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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I could really use your help (kinda long, sorry) update

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 165 Replies
I have a very unique issue that I need some help with. I know this sounds farfetched, but bear with me please.

I was in an accident a month and a half ago and in a medically induced coma for two weeks. I woke up with amnesia (I know, I know, cue eyerolling and comments about me trolling now). I guess now I'm married and we have a 9 month old son. I don't remember any of this. I remember snippets here and there about my son and husband, but not much. I don't remember meeting him, dating him, getting married, being pregnant, giving birth... nothing. But I've been getting closer with my son and things are fine there.

The problem I'm having is with this man. I'm having a very difficult time being intimate with him, even though he's my husband. I feel like I don't know him (which I don't, really, but you know what I mean). He's nice though and I'm sure he's a good person if I was willing to marry him. The thing is, I believe women should be intimate with their husbands, but it doesn't FEEL like he's my husband. He's a nice guy and hasn't brought it up, but in a way I feel like I'm depriving him of his right as a married man. I feel bad that I haven't been able to have sex with him yet, but I get all nervous and shaky and sick to my stomach just thinking about it, and I think part of it is because I feel obligated, you know?

So what is your advice? Wait (possibly months) until I'm more comfortable, or 'fake it til you make it'? I've considered the possibility that maybe just sucking it up and doing it might kind of help force my feelings for him and maybe even possibly help me remember him better and remember being in love with him, but... I've been too chicken to try so far. So, what do you think?




For those asking, I joined after I got out of the hospital, I didn't "remember CafeMom". I don't know if I had an account before, but I made one to get help with the baby.



Update, for anyone that cares: a few of you had suggested dating again to get to know each other, and I thought it was a good idea. Apparently he thought it was a good idea too, because he suggested it before I even had a chance to bring it up. He had asked about it on another website and that's what was told to him too.

Anyway, things are going okay. I'm still have trouble remembering things and bonding with the baby and we haven't had sex yet, but therapy and the support group are helping a lot, and even though I still don't feel quite like myself, at least I'm a little less uncomfortable now than I was. So, thank you for all your help and suggestions. I'm going to bed now.
Posted by Anonymous on Sep. 4, 2012 at 1:56 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 4, 2012 at 2:01 PM
Bump?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 4, 2012 at 2:04 PM
Also- if I do it, how do I go about it? I've obviously slept with him before, but I can only remember being with another man before, and we only had sex twice, so needless to say I'm inexperienced.... I just don't know what to do. :/
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Sep. 4, 2012 at 2:05 PM
Try counseling? Maybe it will help.
jennsmith326
by on Sep. 4, 2012 at 2:07 PM
2 moms liked this

 Just do it.... get it over with. Maybe you will like it.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Sep. 4, 2012 at 2:09 PM
11 moms liked this

So you don't remember you husband or child but you remember this website as well as your username and password? I am confused.

anyotherday
by Ruby Member on Sep. 4, 2012 at 2:09 PM
5 moms liked this

Doesn't remember how/when she became a wife and mother


Knows CafeMom like the back of her hand


*snickerlaugh*

anyotherday
by Ruby Member on Sep. 4, 2012 at 2:10 PM


Quoting Anonymous:

So you don't remember you husband or child but you remember this website as well as your username and password? I am confused.

Jinx... owe me a coke

Sassy762
by CAFE SASSY HBIC on Sep. 4, 2012 at 2:10 PM
3 moms liked this

image

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Sep. 4, 2012 at 2:12 PM

Have you gone to therapy? How do you remember this site, your password and stuff etc?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Sep. 4, 2012 at 2:13 PM
1 mom liked this

seek counseling for yourself and maybe your husband. Ask him to date you again?  Maybe recreate dates to see if it helps-at the very least hopefully you'll feel closer to him again.

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