should I let my husband be a father figure to our nephew

[Anonymous]

Back story my sil 8 yes ago went to a party and came home pregnant. We have no idea who his dad is. He has since been diagnosed with autism, and has never lived with mom but he lives with mil and other sil. They havIe asked my dh to set aside 1 day month where he spends time just with our nephew. we love our nephew, challenge is dh works a lot of hours and we have children he needs to spend time with

Update- thank you every one who gave suggestions. I have decided to encourage him to include nephew in our family plans

Update 2
husband and 2 sons 1 daughter and 1 nephew are at a car show having a picnic in the grass right now. even if we spend 3 or 4 hours with him. We can still have daddy and his kids time too.

[Anonymous - Original Poster]

Why, my husband and I always discuss changes to family schedule, and I my concern is sacrificing our own kids time, not in the fact my husband could be an amazing influence, or my own,love for my nephew

Quoting Anonymous:

Should you let? The fact you even have to ask this shows how pathetic you are.

[Anonymous - Original Poster]

My concern is not in him spending time with him, but sacrificing our kids,time with him. With his work schedule while kids are in school he only sees them 2 days a montg

Quoting Anonymous:

I agree. Are you really so selfish that you can't give up one day a month so that poor child can get the help he needs? Use that day to schedule something special for just you and your kids. They'll treasure the memories forever.

Quoting mommy404204:

Absolutely. that child will need all the support he can get. it is not his fault he has absentee parents. 1 day out of a while month isnt too bad or even just a few hrs to have a male to interact with just to go to the park or bowling some male bonding. Also i would never let or not let my SO interact with his family that is his decision. in your situation i would deffinately incourage it.

[Anonymous]

You would be a flaming bitch from hell if you didn't let him.  In fact, I'd insist AT LEAST once a week, he dedicate some time to that boy.

[ajohnson08099]

 Im curious.... Why do your kids only get two days a month with their dad??

[Anonymous - Original Poster]

My concern is not in him spending time with him, but sacrificing our kids,time with him. With his work schedule while kids are in school he only sees them 2 days a month, is it right to sacrifice my own kids time.

Quoting Anonymous:

I agree. Are you really so selfish that you can't give up one day a month so that poor child can get the help he needs? Use that day to schedule something special for just you and your kids. They'll treasure the memories forever.

Quoting mommy404204:

Absolutely. that child will need all the support he can get. it is not his fault he has absentee parents. 1 day out of a while month isnt too bad or even just a few hrs to have a male to interact with just to go to the park or bowling some male bonding. Also i would never let or not let my SO interact with his family that is his decision. in your situation i would deffinately incourage it.

[Anonymous]

This is what we do with my niece and nephew, my sister is on her 5 husband, dad is  on his 3rd wife and hasn't seen the kids in years.  My mom and dad raised them with my and my husband's help.   My hubby and I have never taken a family vacation or day trip that didn't includeat less one of the kids.  They are older now 19 and 17 so they don't have much free time but they still come over just to hang out we never know who is coming in the door they do call if its late before they come in that's the only time they call first.  lol. 

Quoting ff-princess:

positive male role model?  sure.  father figure?  nope.

and I would not be able to have him peel away an entire day away from us, devoted solely to someone else's child, if we didn't get to see him enough as it is.  the nephew should be welcome to join your family on other outings a couple of times a month.

[CABZS]

My friend & her DH have been raising their niece as their own for 8yrs now, I think it is awesome!

And yes I would let my DH do what is being asked of your husband.

[Anonymous - Original Poster]

He work 2 to midnight at a hospital, when he gets home they are sleeping, and when he gets up they are in school, he is off every other weekend. Sundays are full church days. So that leaves every other Saturdays for us to have our family day

Quoting ajohnson08099:

 Im curious.... Why do your kids only get two days a month with their dad??

[ajohnson08099]

 I know your kids aren't the issue at hand.. But I used to work the 2nd shift at my job also. Why doesn't he take the kids to school then come home and get some sleep? Does he have weekends off or odd days? Either way he at least can have some part of each weekend. Before two at least.. Have breakfast with the kids or lunch. Maybe he should consider taking a different shift at work so he CAN make more time for everyone in the family.

As for what you are Actually asking about. Have him do what he is able to. He isn't this child's father but he SHOULD act like an uncle and see him every once in a while.

Quoting Anonymous:

He work 2 to midnight at a hospital, when he gets home they are sleeping, and when he gets uo

Quoting ajohnson08099:

 Im curious.... Why do your kids only get two days a month with their dad??

 

[ajohnson08099]

 Oh lol you changed it. Well. I'd still suggest him getting up and taking them to school every now and then. Its a good bonding thing. Yeah working until midnight and then getting up in the morning sucks... But he can go back to bed after they get off to school. Its all about how you prioritize your time.

Quoting Anonymous:

He work 2 to midnight at a hospital, when he gets home they are sleeping, and when he gets up they are in school, he is off every other weekend. Sundays are full church days. So that leaves every other Saturdays for us to have our family day

Quoting ajohnson08099:

 Im curious.... Why do your kids only get two days a month with their dad??