My oldest son Jay, (he will be 2 on Sept 26th), has had NO issues sharing in the past. He has ALWAYS shared freely and willingly. Even wanted to share with baby brother Zechy (born this past May) the moment he was born basically.
Suddenly there are a few toys he simply will not share. (When I say suddenly I really mean since my mom passed on July 7th, 2012).
We were sitting on the floor reading books. My baby Zechy was interested in the shapes book (one that my mom had gotten Jay for his first birthday), so I picked it up, opened it up to a random page (It's a big foam shapes puzzle book) and set it in front of him. (Well on the tray in front of him. He sitting in his Bumbo seat with the tray on it). During this time my oldest and I were still in the middle of reading one of his other books. When he realized that I had given his brother that book he threw the BIGGEST fit. Got up, went over to my youngest son and took the book saying, "no no no baby, mine. My book, no your book."
Well, I said, "No no Jay, we have to share our toys and books with our brother." So I went to take it back to give it back to my younger son Zechy. My Older son Jay threw the BIGGEST fit, swear, he threw another book at me that we had already read. (He has NEVER done this before. He has never reacted this way before, except once.)
About a week ago we asked him to share some of his toys with brother Zechy (Who was looking very interested in the Toys Jay was playing with). So surprisingly Jay gave Zechy his Prized Mack (yes semi truck from the Movie Cars) truck to play with. I was very astonished and praised him for that. This is seriously one toy he holds tight to and does not share. A few nights later he was playing with his big brother gift from my mom (Truck with a horse trailer that detaches and has a horse in it) and then decided he wanted to play with his Mater car, and brother looked interested in it, so we asked him to share it with brother. This was the first time he threw a HUGE fit like he did today over a toy and sharing.
My mom made custom made blankets and quilts for both boys, which they got the day they were born. I accidently grabbed the one that she made for Jay my oldest, to cover my Zechy my youngest when he fell asleep in the swing. My son was upset by it, but didn't throw a big fit like today, when I simply grabbed his special quilt that grandma had made him.
So talking to my husband we have noticed that he is ONLY not willing to share the toys/things that grandma gave him (my mom). I know he knows what it means, he was at the memorial services and funeral. He knows that Grandma went bye bye for now, but we will see her in heaven one day. He is VERY aware of it all. My grief counselor has helped me realize that my son knows MORE than I give him credit for.
My question is do you think this is his way of grieving? Is this normal? What would you suggest I do?