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Edit -- Why the f*$# are YOU telling me to do with MY kid????

Thank you to the mothers who have replied to my questions without getting defensive or simply saying "mind your own business"....because of the mothers who have answered with their reasons, I can see there are reasons I haven't thought of (motion sickness that gets better when they are forward facing, space issues with their vehicle - the big seats won't fit rear facing - or having many carseats in the vehicle).   It was a post similar to this one that opened my eyes to the idea 'what do you mean?  I don't HAVE to turn my son forward facing when he turns one?"  I looked more into the topic and was able to make an informed decision for my family.  

My hope is that  maybe one new mother read this post and will think more about what she wants to do based on the information that is available.  When my son was reaching his first birthday, I had a friend who said "Oooh!  Now you can move his seat forward!  It is sooo exciting and fun for them!"  I know this is what a lot of new mothers hear.  Thankfully, I had watched the videos and read the facts about rear facing and replied to her "No.  I will keep him rear facing."  Even after I told her why, she thought it was 'weird'....but, I didn't care.  She was never one to research anything or be able to give real reasons for her decisions, other than 'just because'.  She had her youngest daughter in a booster seat before she was 3 1/2 and actually, with a nervous laugh, said "we don't really care about that stuff'.  To each their own.  Anyway - thanks for your insights.  I appreciate the time you took.    

I think it's funny when mothers say with pride and confidence "I moved my child forward facing before the legal limit and they survived".....and then they go on to say "oh yeah, they never got in a bad car accident".  What if they had?  (Apparently these mothers do not care about the possibility of another driver smashing into them)....Having your child 'survive' forward facing, yet never having been in a car accident, says nothing at all about how 'safe' he/she is as a "forward facing child".  It only says how lucky they (and you) were.

It is the parents who have forward faced their children too young -- who have lost their children in accidents where being rear facing may have made the difference between their child living or dying -- it is THOSE parents who are telling their stories and PLEADING with other parents to not make the same mistake they did.  Those parents are trying so hard to TEACH other parents and hope other parents will listen.  I can't believe so many parents just turn their heads the other way, ignore those tragedies, shrug their shoulders, and say "I know what's best, so save your stories for someone who gives a shit".  Such a shame.

Why do parents want to turn their children forward facing the second it is legal???  Why do parents turn their children forward facing BEFORE it is legal???


by on Sep. 21, 2012 at 10:08 PM
Replies (111-120):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Sep. 21, 2012 at 11:53 PM
Agreed.
circle_of_life
by Platinum Member on Sep. 21, 2012 at 11:55 PM

Not that unusual. I can't face backwards in a car. If dh is driving and I turn around to say something to one of the kids, I get sick almost immediately. I can't read in the car, either, or focus on any one thing, I'll get sick.

Quoting Anonymous:

Wtf? Never heard such a thing.


Quoting Kaelaasmom:


Quoting one_on_the_way:

 


Quoting Kaelaasmom:


Quoting Anonymous:

Some children can't handle being backwards. It is very uncomfortable and they scream the parents choose what they feel is best for said child.

Or they vomit violently from facing backwards.

When does that start?

My daughter started around 6 months. It took us until she was 11 months to figure out it was facing the rear of the car. I have the same issue. I could never ride in the rear facing seat of my parents' station wagon.



AnnaNonamus
by Platinum Member on Sep. 21, 2012 at 11:56 PM
1 mom liked this

What I think is funny is when parents flip the fuck out when they find out my kids all FF at 20#. Not one of them cares that when they were kids, it was highly encouraged at 20#.

Rules and suggestions change over time. When I had DD1, there was a big push to have kids sleep on their bellies. By the time DS was born, it was sides. With DD2, it was backs. I followed the medical advice given to me with each child.


Yet, lots of judgementle mom's here would crucify me for my choices because they may not fit today's guidelines.


Guess what? All 3 of my kids lived.

Hell, I was the first baby in my family to be in a carseat past the age of 1. My older brother and cousins all survived seat belts at the age of 1.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Sep. 22, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Its called motion sickness.


Quoting Anonymous:

Wtf? Never heard such a thing.




Quoting Kaelaasmom:


Quoting one_on_the_way:




Quoting Kaelaasmom:


Quoting Anonymous:

Some children can't handle being backwards. It is very uncomfortable and they scream the parents choose what they feel is best for said child.

Or they vomit violently from facing backwards.

When does that start?

My daughter started around 6 months. It took us until she was 11 months to figure out it was facing the rear of the car. I have the same issue. I could never ride in the rear facing seat of my parents' station wagon.



Anonymous
by Anonymous on Sep. 22, 2012 at 12:05 AM
Yeah. Actually I did. And I was right. The moment she was FF she quit doing it.


Quoting one_on_the_way:

Before putting her forward facing, did you think it was going to solve your problem?  Did you think "Oh, she is taking herself out of her seat BECAUSE she is rear facing......we MUST put her forward facing for her own safety."???



Quoting Anonymous:

My child let herself out of her seat when she was rear facing. She didn't when it was forward facing. So having her FF as soon as she was legal was much safer than having her still RF and letting herself out of the seat while driving down the interstate. Being in a child restrain facing any direction is much better than getting in a crash and not being restrained at all.





Quoting one_on_the_way:




Quoting Anonymous:

Some children can't handle being backwards. It is very uncomfortable and they scream the parents choose what they feel is best for said child.

How is forward facing 'less' uncomfortable??  A car seat is uncomfortable in most ways.  

