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is anyone here

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

that is in a relationship/marriage because you have just given up? meaning.....you know deep down its not going to work but u keep it going for whatever reason? physical abuse, emotional abuse, drug abuse, cheating problems, etc dont even deter you from leaving your man? you are just like "fuck it, i'll deal with it". maybe its because of the kids...maybe its bc u dont want to be alone but doesnt it suck? as i type this i cry....im depressed and lonely....my man and other men deny they have problems and just blamne eveyrthing on you......they make you feel inferior and they have control of the relationship..its easy for me to leave but i dont know why i stay....anyone out there feel like this at all? of course i know im going to get the negative comments and people bashing this post....but i truely would love to talk to women who are in the same position as i am....i cant talk to my friends or family....i cant talk to him, he just twists shit and makes me miserable but i stay...i stay...idk why but i stay

Posted by Anonymous on Sep. 20, 2012 at 8:33 AM
Replies (61-70):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Sep. 20, 2012 at 9:29 AM

me either :( and me too

Quoting Anonymous:

Me too! I need to talk about it bc I'm at breaking point and I don't have anyone to share how I feel about it. Its so frustrating and hurts so bad at the same time.


Quoting Anonymous:

OMG i feel like u. i swear i do...i wish this damn cm wasnt so petty bc i would totally talk to u for hours,...sigh

Quoting Anonymous:

Its so complicated because so many things have happened. I wish he wasn't in my life. Yes its so easy for people to say "leave him" but its just not that easy.




brettsmomma
by ~Tammie~ on Sep. 20, 2012 at 9:29 AM

I truly hope you do. Life is way to short to be living a lie. At some point you have to start living for you. When you do you will find that people will migrate to the newer happier self. Please don't waste as many years as I did.

Quoting Anonymous:

i will get there one day

Quoting brettsmomma:

That used to be me. We didn't have children but I felt this obligation to stay.. So I did for 13 years. Change is hard. Its uncomfortable stepping out of what you know and can count on to something new and random. 

I can tell you that taking the initiative and leaving was the best decision I have ever made for myself. I was extremely scared and lonely that first year. But it got better. I found myself becoming the person I always knew I could be. 

6, almost 7, years later I couldn't be more happy and content. Im in the marriage I always dreamed my first could be. Im so freaking proud of myself and grateful that I did what I did. 




Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Sep. 20, 2012 at 9:30 AM

ive wasted so much already..i need to get ahold of myself...idk

Quoting brettsmomma:

I truly hope you do. Life is way to short to be living a lie. At some point you have to start living for you. When you do you will find that people will migrate to the newer happier self. Please don't waste as many years as I did.

Quoting Anonymous:

i will get there one day

Quoting brettsmomma:

That used to be me. We didn't have children but I felt this obligation to stay.. So I did for 13 years. Change is hard. Its uncomfortable stepping out of what you know and can count on to something new and random. 

I can tell you that taking the initiative and leaving was the best decision I have ever made for myself. I was extremely scared and lonely that first year. But it got better. I found myself becoming the person I always knew I could be. 

6, almost 7, years later I couldn't be more happy and content. Im in the marriage I always dreamed my first could be. Im so freaking proud of myself and grateful that I did what I did. 




Bertha21
by Platinum Member on Sep. 20, 2012 at 9:31 AM
1 mom liked this
It is! I hope he changes for you!

Quoting Anonymous:

thats awesome

Quoting Bertha21:

Well one day we had a serious talk and realized we wanted to be together and give our son a happy life. We started doing nice things for each other daily, nothing big just little things that show we appreciate each other. We also don't fight about petty things anymore. He started communicating better, which helps a lot!



Quoting Anonymous:

  how did u work on things?

the kids part is complicated, but they arent his...no

Quoting Bertha21:

I know how you feel! He didn't abuse me physically or mentally, he was just always angry. He has HORRIBLE anger issues. We were in that rut (we both hated each other) for a year. We stayed together for our son, and we also loved each other just couldn't stand each other. We are in love and happier than ever now. It was just a long rut! Do you have kids together?



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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Sep. 20, 2012 at 9:32 AM
You are attach to him because you are used of him being around, but the more u stay the more example ur gonna set your kids when they grow and do the same... and that right there is gonna hurt you alot. If u dont have a father i assume maybe u want a father for your kids but in reality they already have a father especially if he loves them. Take it from me. my brother and i never had a father figure and my mom made & grew my brother to a sensitive person. My mom got cheated and treated like shit with her bf. Then my brother got married to a gold digger that used to cheat on him infront or behind his back. They used to call him bull or deer because he had big horns and he couldnt leave because he was attach to her already. The samething my mom used to say when her bf would cheat with prostitutes and all she can say is, shes used of him and still has feeling for him so she wont dare to kick him out, because then who else is gonna fix her car and shes gonna end up alone..
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Sep. 20, 2012 at 9:33 AM
1 mom liked this

agreed.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Sep. 20, 2012 at 9:36 AM
I understand....I'm actually one of them....but I've been where you are...I know it's hard....it takes a lot to leave....it takes a lot to stay....your kids won't thank you for it...they aren't stupid....you are setting them up to be abused or abusers themselves....but I do understand. GL

Quoting Anonymous:

i can but i cant post anonymously in it..i could make a group profile i suppose..but im guessing women on here wouldnt want to make it known what they are dealing with at home...u know...a lot of cut throat bitches on here would have a field day with it

Quoting Anonymous:

Why not....can't you set the group to private or something?



Quoting Anonymous:

i would if i could...but i cant so i wont

Quoting Anonymous:

You guys should start a group called "willing victims in abusive relationships"



Anonymous
by Anonymous on Sep. 20, 2012 at 9:37 AM
Well I hope you manage to resolve your issues. Its so bad we can't talk!


Quoting Anonymous:

me either :( and me too

Quoting Anonymous:

Me too! I need to talk about it bc I'm at breaking point and I don't have anyone to share how I feel about it. Its so frustrating and hurts so bad at the same time.





Quoting Anonymous:

OMG i feel like u. i swear i do...i wish this damn cm wasnt so petty bc i would totally talk to u for hours,...sigh

Quoting Anonymous:

Its so complicated because so many things have happened. I wish he wasn't in my life. Yes its so easy for people to say "leave him" but its just not that easy.






nikabear
by Gold Member on Sep. 20, 2012 at 9:37 AM
No because I love myself and my kids more than I could love any man......i rather struggle and make sure my kids are okay than to stay with a man who does not know my worth. I am worth so much more than that and if you know better then you do better.......
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Sep. 20, 2012 at 9:39 AM
No. Why would I waste my life and sacrifice my happiness?? I have too much self respect for myself to let that happen.
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