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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

the things you thought you would never say before kids ETA

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
Ds- mom there is poop coming out of my butthole O.o
Me- thats what happens.. Lol
No you may not pinch my boob
Tampons are not toys!
Please dont try to ride the dog
No mommy dont have a.weiner and no you can not see what I have
Dont pull your brothers penis
The cat dont like toliet baths
The dog does not like to share food so STAY THE HELL OUT OF IT!!


Add your own :)

ETA- No we can not spray paint the cat lime green
The toliet is not optional you must pee IN it not on it.
We do not push grandma bc she is walking slow
Just bc you are breastfed doesnt mean the lady behind the counter needs to see my nipple when you are trying to pull my boob out if my shirt(dd 1yrs old)
Mamas make up is for me and not for you/your dolls/your toys/bed/walls
No you may not lock your sister outside
Posted by Anonymous on Sep. 16, 2012 at 9:06 PM
Replies (21-30):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Sep. 16, 2012 at 9:30 PM

That is NOT your prostate!

CBMMOM
by Gold Member on Sep. 16, 2012 at 9:34 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting PandTsmomjuly:

HAHA! My now 5yr old did this! I used to use the ones with wings until he took all my pads out.

We had stairs and I went up to find out why he was so quiet. As I climbed, I saw my pads stuck to the wall. I rounded the corner to yell at him and he was COVERED in them.

"Look mommy! I fownd AiwPWANES! ZROOOOOOOM!" (He was 2)

I literally laughed so hard I had to sit down and can no longer wear pads with wings, lol.

Quoting CBMMOM:

Never use my pads for a wall border around your room again.


They are so funny when they discover pads.: ) My daughter sort of had figured out where to use them. I say sort of because she put them in the right place,but she stuck them directly to her. She came out of the bathroom like that a few times. It was funny and cute and strange every time. : )

kcook55
by Silver Member on Sep. 16, 2012 at 9:36 PM
dont kiss your sisters butt
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
kcook55
by Silver Member on Sep. 16, 2012 at 9:41 PM
no the trash can is not a playground stay out of it. this happened last weekend afteri told him this 3 times in 20 min it fell over with him in it and busted his head open
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Oostera
by on Sep. 16, 2012 at 9:59 PM
3 moms liked this

May I wash your vulva/breasts/bum? (I try to teach my DD that no one can touch her without her permission, so I ask when I bathe her)

Please do not play with your brother's penis.

Please go touch yourself in private.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Sep. 16, 2012 at 10:01 PM
2 moms liked this

I think the one that tops all others (you know, the typical "Don't lick the doorframe" kinda stuff)

"Stop sucking on that and put it back in your pants!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Said to my 9y/o son who had the drawstrings from his jeans in his mouth, on the way to school one morning.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Sep. 16, 2012 at 10:01 PM
1 mom liked this
Ouch I have hemrroids
harpsichord
by Platinum Member on Sep. 16, 2012 at 10:02 PM
"There's an Elmo in my purse."
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Sep. 16, 2012 at 10:02 PM

I have all boys, but they found my "post baby" stash... *sigh* "Mommy, do you need a diaper?"  "Look, these are mommy's diapers"

Quoting CBMMOM:


Quoting PandTsmomjuly:

HAHA! My now 5yr old did this! I used to use the ones with wings until he took all my pads out.

We had stairs and I went up to find out why he was so quiet. As I climbed, I saw my pads stuck to the wall. I rounded the corner to yell at him and he was COVERED in them.

"Look mommy! I fownd AiwPWANES! ZROOOOOOOM!" (He was 2)

I literally laughed so hard I had to sit down and can no longer wear pads with wings, lol.

Quoting CBMMOM:

Never use my pads for a wall border around your room again.

 

They are so funny when they discover pads.: ) My daughter sort of had figured out where to use them. I say sort of because she put them in the right place,but she stuck them directly to her. She came out of the bathroom like that a few times. It was funny and cute and strange every time. : )


moosesmom
by Ruby Member on Sep. 16, 2012 at 10:04 PM
3 moms liked this

"Dad has a "tail" because he's a boy"

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