People do not CHOOSE to be poor. (long)
- 47 Replies
When my husband and I first got married, we were on top of the world. He had an amazing job that paid almost $20 an hour and I ran a daycare business in our home for people he worked with. We easily brought in $1000 a week. We were buying our own home and our credit was perfect.
I started infertility treatments after two years of trying. We made plenty of money to afford the treatments and to afford a baby when the time came. I was not expecting to be so sick my entire pregnancy. I spent most of the 9 months in the hospital. My husband used up all of his sick days and vacation days to be with me as much as possible. There were times he thought I was dying. He went over his attendance points because he did not know he was close to them being gone. He was fired.
We went from $1000 a week to $300 just like that. With a new baby, that just was not going to do it. We had to apply for foodstamps and medical assistance plus WIC. It was the most embarassing thing I've ever done. We lost our home to foreclosure and moved in with his parents. He found a new job but it did not pay nearly as well as his previous job. We eventually got off of PA and got back up on our feet.
We were living paycheck to paycheck though and it sucked. Three years later DH lost his job again. He got unemployement but it ran out after a while. We had to get back on PA.
Let me tell you, no one CHOOSES this kind of life. No one WANTS to be "poor." I'd have laughed in your face if you would have told me I would ever have to get help. The women at the WIC office make you feel like a piece of shit all for a coupon that lets you get milk, cereal, juice and peanut butter. You have to take this classes about how to be healthy and they make you feel like an idiot. I had to answer true or false questions like "Is it healthier for your child to watch cartoons or play outside?" I kid you not. Whenever you walk into the welfare office the women sit behind their glass and just look at you like you are trash.
Let's not even get started on whipping out your foodstamp card in the grocery store! I absolutely HATE this life. There are no jobs that pay as well as DH used to make before. He works now for a temp service that pays $9 an hour. I'm currently going to school. I read these PA posts on here and yes I realize there are people who "abuse" the system. My question is WHY? Why would anyone WANT to live this way? Why would you want the whole world judging you and treating you like shit because you're in a rough place in your life? DH and I are doing everything we can to get off PA again and have a normal life.
Nothing is guaranteed in life. I would not consider $20 an hour an amazing amount of pay for a job. It is good but not near amazing. With two incomes you may have been comfortable but certainly no more than that.
I am assuming you did not go to college and while this does not always mean more money but it usually does. I'm sorry you are going through such a hard time but I have to wonder why your husband didn't realize he was using up all of his chances to miss work. Most people know those things.
You did not choose to be poor but you certainly could have done things differently. I hope you get back on your feet financially soon.
Quoting Anonymous:
"amazing" jobs generally pay more than $20 p/h.
$20/hr is amazing if you do not have a college degree
I am definite for public assistance. For one, kids would be in foster care without it. For two, it is good to know that if my hubby loses his job we'll be okay. For three, alot of grocery stores would be out of business without it, as well as social workersand everyone who works for the welfare system (secretary, cleaning person for the welfare office, etc)
I made 95/hr before having baby #3 and dh makes about 70/hr both good but not "amazing" my ex is a lawyer and makes 287/hr! To me that's amazing lol
are you ok with another woman calling your husband "hun" or "babe"