky:

My sex is female but my gender is male. I present myself as male. My driver's license has me as male.

My children love me like they always have. They don't say anything about it because it is normal to them. My mom has tried to tell me I am ruining my children and that I don't know what I am doing. My ILs and siblings (well except for my one sister) are accepting.

And it is a mental condition because it has been kept in the DSM due to the other issues (like violence, discrimination, bullying, etc.) that transgender individuals deal with. Plus therapy is required by many endos before HRT is started and it is required before surgery is done.

As for if there was a treatment to make me happy being a woman, I really dunno. So much of my life I have felt like a guy that I have no clue what it would be like to be a woman really.

Quoting billsfan1104:

So technically, you are still a woman? Just in your mind you are not?
What does your kids and other family member say?
I personally think its a mental condition, like body dysmorphic disorder. If they had medicines and treatments that would make you feel like a woman, would you do them?
Just wondering. I am glad that you are answering our questions.


Quoting purpleducky:

Correct.

Quoting billsfan1104:

Answer me this then. If you were murdered and lit on fire and burned recognition, when they do DNA tests, you will still be a woman, right?



 

purpleducky
by Ruby Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 8:24 AM
I am 25 and have always felt this way.

Quoting Anonymous:

How old are you and have you always felt this way? 


Quoting purpleducky:


My sex is female but my gender is male. I present myself as male. My driver's license has me as male.


My children love me like they always have. They don't say anything about it because it is normal to them. My mom has tried to tell me I am ruining my children and that I don't know what I am doing. My ILs and siblings (well except for my one sister) are accepting.


And it is a mental condition because it has been kept in the DSM due to the other issues (like violence, discrimination, bullying, etc.) that transgender individuals deal with. Plus therapy is required by many endos before HRT is started and it is required before surgery is done.


As for if there was a treatment to make me happy being a woman, I really dunno. So much of my life I have felt like a guy that I have no clue what it would be like to be a woman really.


Quoting billsfan1104:

So technically, you are still a woman? Just in your mind you are not?
What does your kids and other family member say?
I personally think its a mental condition, like body dysmorphic disorder. If they had medicines and treatments that would make you feel like a woman, would you do them?
Just wondering. I am glad that you are answering our questions.



Quoting purpleducky:


Correct.


Quoting billsfan1104:

Answer me this then. If you were murdered and lit on fire and burned recognition, when they do DNA tests, you will still be a woman, right?






 

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 19, 2012 at 8:30 AM

Sex and gender are most definitely not the same. What you've described below is the "sex" of the person. Gender is how one identifies themselves. A person can have "female" parts but still identify more as a male.

Just because forms incorrectly uses the term "sex" , it doesn't mean it's correct.

Gender falls on a continuum...one can be very masculine, very feminine or somewhere in between.


Quoting moneysaver6:

When a form asks for your "sex" it is asking which gender you are.  They are one in the same.

Quoting purpleducky:

That is sex, not gender. They are not the same.
Quoting moneysaver6:

We'll have to agree to disagree, then. It seems pretty simple and cut & dry to me.

-Men are born with a penis

-Women are born with a vagina



Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 19, 2012 at 8:48 AM

 And the ages of your children?

Quoting purpleducky:

I am 25 and have always felt this way.

Quoting Anonymous:

How old are you and have you always felt this way? 


Quoting purpleducky:


My sex is female but my gender is male. I present myself as male. My driver's license has me as male.


My children love me like they always have. They don't say anything about it because it is normal to them. My mom has tried to tell me I am ruining my children and that I don't know what I am doing. My ILs and siblings (well except for my one sister) are accepting.


And it is a mental condition because it has been kept in the DSM due to the other issues (like violence, discrimination, bullying, etc.) that transgender individuals deal with. Plus therapy is required by many endos before HRT is started and it is required before surgery is done.


As for if there was a treatment to make me happy being a woman, I really dunno. So much of my life I have felt like a guy that I have no clue what it would be like to be a woman really.


Quoting billsfan1104:

So technically, you are still a woman? Just in your mind you are not?
What does your kids and other family member say?
I personally think its a mental condition, like body dysmorphic disorder. If they had medicines and treatments that would make you feel like a woman, would you do them?
Just wondering. I am glad that you are answering our questions.



Quoting purpleducky:


Correct.


Quoting billsfan1104:

Answer me this then. If you were murdered and lit on fire and burned recognition, when they do DNA tests, you will still be a woman, right?






 

 

purpleducky
by Ruby Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 8:48 AM
6 and 3.

Quoting Anonymous:

 And the ages of your children?


Quoting purpleducky:

I am 25 and have always felt this way.


Quoting Anonymous:


How old are you and have you always felt this way? 



Quoting purpleducky:



My sex is female but my gender is male. I present myself as male. My driver's license has me as male.



