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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Edit -- Why the f*$# are YOU telling me to do with MY kid????

Thank you to the mothers who have replied to my questions without getting defensive or simply saying "mind your own business"....because of the mothers who have answered with their reasons, I can see there are reasons I haven't thought of (motion sickness that gets better when they are forward facing, space issues with their vehicle - the big seats won't fit rear facing - or having many carseats in the vehicle).   It was a post similar to this one that opened my eyes to the idea 'what do you mean?  I don't HAVE to turn my son forward facing when he turns one?"  I looked more into the topic and was able to make an informed decision for my family.  

My hope is that  maybe one new mother read this post and will think more about what she wants to do based on the information that is available.  When my son was reaching his first birthday, I had a friend who said "Oooh!  Now you can move his seat forward!  It is sooo exciting and fun for them!"  I know this is what a lot of new mothers hear.  Thankfully, I had watched the videos and read the facts about rear facing and replied to her "No.  I will keep him rear facing."  Even after I told her why, she thought it was 'weird'....but, I didn't care.  She was never one to research anything or be able to give real reasons for her decisions, other than 'just because'.  She had her youngest daughter in a booster seat before she was 3 1/2 and actually, with a nervous laugh, said "we don't really care about that stuff'.  To each their own.  Anyway - thanks for your insights.  I appreciate the time you took.    

I think it's funny when mothers say with pride and confidence "I moved my child forward facing before the legal limit and they survived".....and then they go on to say "oh yeah, they never got in a bad car accident".  What if they had?  (Apparently these mothers do not care about the possibility of another driver smashing into them)....Having your child 'survive' forward facing, yet never having been in a car accident, says nothing at all about how 'safe' he/she is as a "forward facing child".  It only says how lucky they (and you) were.

It is the parents who have forward faced their children too young -- who have lost their children in accidents where being rear facing may have made the difference between their child living or dying -- it is THOSE parents who are telling their stories and PLEADING with other parents to not make the same mistake they did.  Those parents are trying so hard to TEACH other parents and hope other parents will listen.  I can't believe so many parents just turn their heads the other way, ignore those tragedies, shrug their shoulders, and say "I know what's best, so save your stories for someone who gives a shit".  Such a shame.

Why do parents want to turn their children forward facing the second it is legal???  Why do parents turn their children forward facing BEFORE it is legal???


by on Sep. 21, 2012 at 10:08 PM
Replies (181-190):
ChickenTheChina
by on Sep. 23, 2012 at 6:57 PM
Generally, when people are quoting other people, they put quotations around it.

Quoting one_on_the_way:



Quoting ChickenTheChina:

Hypocrite is hypocritical.

If you're saying that my title is hypocritical, it isn't.  That is the reaction so many mothers give when someone talks about rear facing (or other topic).  I figured I'd just get it out of the way right off the bat.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 33 on Sep. 23, 2012 at 7:00 PM
Carseat safety place? Lol

Quoting one_on_the_way:



Quoting mommy_me:

 I will be completely honest here. I did it because I was uneducated and didnt know better. That was with my first. I was young and dumb and had no clue what I was doing. Luckily I went for a carseat check at the local firehouse and some very nice(and smoking hot) fireman told me better. Im so glad I went to check the carseat

If it wasn't for CM and for the car seat safety place in my town (they double check to make sure your seat is installed properly), I wouldn't know any better either.  What I don't get is when someone is trying to share what they have learned and people get angry and defensive about it.  I have one friend who I was telling her about what I had learned about it and she was just like 'oh, whatever'....that attitude made me kind of sad.  

ChickenTheChina
by on Sep. 23, 2012 at 7:07 PM
Also, I want to add that nobody wants to be defensive or rude to you. But here's the thing: You aren't trying to inform all of us about the dangers of forward facing car seats. You are judging us for using forward facing carseats, and telling us that you're right, and we're wrong. Maybe you should go about it a in a different way, and you'll get more positive feedback.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
one_on_the_way
by Silver Member on Sep. 23, 2012 at 8:51 PM


Quoting ChickenTheChina:

Also, I want to add that nobody wants to be defensive or rude to you. But here's the thing: You aren't trying to inform all of us about the dangers of forward facing car seats. You are judging us for using forward facing carseats, and telling us that you're right, and we're wrong. Maybe you should go about it a in a different way, and you'll get more positive feedback.

The thing is, I did not say anything about others being wrong.  I explained that there are parents out there whose children have died who are hoping that other parents will listen to their stories - and many turn their heads.  So, I asked 'why?'.  May I ask how, specifically, I came across as judging and telling you all that I am right and you are wrong?    

Let me say that my post was prompted by another carseat post where I kept readiing replies of "my child was forward facing early, and they survived" as though that was justification of some sort and proof that it's all okay.  And, when I asked, "How bad was the accident that your forward facing child was okay and 'survived'?" - I got a snippy reply saying "there was no accident, but I see where you're going with that and don't bother replying back.  I choose what is best and that is all you need to know".  

