My son brought home a form to join the Boy Scouts and was all excited about it.
It just about broke his little heart when I said no. He asked why and the convo went something like this:
Me: Do you know what a Homosexual person is?
Him: No
Me: That is when two boys or two girls love each other, like Daddy and I love each other.
Him: Oh! Like T and T (a friend of mine in a lesbian relationship that he knows)
Me: Yes, exactly. The Boy Scouts don't think that people like that should be allowed to be part of their club and are against people like them getting married.
Him: Why?
Me: I don't know, son.....'cause they think it's wrong.
Him: But it's not, Mommy. People should be able to marry who they want. T and T should be allowed to get married and things like that.
Me: I agree, kiddo
Him: I don't want to be part of a group that doesn't like everyone.
Made me proud, I gotta say.
ETA
Here's my amazing little man! He's 8 and in 3rd grade!
EDIT 2
Okay, I'm not teaching him hate! I informed him why I wouldn't allow him to join, because it goes against what I want to teach my son. I never said ANYTHING to him about hating them. I just expained why I didn't want him to join. I never said that everyone is like that, in the least.
The leaders in my area are OPEN against their dislike of the gay community. They've spoken out against it and it's not something I want for my son. I told him why I wouldn't let him participate and he agreed with me. Not once, though, did I tell him to hate them. He asked if he could still be friends with his friends that ARE in the scouts and I said absolutely. I just don't agree with their stance on a topic that is very near and dear to me.
On June 7, 2012, a BSA press release stated:
The BSA policy is: “While the BSA does not proactively inquire about the sexual orientation of employees, volunteers, or members, we do not grant membership to individuals who are open or avowed homosexuals or who engage in behavior that would become a distraction to the mission of the BSA.”
Quoting jas_momof2:Makes plenty of sense. The founder, for one, was in England and is dead. The BSA is not governed by 1 individual, but by several. And you can't change people's minds by ignoring the problem thinking they will just go away. You infiltrate, "make rank" and change things from within. Anyone can be a den leader. Teach tolerance. Anyone can take the training and take a district position. Teach tolerance. Work your way up to the top or close to the top.
Beats sitting on your ass whining about how stuipd the organization is when it's not.
Quoting nontoxic007:
umm what said made little since because that narrow minded idiot is the head/founder of the BSA not just some troop leader.
Quoting jas_momof2:Totally depends on the troop. My son is almost an Eagle and for the past 10 years I have never heard anyone mention anything about sexual orientation.
In fact, when the latest news hit, our troop only reiterated the fact everyone was welcome. Sometimes you can't just judge the ENTIRE program based on what some narrow minded idiots think. Get in there and change it.
Quoting nontoxic007:
No but if they suspect at any time that one of their members is gay they are no longer welcomed
Quoting jas_momof2:What is there to lie about? No where in any application does it ask you your sexual orientation...
Quoting nontoxic007:
I don't know if the application pedigree has changed but when I "tried" to sign you my girl for GS in 2002 It asked our religion on the app even though my kids were Christians (at that time) I was not so I put no religion on the app. The lady said I would recieve their hand books and such in the mail. After it didn't show I called, the lady that I talked to took my information and put me on hold. She returned and said sorry we don't have any applications on file for either of your children. So I said ok I'll fill out another one. She replied we are all full and hung up before could say anything. This bothered me a lot! I could not figure out why this was. I went a reapplied withouttelling them about the first time and it happened again! They "lost" my apps again. This made it apparent it was me. after I looked into it further I found they don't deal with non-religious people. This was very sad 'cause my girls were/are big nature lovers and super respectful. So the GS really are the ones that missed out.
So I guess you would have lie to get inside which as soon as they were aware you'd be kicked to the curb. The only thing that will change it is for people to be aware of BS "values" and spread the word so they can't put that seed of inequaility and hate in our mind's heart.
Quoting jas_momof2:This is EXACTLY what I was saying. You want change? You join and change things. You don't sit on your ass and say "oh, they're wrong"...
what a shame. What a missed opportunity for the op.
Quoting Anonymous:Holy Crapola! My husband is an Executive for the BSA and I'm reading him some of this. He wants me to tell you this:
He commends you for standing up for your beliefs. He believes that the organization will change their policy on this topic in his lifetime. And he also wants you to know that the BSA, as a whole, is not in the sex education business. He understands (and works with some) that there are homophobic troops. There is really nothing you can do about that except change it from the inside. Anyone can say they want to start a troop, and with enough registered kids, make it happen. This is why some are much more centered around religion than others.
Things are changing. In the 40's, the camps were set up for white kids to do their thing for so many weeks and then they had "negro camp" (this was the actual wording). It takes time to change things that have been set in (religious) stone for centuries. We have only gotten womens rights, abolished slavery, ended segregation etc in a little over 100 years. There will be a time for sexual equality...it just isn't this year. (My words, not my husband's)
I know what their mission states. I think you're missing my point or I'm not explaining it very well. One of the best ways to change something is to do so by working your way into the system and making small changes from within. Boycotting the scouts is doing nothing.
Quoting nontoxic007:
Sorry I was not clear in my statement. Yes I know the oranginal founder is dead but the foundation of his beliefs are upheld by the council.
On June 7, 2012, a BSA press release stated:
The BSA policy is: “While the BSA does not proactively inquire about the sexual orientation of employees, volunteers, or members, we do not grant membership to individuals who are open or avowed homosexuals or who engage in behavior that would become a distraction to the mission of the BSA.”
