I hate that my SO has been married before. I never have and I feel like his moments with me won't be as cherished because I'm his second. I also hate that his mother sends his ex-wife presents for Christmas. She also sent the ex-wife emails while we were there visiting from several states away. Can't she just enjoy her time with us?
I've thought about leaving him several times because of these situations. I love him, but it hurts so much and I don't know what to do. I never envisioned my life this way.
EDIT: Everyone is assuming I'm married to my SO. I am his fiance, not his wife. I'm trying to decide what I should do about the way I feel before I ever get married.
I'm my husband's second wife and there have been times when I felt crappy because I knew he had done something with her first. But then I think of all the things we've done together for the first time and none of that other stuff matters.
As for his mother giving the ex gifts- that would irritate me too. Does she or you husband know that it bothers you?
I understand how you feel but you need realize that he loves you not her, My husbands EX wife still comes around to all the family events and we all talk all the time hell my mil is throwing us a joint baby shower this yr since we are due two weeks apart. She is pretty awesome but you know what I AM TO. It will be ok just look at what you have and talk to your hubby about how you are feeling and I am sure he will tell you the same thing I am.
Quoting Dzyre1115:I get that, it's why I married a man that had no ex wives and no children. I could not handle that kind of situation!
You think about leaving him because you are not MIL's favorite? If he didn't cherish and love you, you wouldn't be in his life now.... 2cd marriage? Probably means he doesn't want BS anymore... So you must make him happy if all is well.
I haven't said anything to her yet, but I have to him. He understands but doesn't know how to get his mother to stop. He says the whole time he was with his ex-wife that his mom never liked her, but now she's sending presents. He said his mother even told him not to marry her but he stupidly didn't listen. It makes no sense to him nor I as to why she is doing these things now.
I feel like threatening her that she will never see her future grandchildren if she keeps it up. But I don't know if that is the right thing to do really. I just want her to stop.
Quoting Anonymous:I'm my husband's second wife and there have been times when I felt crappy because I knew he had done something with her first. But then I think of all the things we've done together for the first time and none of that other stuff matters.
As for his mother giving the ex gifts- that would irritate me too. Does she or you husband know that it bothers you?
As far as MIL, there's really nothing you can do about her behavior. She can do what she wants when she wants. What you can do is control your feelings about it.
Understand you are the wife because he wants you to be the wife and that's all that matters. You're a lovable person and that's why he loves you! Focus on that. Find a mantra you can recite to yourself when you feel that ugly green monster coming out. Hugs!
I could never do that. You're much stronger than I am. I'm glad she isn't invited to family functions.
Quoting Anonymous:I understand how you feel but you need realize that he loves you not her, My husbands EX wife still comes around to all the family events and we all talk all the time hell my mil is throwing us a joint baby shower this yr since we are due two weeks apart. She is pretty awesome but you know what I AM TO. It will be ok just look at what you have and talk to your hubby about how you are feeling and I am sure he will tell you the same thing I am.
They are trying to ban buying soda from FS
Do you REGRET having kids