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Last night DH put the moves on me for the first time in a month. After we started touching and kissing, he told me that my breath was awful. I had just brushed my teeth and that really hurt my feelings.
I just started crying. He hardly ever touches me any more. I feel undesireable. I am 5'4" and weigh 158lbs, am still about 20 lbs heavier than I was before I got pregnant with our 18 month old, have saggy breasts and belly covered in stretchmarks. I am almost 40 and not feeling young or pretty anymore. The last thing I needed was to feel like I had bad breath too.
I explained to him that I feel unattractive because he never wants me any more.... and the key to my feeling sexy is being desiredby him. He seems to think that there is something mentally wrong with me... and that I should feel sexy "just because". He believes that most women just feel beautiful naturally.
I disagree. I think that most women feel sexy because they see that other people find them attractive. They feel men looking at them, admiring them, checking them out etc... I think that as a woman, if you don't get any positive feedback on your appearance, you tend to feel ugly, old, undesireable etc.
He says I need to have good self-esteem. I do have good self esteem when it comes to other things, Im smart, funny, loving, sweet, hardworking and talented. But when it comes to my physical being... I just feel unattractive and undesireable.
QUESTION IS... if you were only approached for intimacy once a month by your DH or SO... and then told that your breath was bad... would it make you feel unnatractive? Do you agree that feeling sexually appealing is directly linked to the feedback you receive about your looks from men? If no, how do you go about feeling sexy when nobody looks at you anymore?