I wish I was straight and normal. Ive always been gay and until recently Ive been extremely proud. Now I feel like shit, I feel like im going to hell and/or Im doomed to be alone forever since I cant date men. I cant date men bc they disgust me and even if i try and IVE TRIED, I cant develop feelings..not even as a crush. Im 22 years old and I dont want to defy GOD. But what if GOD isnt upset about it like everyone says. I dont know what to do. I pray for signs and I get nothing. I just wish I was normal, maybe Id be happier.