My children love me like they always have. They don't say anything about it because it is normal to them. My mom has tried to tell me I am ruining my children and that I don't know what I am doing. My ILs and siblings (well except for my one sister) are accepting.



And it is a mental condition because it has been kept in the DSM due to the other issues (like violence, discrimination, bullying, etc.) that transgender individuals deal with. Plus therapy is required by many endos before HRT is started and it is required before surgery is done.



As for if there was a treatment to make me happy being a woman, I really dunno. So much of my life I have felt like a guy that I have no clue what it would be like to be a woman really.



Quoting billsfan1104:

So technically, you are still a woman? Just in your mind you are not?
What does your kids and other family member say?
I personally think its a mental condition, like body dysmorphic disorder. If they had medicines and treatments that would make you feel like a woman, would you do them?
Just wondering. I am glad that you are answering our questions.




Quoting purpleducky:



Correct.



Quoting billsfan1104:

Answer me this then. If you were murdered and lit on fire and burned recognition, when they do DNA tests, you will still be a woman, right?









 


 

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
moneysaver6
by on Nov. 20, 2012 at 2:51 PM

LOL  No.  I am disagreeing with YOU.  I know it's sometimes hard to accept that people disagree with us and that no matter how hard we try we can't change their minds.  It really is okay for people to disagree with you, though.  See, part of my disagreement with you is that this is not a psychological issue, but a physical one.  You disagree with me.  That's okay.   I can recognize that we need to agree to disagree because neither of us will change how the other believes.  And that's okay.

It really is okay to come to a place where you recognize that you cannot change the mind of another person and that the two of you will just have to agree to disagree.  It doesn't mean that either of you is ignoring any science.  It just means that the two of you have looked at the evidence and come to different conculsions.  And that's okay.  It really is.  I promise.

Quoting purpleducky:

Then you are disagreeing with psychology.
Quoting moneysaver6:

I highlighted it in red below and for your reference, here it is again: 

I do not agree with you.  Nothing you say will convince me.  That's okay.  We can agree to disagree.

Quoting purpleducky:

They are not one in the same.

Quoting moneysaver6:

When a form asks for your "sex" it is asking which gender you are.  They are one in the same.

Quoting purpleducky:

That is sex, not gender. They are not the same.
Quoting moneysaver6:

We'll have to agree to disagree, then. It seems pretty simple and cut & dry to me.

-Men are born with a penis

-Women are born with a vagina


moneysaver6
by on Nov. 20, 2012 at 2:53 PM

I highlighted it in red below for you as well.  We will clearly have to agree to disagree.

Quoting Anonymous:

Sex and gender are most definitely not the same.

Quoting moneysaver6:

When a form asks for your "sex" it is asking which gender you are.  They are one in the same.

Quoting purpleducky:

That is sex, not gender. They are not the same.
Quoting moneysaver6:

We'll have to agree to disagree, then. It seems pretty simple and cut & dry to me.

-Men are born with a penis

-Women are born with a vagina


Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 20, 2012 at 2:53 PM
So if u r technically a man... then u really shouldn't be on this site. right???
this is for moms... u r a man... so?????
purpleducky
by Ruby Member on Nov. 20, 2012 at 2:54 PM
No you are disagreeing with psychology too since psychology states that gender and sex are different things.

Quoting moneysaver6:

LOL  No.  I am disagreeing with YOU.  I know it's sometimes hard to accept that people disagree with us and that no matter how hard we try we can't change their minds.  It really is okay for people to disagree with you, though.  See, part of my disagreement with you is that this is not a psychological issue, but a physical one.  You disagree with me.  That's okay.   I can recognize that we need to agree to disagree because neither of us will change how the other believes.  And that's okay.

It really is okay to come to a place where you recognize that you cannot change the mind of another person and that the two of you will just have to agree to disagree.  It doesn't mean that either of you is ignoring any science.  It just means that the two of you have looked at the evidence and come to different conculsions.  And that's okay.  It really is.  I promise.

Quoting purpleducky:

Then you are disagreeing with psychology.

Quoting moneysaver6:

I highlighted it in red below and for your reference, here it is again: 

I do not agree with you.  Nothing you say will convince me.  That's okay.  We can agree to disagree.

Quoting purpleducky:

They are not one in the same.

Quoting moneysaver6:

When a form asks for your "sex" it is asking which gender you are.  They are one in the same.

Quoting purpleducky:

That is sex, not gender. They are not the same.

Quoting moneysaver6:

We'll have to agree to disagree, then. It seems pretty simple and cut & dry to me.


-Men are born with a penis


-Women are born with a vagina


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
purpleducky
by Ruby Member on Nov. 20, 2012 at 2:54 PM
Mom and man are not mutually exclusive.

Quoting Anonymous:

So if u r technically a man... then u really shouldn't be on this site. right???

this is for moms... u r a man... so?????
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
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