Quoting jas_momof2:Makes plenty of sense. The founder, for one, was in England and is dead. The BSA is not governed by 1 individual, but by several. And you can't change people's minds by ignoring the problem thinking they will just go away. You infiltrate, "make rank" and change things from within. Anyone can be a den leader. Teach tolerance. Anyone can take the training and take a district position. Teach tolerance. Work your way up to the top or close to the top.
Beats sitting on your ass whining about how stuipd the organization is when it's not.
Quoting nontoxic007:
umm what said made little since because that narrow minded idiot is the head/founder of the BSA not just some troop leader.
Quoting jas_momof2:Totally depends on the troop. My son is almost an Eagle and for the past 10 years I have never heard anyone mention anything about sexual orientation.
In fact, when the latest news hit, our troop only reiterated the fact everyone was welcome. Sometimes you can't just judge the ENTIRE program based on what some narrow minded idiots think. Get in there and change it.
Quoting nontoxic007:
No but if they suspect at any time that one of their members is gay they are no longer welcomed
Quoting jas_momof2:What is there to lie about? No where in any application does it ask you your sexual orientation...
Quoting nontoxic007:
I don't know if the application pedigree has changed but when I "tried" to sign you my girl for GS in 2002 It asked our religion on the app even though my kids were Christians (at that time) I was not so I put no religion on the app. The lady said I would recieve their hand books and such in the mail. After it didn't show I called, the lady that I talked to took my information and put me on hold. She returned and said sorry we don't have any applications on file for either of your children. So I said ok I'll fill out another one. She replied we are all full and hung up before could say anything. This bothered me a lot! I could not figure out why this was. I went a reapplied withouttelling them about the first time and it happened again! They "lost" my apps again. This made it apparent it was me. after I looked into it further I found they don't deal with non-religious people. This was very sad 'cause my girls were/are big nature lovers and super respectful. So the GS really are the ones that missed out.
So I guess you would have lie to get inside which as soon as they were aware you'd be kicked to the curb. The only thing that will change it is for people to be aware of BS "values" and spread the word so they can't put that seed of inequaility and hate in our mind's heart.
Quoting jas_momof2:This is EXACTLY what I was saying. You want change? You join and change things. You don't sit on your ass and say "oh, they're wrong"...
what a shame. What a missed opportunity for the op.
Quoting Anonymous:Holy Crapola! My husband is an Executive for the BSA and I'm reading him some of this. He wants me to tell you this:
He commends you for standing up for your beliefs. He believes that the organization will change their policy on this topic in his lifetime. And he also wants you to know that the BSA, as a whole, is not in the sex education business. He understands (and works with some) that there are homophobic troops. There is really nothing you can do about that except change it from the inside. Anyone can say they want to start a troop, and with enough registered kids, make it happen. This is why some are much more centered around religion than others.
Things are changing. In the 40's, the camps were set up for white kids to do their thing for so many weeks and then they had "negro camp" (this was the actual wording). It takes time to change things that have been set in (religious) stone for centuries. We have only gotten womens rights, abolished slavery, ended segregation etc in a little over 100 years. There will be a time for sexual equality...it just isn't this year. (My words, not my husband's)
Quoting Anonymous:
Well, if that is the case, I shouldnt be an American Citizen because I dont always agree with the president.
Get a fkin life lady! The boy scouts represent SOO manye incredible and positive things. They focus on good moral values and helping others.
It is not like they preach about Gays!
As a matter of fact, i have a friend who was an Eagle Scout and Gay! He didnt officially come out until a few years later but he had NO IDEA that they didn't welcome gays. I asked him if he regretted being in the boy scouts and he told me no! "I really enjoyed camping, obstacle courses, and earning merritt badges with my brothers and my dad. If i have am fortunate to adopt a son one day, I will definitely make sure he is in boyscouts"
Interesting how you assume things! They are in NO WAY hateful so it is a shame that you are teaching your son that boy scouts are bad people.
I think that scouts is a great organizaiton and the reason that it has such opinions is because its governing body is run by mormons and there is a great influence of catholics as well. So really your beef should be with Mormons and Catholics and not your local boy scout troop. I cannot think of a better organizaiton that my son's are involved with and to deny them alll of what they are learning because of the overarching geverning body has been hijacked by the political right.
Check out your local trooo you may be surprised. I am sure that you would be happy to have your son grow up to be like Zach Wahls who spoke to the Oklahoma legistalture about gay marriage and being raised by two moms. He is also a Unitarian and an Eagle scout who is fighting to force the scouts to change theiir ways. http://www.advocate.com/business/2012/09/20/zach-wahls-asks-intel-stop-funding-discriminatory-boy-scouts
I've got a Junior Girl Scout and a Cub Scout. I'm a Girl Scout leader and we have to have parent signatures to discuss any potentially controversial topics. The Girl Scout stance is to not discriminate. Since they are more open, they get flack from conservative groups. You just can't please everyone.
As for the Boy Scouts, I have never seen a leader openly discuss the policy with the boys. Obviously, the older ones must know. I figure my son is smart and will be able to take in all the information and make an informed choice. We go to a very liberal church and believe it is not our place to judge others.
Have you thought about joining an alternate group or starting one? GL!
Why are you living in a community that so much does not support your values. You are raising you children in a very toxic environment and if I were you I would move out of there as fast as possible. There are other places that will more support your values and then you will be able to more participate in the community and be able to use them as a resource to help raise your children.
Being a SAHM for the past 5 yrs has made me
- wittyscreenname
on Sep. 5, 2012 at 5:13 PM