So, I thought, well maybe she did choose what was best for her....and, since she told me to not bother replying back to her, I made my own post to ask others why they choose to forward face right at the minimum requirements (or even earlier).  When replies are what I mentioned in my OP of  'save your sob stories - mind your own business', yes, I judge.  I dont' understand that attitude.  But as forward facing goes in general....I never judged.    I asked a couple questions.  I want to better understand why some parents choose to FF quickly.  And, I got some very informative answers where now I have a better understanding.    

one_on_the_way
by Silver Member on Sep. 23, 2012 at 8:57 PM

I know, I know - I forgot the name of the place off the top of my head.  The actual name is "Portage County Child Passenger Safety Association, Inc."  They're a wonderful resource in our community.

Quoting Anonymous:

Carseat safety place? Lol

Quoting one_on_the_way:



Quoting mommy_me:

 I will be completely honest here. I did it because I was uneducated and didnt know better. That was with my first. I was young and dumb and had no clue what I was doing. Luckily I went for a carseat check at the local firehouse and some very nice(and smoking hot) fireman told me better. Im so glad I went to check the carseat

If it wasn't for CM and for the car seat safety place in my town (they double check to make sure your seat is installed properly), I wouldn't know any better either.  What I don't get is when someone is trying to share what they have learned and people get angry and defensive about it.  I have one friend who I was telling her about what I had learned about it and she was just like 'oh, whatever'....that attitude made me kind of sad.  


DarksMama
by Gold Member on Sep. 23, 2012 at 8:59 PM

This horse has been beaten from life to death and back again at least 12 times with a crowbar, dumptruck, jackhammer, baseball bat and nuclear weapons. 

Everyone do your own thing, and let others alone. Drop this shit now...it got old 5 years ago.

Kris_PBG
by on Sep. 23, 2012 at 9:01 PM

There is no reason that works for me that explains why a parent does that.

one_on_the_way
by Silver Member on Sep. 23, 2012 at 10:00 PM


Quoting DarksMama:

This horse has been beaten from life to death and back again at least 12 times with a crowbar, dumptruck, jackhammer, baseball bat and nuclear weapons. 

Everyone do your own thing, and let others alone. Drop this shit now...it got old 5 years ago.

For a new mother who has never before thought twice about such things of car seats - this is not old.  Just because you've been around for 5 years to watch this beat to death, does not mean this isn't the first time some mothers have ever heard a thing about it.

DarksMama
by Gold Member on Sep. 24, 2012 at 12:25 AM

That's horseshit and we BOTH know it. The minute you start looking into buying a carseat, the warnings are plastered EVERYWHERE. It's in the fucking installation manuals for fucks sake. You'd have to be entirely fucking ass backwards to NOT see that there are instructions for rear-facing along with height/weight requirements. You were just looking for an excuse to be a preachy know-it-all and get up in other people's business. Or you were just looking to stir the shit. Guess which way I'm voting? (rhetorical question...don't bother)

Quoting one_on_the_way


Quoting DarksMama:

This horse has been beaten from life to death and back again at least 12 times with a crowbar, dumptruck, jackhammer, baseball bat and nuclear weapons. 

Everyone do your own thing, and let others alone. Drop this shit now...it got old 5 years ago.

For a new mother who has never before thought twice about such things of car seats - this is not old.  Just because you've been around for 5 years to watch this beat to death, does not mean this isn't the first time some mothers have ever heard a thing about it.


one_on_the_way
by Silver Member on Sep. 24, 2012 at 10:18 AM

There are many mothers who just do what other people say "get this car seat, that's what I got"....their husbands install the carseats - they don't even glance at the owner's manual because "How f*$%ing hard can it be to put in a carseat?!"- their pediatricians tell them at their child's one year well-child check up "you can forward face him/her now" (well, now some peds are following the new AAP recommendations of no sooner than 2 yrs old, but not all)....along with friends who are all "great!  now you can forward face!" (as though it is something to celebrate).  Trust me, there are fairly clueless, uninformed mothers out there.  And, for many, it isn't their fault - they just live in their circle and trust that everyone around them knows everything they need to know.  Or, in your words maybe they are fucking ass backwards.  And, I didn't necessarily say people don't know about "1 yr/20 lbs" -- but many new mothers have never heard that rear facing is safest position beyond 1 yr & 20 lbs. and still others don't take the law as 'that big of a deal' and turn them whenever they have an excuse - even if they haven't reached 1 & 20.  I couldn't care less why you think I posted this.  But, I will tell you it is neither of the options you listed.

Quoting DarksMama:

That's horseshit and we BOTH know it. The minute you start looking into buying a carseat, the warnings are plastered EVERYWHERE. It's in the fucking installation manuals for fucks sake. You'd have to be entirely fucking ass backwards to NOT see that there are instructions for rear-facing along with height/weight requirements. You were just looking for an excuse to be a preachy know-it-all and get up in other people's business. Or you were just looking to stir the shit. Guess which way I'm voting? (rhetorical question...don't bother)

Quoting one_on_the_way


Quoting DarksMama:

This horse has been beaten from life to death and back again at least 12 times with a crowbar, dumptruck, jackhammer, baseball bat and nuclear weapons. 

Everyone do your own thing, and let others alone. Drop this shit now...it got old 5 years ago.

For a new mother who has never before thought twice about such things of car seats - this is not old.  Just because you've been around for 5 years to watch this beat to death, does not mean this isn't the first time some mothers have ever heard a thing about it.



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