My son hated the sun in his eyes when he was rear facing.  I got a shade.  And, now that he is forward facing, he still gets sun in his eyes (even with a shade).

Rear facing.....my son had to bend his knees.  

Now that he is forward facing (and very tall for his age)...he still has to bend his knees.

However, when he was rear facing....and had some drunk idiot crossed the line and crash into us full-speed - I don't know....would he have been safer forward facing, or rear facing?  

Does comfort trump safety?





Cpdsptchgrl
by on Sep. 22, 2012 at 12:05 AM
I have the same problem.


Quoting Anonymous:

Its called motion sickness.




Quoting Anonymous:

Wtf? Never heard such a thing.






Quoting Kaelaasmom:


Quoting one_on_the_way:





Quoting Kaelaasmom:


Quoting Anonymous:

Some children can't handle being backwards. It is very uncomfortable and they scream the parents choose what they feel is best for said child.

Or they vomit violently from facing backwards.

When does that start?

My daughter started around 6 months. It took us until she was 11 months to figure out it was facing the rear of the car. I have the same issue. I could never ride in the rear facing seat of my parents' station wagon.




Posted on CafeMom Mobile
JLo1486
by Gold Member on Sep. 22, 2012 at 12:07 AM
I say this all the time.

Quoting TheMaskedMommy:

There is NO SAFE PLACE in a car.  You all argue forward/backward/upside down/inside out.... "my way is safer" "my way is better" "women who do this should have their kids taken away" "Blah blah blah."  I'm sick of reading about it.  I am my child's mother.  Not you, not the fedral government, not the state.  I will choose, based on common sense and research, what is best for my child.  In truth, it does not matter where you are in a car, not does it matter how large of small you are, if it is your time, then it is your time.  No amount of planning, safety equipment, or knowledge is going to save you.  There is no "what if" there is only "what is."

You can go on judging others beause they don't do things your way... but honestly, I'm begining to think CM is nothing but a breeding ground for a new type of racism.  Let the Mommy Wars begin... may the odds be ever in your favor....

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Bree0922
by Silver Member on Sep. 22, 2012 at 12:12 AM
Idk.
my kids aren't minimums, so I don't do the minimum... They all rearface to the limits of whatever is the highest limit is available..I don't care about the cost. My kids are worth it.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Sep. 22, 2012 at 12:16 AM

My daughter has always hated riding in the car, but when she was an infant she would scream bloody murder until she vomited, she choked on her own vomit a few times.  Have you ever had to pull over a car to the side of the road so you can help your child breath?  It's scary and dangerous.  So yes, as soon as she turned 1 year I turned her carseat around.  She does much better forward facing.

Quoting one_on_the_way:

 

Quoting Anonymous:

Some children can't handle being backwards. It is very uncomfortable and they scream the parents choose what they feel is best for said child.

How is forward facing 'less' uncomfortable??  A car seat is uncomfortable in most ways.  

My son hated the sun in his eyes when he was rear facing.  I got a shade.  And, now that he is forward facing, he still gets sun in his eyes (even with a shade).

Rear facing.....my son had to bend his knees.  

Now that he is forward facing (and very tall for his age)...he still has to bend his knees.

However, when he was rear facing....and had some drunk idiot crossed the line and crash into us full-speed - I don't know....would he have been safer forward facing, or rear facing?  

Does comfort trump safety?


Godgaveme4
by Gold Member on Sep. 22, 2012 at 12:44 AM

 

Quoting one_on_the_way:

 

Quoting Godgaveme4:

 

Quoting one_on_the_way:

 

Quoting Godgaveme4:

 

Quoting one_on_the_way:

 

Quoting Godgaveme4:

 We could not wait to turn our kiddos.  It was nice to see their smiling faces.

MAY is the operative word in this.  It may have made a difference but no one really knows for sure.  No accident is ever exactly the same.  There are so many different variables.  The kind of car, the kind of car seats, the driver, the tires, brakes, road, the other car involved, the weather, environment, etc.

Well then, forward face your child from birth on....if it all comes down to 'may' and 'every accident is different', then why does ANYONE really care one way or another?

Hold them in your lap - hell, that's what our grandparents did.

 I am sure many would if the government did not feel the need to parent it's citizens... but tha is a subject for a different post.

We have a habit of looking at a disaster or accident and making a decision for all about how we will save lives.  Look at SIDs.  Sleep on their back...sleep on their tummy...sleep on their side...rotate them continuously...it changes over and over again.  The thing is that no one knows the cause.  All of the cases have been different and have different variables like enviroment, genetics, food, etc.  The same goes for accidents.

So while we do all we can to prevent an accident on our part we do not know if anthing will actually protect or save a persons life during one.

I can think of a couple scenarios that rear facing would not be safe for a child.  In the case of a car catching on fire or plunging into water.  I like to know thatI can or could have reached back and unbuckled my kids for a speedy escape.  If they rear face it would be difficult to unbuckle them.  But that is just how i feel.

Why do you think the government (laws) require babies are in carseats?  

 I know why there are the laws.  I just do not agree with a nanny state.  And those laws are part of the nanny state.

Laws to rear face until 1 yr and 20 lbs is a nanny state?

 Laws that tell a parent, well how to parent is a nanny state.  Just my opinion though.

I am looking forard to my youngest being out of her booster in a few months.  We will be having a HUGE no more car seats boosters party.  HOORAY!!!party

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