Here's a little breakdown for some of the ladies that might not know how things work around here.
Have a job? Damn, you don't take care of your kids! Make a lot of money? You're a liar. Don't make a lot of money? Why didn't you go to school dummy? Went to school? You don't need to go to school to get a good job, DUH!
Don't work? Your house better be perfect, or you're lazy. You better not be on PA, or you're worthless and lazy. Your kids are at school all day? You obviously do nothing. Your kids are home all day? Why can't you get stuff done?
The breakdown? Work or don't work, you suck.
You have great kids? You're a liar. You have bad kids? You're a bad parent. You're protective? Damn, stop being so uptight! You're more relaxed? Damn, don't you care about something happening to your kids? You don't discipline your kids? Stop raising little brats! You do discipline your kids? Someone call CPS!
Using daycare? Take care of your own kids, damn you're lazy! Don't use daycare? Use daycare and get a job, damn you're lazy!
One kid? Sad, no siblings to love. Multiple kids? Damn, stop having kids!
Homeschool? You're so lazy, stop keeping your kids at home and send them to school! Public school? You obviously don't care about your kids education.
Single mom? Stop bitching, you got yourself into this mess! Not a single mom? Stop bitching, be grateful you're not a single mom!
Involved stepmom? Bitch those are my kids, don't you take care of them! Not involved? Why aren't you taking care of my kids, you married their daddy! Stepmom dealing with a birth mother? Birth mother be CRAZY. Birth mother dealing with a stepmom? Stepmom is a bitch!
Breastfeeding? The simple act that you've chosen to breastfeed is judgmental because I don't! Don't breastfeed? Damn, your so selfish, don't you know breast is best?
Co sleep? So dangerous, your baby is gonna die! Don't co sleep? Don't you care about being close to your kid!
Vaccinate? Stop pumping your kids full of drugs, they're gonna die! Don't vaccinate? Damn, don't you care that your kid could get some horrible disease my kid's been vaccinated against and die!
Had kids young? You're obviously a slut. Waited to have kids? Who cares, don't judge us because we didn't wait!
Can't have kids? Damn, why are you on Cafemom? Don't you know you're not supposed to be having them? Go pick one up at your local adoption agency and quit bitching!
CPS? These supermoms have them on speed dial, and they're calling right now because your kid had Mickey D's for lunch.
Car seats? Doesn't even matter, you're doing it wrong, all the kids are gonna die.
The breakdown? No matter what you do, you're doing it wrong.
Your husband helps out around the house? Damn your lazy, don't you know he works and you need to do everything else that needs to get done? Strap on that apron and get to it Suzy homemaker!
Your hubby does nice things for you? He obviously feels guilty because he's cheating. All the Cafemom hubbies be steppin out bitch!
Your husband is lazy and doesn't do crap for you? Stop being a doormat, stand up for yourself, get some self respect, don't marry such a lazy piece of crap!
Not giving the hubby sex everytime he wants it? Damn, you're a manipuative bitch. Just leave if you don't want sex every day, sheesh!
Hubby not giving you sex whenever you want it? He's cheating, kick him out.
Anybody claims a medical condition that may relate to no sex? Bitch please.
You guys have friends of the opposite sex? Someone's cheating! Don't have friends of the opposite sex? You're so controlling.
DIvorced? You should have worked harder, you're gonna screw up your kids. Stayed and worked through your problems? Damn you're dumb/once a cheater always a cheater/you're a doormat/don't say we didn't warn you/don't you have any self respect?
The breakdown? Get some lawyers, because everybody up in here is gonna need a divorce.
Fat? You're lazy, lose some weight.
Skinny? You're a bitch, don't you know you're just putting the fat women down by talking about being skinny.
Workout a lot? No one cares, get out of here with all that bragging!
Don't workout? You're lazy, don't you care about your health?
Medical condition? Bitch please.
Pretty? Damn, you're not nearly as pretty as you think you are, quit looking for attention!
Ugly? Damn, get some self esteem, stop looking for people to tell you you're not ugly!
Lots of makeup? Damn, don't you know you look like a clown?
No makeup? Damn, don't you care about looking nice?
Dress up? All you care about is looks.
Dress down? Damn, don't you care about your looks at all?
Expensive clothes? Why the hell do you pay that much!
Cheap clothes? GROSS, don't you have enough money to buy some nicer clothes!
The breakdown? We're all attention seeking bitches no matter what we do.
Have a lot? You're a liar.
Don't have enough? You're a failure.
Flaunt it? You're obviously liying.
Don't flaunt it? DUH, we already knew you didn't have any!
The breakdown? Doesn't matter around here sweetcheeks, either you're a broke bitch or you're a broke bitch pretending to be a rich bitch.
Believe in God? Don't talk about that shit, I don't believe in God and it offends me! Don't believe in God? Don't talk about that shit, I believe in God and it offends me!
Tolerance? Bitch please
The breakdown? Just believe in unicorns, bitches love unicorns.
You're voting for Obama? Don't you care about the economy? Romney has money and money fixes everything. You're voting for Romney? Don't you have a uterus? Romney hates your uterus bitch! You're not voting? You bitches are ruining the world.
You're on PA? You are such a failure! Can't provide for your family? Get on PA! Too prideful to get on PA? Do what you have to do to feed your kids, damn! Doing what you have to do to feed your kids? Still a failure!
The breakdown? Who the hell knows, just keep believing in the unicorns.
The moral of the story? Everybody is failing. No one does anything right. The end.