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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Edit -- Why the f*$# are YOU telling me to do with MY kid????

Thank you to the mothers who have replied to my questions without getting defensive or simply saying "mind your own business"....because of the mothers who have answered with their reasons, I can see there are reasons I haven't thought of (motion sickness that gets better when they are forward facing, space issues with their vehicle - the big seats won't fit rear facing - or having many carseats in the vehicle).   It was a post similar to this one that opened my eyes to the idea 'what do you mean?  I don't HAVE to turn my son forward facing when he turns one?"  I looked more into the topic and was able to make an informed decision for my family.  

My hope is that  maybe one new mother read this post and will think more about what she wants to do based on the information that is available.  When my son was reaching his first birthday, I had a friend who said "Oooh!  Now you can move his seat forward!  It is sooo exciting and fun for them!"  I know this is what a lot of new mothers hear.  Thankfully, I had watched the videos and read the facts about rear facing and replied to her "No.  I will keep him rear facing."  Even after I told her why, she thought it was 'weird'....but, I didn't care.  She was never one to research anything or be able to give real reasons for her decisions, other than 'just because'.  She had her youngest daughter in a booster seat before she was 3 1/2 and actually, with a nervous laugh, said "we don't really care about that stuff'.  To each their own.  Anyway - thanks for your insights.  I appreciate the time you took.    

I think it's funny when mothers say with pride and confidence "I moved my child forward facing before the legal limit and they survived".....and then they go on to say "oh yeah, they never got in a bad car accident".  What if they had?  (Apparently these mothers do not care about the possibility of another driver smashing into them)....Having your child 'survive' forward facing, yet never having been in a car accident, says nothing at all about how 'safe' he/she is as a "forward facing child".  It only says how lucky they (and you) were.

It is the parents who have forward faced their children too young -- who have lost their children in accidents where being rear facing may have made the difference between their child living or dying -- it is THOSE parents who are telling their stories and PLEADING with other parents to not make the same mistake they did.  Those parents are trying so hard to TEACH other parents and hope other parents will listen.  I can't believe so many parents just turn their heads the other way, ignore those tragedies, shrug their shoulders, and say "I know what's best, so save your stories for someone who gives a shit".  Such a shame.

Why do parents want to turn their children forward facing the second it is legal???  Why do parents turn their children forward facing BEFORE it is legal???


by on Sep. 21, 2012 at 10:08 PM
Replies (81-90):
stephjohn
by on Sep. 21, 2012 at 11:16 PM
1 mom liked this

I agree. Because it's not just your driving you have to worry about it's EVERYONE on the road!!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 16 on Sep. 21, 2012 at 11:17 PM
My child let herself out of her seat when she was rear facing. She didn't when it was forward facing. So having her FF as soon as she was legal was much safer than having her still RF and letting herself out of the seat while driving down the interstate. Being in a child restrain facing any direction is much better than getting in a crash and not being restrained at all.


Quoting one_on_the_way:



Quoting Anonymous:

Some children can't handle being backwards. It is very uncomfortable and they scream the parents choose what they feel is best for said child.

How is forward facing 'less' uncomfortable??  A car seat is uncomfortable in most ways.  

My son hated the sun in his eyes when he was rear facing.  I got a shade.  And, now that he is forward facing, he still gets sun in his eyes (even with a shade).

Rear facing.....my son had to bend his knees.  

Now that he is forward facing (and very tall for his age)...he still has to bend his knees.

However, when he was rear facing....and had some drunk idiot crossed the line and crash into us full-speed - I don't know....would he have been safer forward facing, or rear facing?  

Does comfort trump safety?


one_on_the_way
by Silver Member on Sep. 21, 2012 at 11:18 PM


Quoting MommyKir:

My oldest was 1yr. he was too tall could hardly even sit indian style, the doc informed me that keeping them rear facing too long while they are too tall could harm them... miss-shape their legs, if in a crash break their legs...and that was not something I was willing to risk, so we turned him forward in a 5 point harness seat, with the nice padding around the head and shoulders( you know the ones I'm talking about?) My youngest was only 10 months for the same reason I have very tall kids. my son at 5 1/2 is already 4 1./2 ft. tall...

If my 42 inch 3 yr old could sit rear facing, I'm guessing it would not be the end of the world for your tall 1 year old to rear face.  Seriously.

I understand that your doctor gave you advice....however, I think he gave bad advice.  Very bad advice.

As I have already mentioned, I wish I could rear face.  In a head on collision...the worst kind of accident....rear facing is best for ANYONE in the vehicle. 

one_on_the_way
by Silver Member on Sep. 21, 2012 at 11:20 PM

Before putting her forward facing, did you think it was going to solve your problem?  Did you think "Oh, she is taking herself out of her seat BECAUSE she is rear facing......we MUST put her forward facing for her own safety."???


Quoting Anonymous:

My child let herself out of her seat when she was rear facing. She didn't when it was forward facing. So having her FF as soon as she was legal was much safer than having her still RF and letting herself out of the seat while driving down the interstate. Being in a child restrain facing any direction is much better than getting in a crash and not being restrained at all.


Quoting one_on_the_way:



Quoting Anonymous:

Some children can't handle being backwards. It is very uncomfortable and they scream the parents choose what they feel is best for said child.

How is forward facing 'less' uncomfortable??  A car seat is uncomfortable in most ways.  

My son hated the sun in his eyes when he was rear facing.  I got a shade.  And, now that he is forward facing, he still gets sun in his eyes (even with a shade).

Rear facing.....my son had to bend his knees.  

Now that he is forward facing (and very tall for his age)...he still has to bend his knees.

However, when he was rear facing....and had some drunk idiot crossed the line and crash into us full-speed - I don't know....would he have been safer forward facing, or rear facing?  

