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I wish it would stop being thrown in my face!

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 43 Replies

I have recently decided to choose very carefully the family members I choose to let into my life, and how often we have contact. 

My Grandma is someone I have a weird relationship with but none the less, I love her, she raised me more than my Mom, and she helps TONS with the kids, or if I need financial help. We honestly really wouldnt have what we have without her. Im improving everyday to make it to where I canhelp them back financially. 

Im just so sick of the negative crap she says. ALL THE TIME. She says Im jealous of her, that I need to try harder (Im about to be going to school AND working full time, I dont know how much harder I could try!)  and that I wouldnt survive without her.  She puts down my parenting, ect ect.  Sometimes I do get an attitude or snarky with her because it makes me mad.

However, my mother stole Grandmas credit card and ran it up to where Grandma and Grandpa had to take a 50,000 dollar loan out on the house to pay the debt. My cousin steals their pain killers, and makes synthetic drugs in his house with his daughter. His daughter has had lice for a year and a half, came over with a soaking through diaper to where the carpet was wet when I went to chang her.  The list could go on of people who take advantage of them.

But yet, Im the bad person, Im the one whos mean.   My kids love Grandma, and she loves them and I cant fathom not having herin my life, but no matter what I do she puts me down.  I will admit that I dont know what Id do without her, but the way she said it, and the context she said it in really bothered me. And we got in an argument.

I could survive easily without her. We do okay without her know, its just when unexpected things come up I know that I can go to her,without havig to stress where this or that will come from.  I just dont know what to do. :/ Im just so hurt that I pretty much dont have anyone, and then she like rubs it in my face and acts like its an inconvenience that she "needs" to be there for us because she feels that I "need her". 

Posted by Anonymous on Sep. 1, 2012 at 10:55 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Sep. 1, 2012 at 11:01 AM

bump

tina08mommy
by Gold Member on Sep. 1, 2012 at 11:03 AM
Bump
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Mackenzie40
by Platinum Member on Sep. 1, 2012 at 11:04 AM

time for you to start "stressing" , don't like the criticism then stop mooching off her and stand on your own. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Sep. 1, 2012 at 11:04 AM
When people help you out financially they always have an opinion on how you should live your life.
Dzyre1115
by Desiree` on Sep. 1, 2012 at 11:05 AM
1 mom liked this

 She has that leverage because you give it to her.....live independently!

LilyofPhilly
by Platinum Member on Sep. 1, 2012 at 11:05 AM
No one can make you feel bad about yourself without your permission.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Sep. 1, 2012 at 11:06 AM


Quoting Mackenzie40:

time for you to start "stressing" , don't like the criticism then stop mooching off her and stand on your own. 

I am by far not "mooching" off of them. They volunteer. And I always end up paying them back.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Sep. 1, 2012 at 11:07 AM


Quoting LilyofPhilly:

No one can make you feel bad about yourself without your permission.

I know. Im in therapy to gain self confidence, and to help me with all of this.. Im trying.. really hard!

Mackenzie40
by Platinum Member on Sep. 1, 2012 at 11:09 AM


Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting Mackenzie40:

time for you to start "stressing" , don't like the criticism then stop mooching off her and stand on your own. 

I am by far not "mooching" off of them. They volunteer. And I always end up paying them back.

they "volunteer" that's hysterical !! So what ? You can say NO .

and comparing yourself to others who are making shit choices doesn't mean you are making great choices.

If you didn't look better then someone making dope in their home , that would be pretty sad , pathetic etc.. Your entire family sounds extremely dysfunctional and if I were you I would do everything I could to be completely financially independent from them. - Don't see it the same way as me ? that's fine , then keep doing what you are doing.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Sep. 1, 2012 at 11:10 AM

Because she had such a major role in your upbringing she expects more from you than the other losers in the family. That's why she's being a bitch.

What did she say when you told her the negativity hurt your feelings?

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