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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

DD has ADHD and struggles with friends. Help!

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 21 Replies

DD has had symptoms of ADHD for a long time but only in the last year has it really become something of concern.

She has always had trouble making/keeping friends. She is very dramatic, sensitive, hyperactive (at times) and loud. She's always the loudest one. She can be bossy and not even realize it. All of this is not in the "normal girl stuff" range - I mean my girl is on the extreme with these.

She tends to befriend the quiet-but-still-social kids, and sometimes kids that are a year or so younger than her. I think it has to do with the fact that they look up to her because she's more outgoing/older than they are.

She's at a sleepover with her softball team tonight. She almost got into a fight with one girl (they are 9 and younger) and then there was another little squabble. Apparently DD punched a girl in the arm (but not meaning for it to be aggression, kind of jokingly) and it escalated. Anyway, besides the point. I have no clue how to get her to be "normal". Having talks with her does nothing. Trying to teach her how to act around other people does nothing.

She is homeschooled now because she was barely getting by in PS. So it's important that she socialize, but she struggles to fit in.

HELP!!!

Posted by Anonymous on Sep. 15, 2012 at 10:25 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Sep. 15, 2012 at 10:28 PM

Bump

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Sep. 15, 2012 at 10:32 PM

maybe i should've titled it 'my DH had a threesome with his brother and sister in law'

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Sep. 15, 2012 at 10:35 PM

surely to god there is one person on this board with a child who has adhd...

molly_ann
by Bronze Member on Sep. 15, 2012 at 10:37 PM
Wow! Sounds like my kid to a t! My dd was dx with aspergers and ADHD. It gets worse before it gets better. Talk to her dr about what u told us :)
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Sep. 15, 2012 at 10:38 PM

Oh my that is SOOO my daughter!   She is also homeschooled now because she was getting to the point she wanted to die at 7 yrs old because of social issues at school.   We felt if she stayed in the PS system that she would be a statistic by 13.  

She also gets angry easily.  She holds it in a lot, but you can SMELL the fumes coming from her ears if her brother beats her at something or if you correct her or tell her no to anything.    

Sometimes she's so mature and amazing, and other times... wow...   

She also won't keep herself or her room clean... I have to stay on top of her for everything.   Like brushing her teeth.  I gotta supervise my 10 year old because she will pretend she's doing it, and waste time standing there.  I have to intrude on her shower to wash her hair right, because she won't even get it wet all the way....

She was a BEAR to toilet train, and would still have constant (pee and poo) accidents until she was almost 9.   We finally found what stopped that completely.  (Having to turn her underwear into her Dad every night... as I was at the end of my stress level dealing with it... if she had done anything in them, she was grounded the next day from everything.)

I can't tell you much except that my daughter does better here at home, but put in a few extra curricular activities that she can count on.   She also does better with a decent schedule.   She also does better with a bunch of encouragement... She seems to really need some things in her life that aren't competitive and yet easy for her to be successful at because she needs to build up her self esteem.   We also are firm and don't let her play mind games and sorry for herself games when she is angry with us.

We are getting ready to try the supplement St. John's Wart.   I had a cousin who struggled with stuff and only recently remembered how much that helped him.   I also heard that caffiene actually helps to stimulate them in the right way as opposed to how it works on kids that are ADD free.

Going anonymous because I revealed a lot of embarrassing things about my girl.



TheMrs407
by Emerald Member on Sep. 15, 2012 at 10:39 PM
Has she seen a doctor?
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Sep. 15, 2012 at 10:40 PM
I am not sure how old your daughter is? Would you consider meeting with a counselor or having her participate in a neuropsychological evaluation ?
AllofFive19
by Ruby Member on Sep. 15, 2012 at 10:42 PM

How about supervised playdates, so you can see struggles as or before they happen?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Sep. 15, 2012 at 10:42 PM

 I would talk to the psychiatrist about it.  Perhaps her medication needs adjustment or she would benefit from behavioral therapy. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Sep. 15, 2012 at 10:44 PM

No, but I've been reading books and online. She doesn't know she has ADHD. I don't want her to think something is wrong with her. She has enough issues without thinking she's flawed or defective. I'm holding out on taking her until we conclude that this isn't something we can handle on our own. Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't know what a doctor could tell me that I can't find on my own, aside from prescribing medication, and we want to avoid meds at all costs.

Quoting TheMrs407:

Has she seen a doctor?


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