Does comfort trump safety?



Godgaveme4
by Gold Member on Sep. 21, 2012 at 11:21 PM

 

Quoting one_on_the_way:

 

Quoting Godgaveme4:

 We could not wait to turn our kiddos.  It was nice to see their smiling faces.

MAY is the operative word in this.  It may have made a difference but no one really knows for sure.  No accident is ever exactly the same.  There are so many different variables.  The kind of car, the kind of car seats, the driver, the tires, brakes, road, the other car involved, the weather, environment, etc.

Well then, forward face your child from birth on....if it all comes down to 'may' and 'every accident is different', then why does ANYONE really care one way or another?

Hold them in your lap - hell, that's what our grandparents did.

 I am sure many would if the government did not feel the need to parent it's citizens... but tha is a subject for a different post.

We have a habit of looking at a disaster or accident and making a decision for all about how we will save lives.  Look at SIDs.  Sleep on their back...sleep on their tummy...sleep on their side...rotate them continuously...it changes over and over again.  The thing is that no one knows the cause.  All of the cases have been different and have different variables like enviroment, genetics, food, etc.  The same goes for accidents.

So while we do all we can to prevent an accident on our part we do not know if anthing will actually protect or save a persons life during one.

I can think of a couple scenarios that rear facing would not be safe for a child.  In the case of a car catching on fire or plunging into water.  I like to know thatI can or could have reached back and unbuckled my kids for a speedy escape.  If they rear face it would be difficult to unbuckle them.  But that is just how i feel.

one_on_the_way
by Silver Member on Sep. 21, 2012 at 11:22 PM

Did I down mothers?

Quoting armywife009:

I'm talking about the women on Cafemom in general, these women just go on and on.

Fine share your advice, but there is no need to down mothers who don't share your same sanctimommy ideals.

I know best, because they are my children. You do what's best for yours.

Quoting one_on_the_way:

This is the first post I have made about this.....and I have not gone 'on and on' about it.  Why do you think I have gone on and on about it???

If one person says something....and then another....and then another....and then another.....it is not "I go on and on and on"....it is ONE mother sharing with other mothers what she is happy she knows about...and then another mother sharing....and another mother sharing.....it is NOT "I'm on a high horse" kind of thing.

If YOU know the information and facts about RF vs FF....and feel it is BEST for your child to FF as soon as possible....then move on.  Your decision is made.  You know best. (based on what, I don't know...but you know,and that is good enough). 

Quoting armywife009:

It's not that. It's the fact that these woman are constantly on this shit. I care about the safety of other kids, but I don't go on and on about it, like I am on some type of high horse. People who forward face, know the rules and the consequences if something happens (most anyway), but do it anyway because it is what they feel is best.

Quoting stormcloud:

Thank you. Why do some mothers get so upset when other mothers look out for their kids safety? Why is doing it your way more important then common sense?

Quoting one_on_the_way:



Quoting armywife009:

Why do someone women feel the need to get up all in another mothers business?

Because some women care about all children's safety...even children who are not their own.  





areyouatroll
by on Sep. 21, 2012 at 11:22 PM
Keeping a child who cannot stretch their legs rear facing is NOT placing them in more danger.

Quoting Anonymous:

Quoting tddncw2010:






Keeping a child who cannot stretch their legs rear facing is placing them in more danger. Kids in a 5 point are in more danger if they are older and I am talking 5, 6 and above because in an accident they are no more safe than if they were in a booster. However, if in an accident where they needed to get out quick, they wouldn't be able to.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Sep. 21, 2012 at 11:23 PM
Quoting areyouatroll:




If you say so. ;-)
one_on_the_way
by Silver Member on Sep. 21, 2012 at 11:25 PM


Quoting Godgaveme4:

 

Quoting one_on_the_way:


Quoting Godgaveme4:

 We could not wait to turn our kiddos.  It was nice to see their smiling faces.

MAY is the operative word in this.  It may have made a difference but no one really knows for sure.  No accident is ever exactly the same.  There are so many different variables.  The kind of car, the kind of car seats, the driver, the tires, brakes, road, the other car involved, the weather, environment, etc.

Well then, forward face your child from birth on....if it all comes down to 'may' and 'every accident is different', then why does ANYONE really care one way or another?

Hold them in your lap - hell, that's what our grandparents did.

 I am sure many would if the government did not feel the need to parent it's citizens... but tha is a subject for a different post.

We have a habit of looking at a disaster or accident and making a decision for all about how we will save lives.  Look at SIDs.  Sleep on their back...sleep on their tummy...sleep on their side...rotate them continuously...it changes over and over again.  The thing is that no one knows the cause.  All of the cases have been different and have different variables like enviroment, genetics, food, etc.  The same goes for accidents.

So while we do all we can to prevent an accident on our part we do not know if anthing will actually protect or save a persons life during one.

I can think of a couple scenarios that rear facing would not be safe for a child.  In the case of a car catching on fire or plunging into water.  I like to know thatI can or could have reached back and unbuckled my kids for a speedy escape.  If they rear face it would be difficult to unbuckle them.  But that is just how i feel.

Why do you think the government (laws) require babies are in carseats?  

areyouatroll
by on Sep. 21, 2012 at 11:25 PM
Your dr was wrong, sorry to say.

Quoting MommyKir:

My oldest was 1yr. he was too tall could hardly even sit indian style, the doc informed me that keeping them rear facing too long while they are too tall could harm them... miss-shape their legs, if in a crash break their legs...and that was not something I was willing to risk, so we turned him forward in a 5 point harness seat, with the nice padding around the head and shoulders( you know the ones I'm talking about?) My youngest was only 10 months for the same  reason I have very tall kids. my son at 5 1/2 is already 4 1./2 ft. tall...

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