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i gave my 5 year old up for adoption

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 38 Replies
A friend and I were talking and we somehow got on the topic of adopting older kids.
Question we were debating is which is worse for a child to stay with a birthmom who doesn't want him/her or for the birthmom to give up said child?
assume there are no other family members willing to take the child.
By older I simply mean old enough to remember even vaguely that they had another mother
Posted by Anonymous on Sep. 25, 2012 at 7:59 PM
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Replies (1-10):
supermama322
by Kaylee on Sep. 25, 2012 at 8:04 PM
My stepsons birth mum gave him up for adoption when he was 3 1/2. She was going to lose him either way though.
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TiffanyRose06
by Queso<3 on Sep. 25, 2012 at 8:06 PM
4 moms liked this

I'd rather be with parents who wanted me then someone who didn't.

thefiregoddess
by Optimus Prime on Sep. 25, 2012 at 8:07 PM
Quoting TiffanyRose06:

I'd rather be with parents who wanted me then someone who didn't.


kaycersmom
by Katie on Sep. 25, 2012 at 8:08 PM
1 mom liked this

 worse to stay with the shitty parent who doesn't want them IMO

MommyTo5Boys
by Silver Member on Sep. 25, 2012 at 8:09 PM

 Give him up

Dontchawishuknu
by Silver Member on Sep. 25, 2012 at 8:10 PM

More long term damage would come from staying with a parent(s) who don't want you than would take place if you remembered them, but were raised by parents who loved you and wanted you.....JMHO

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Sep. 25, 2012 at 8:11 PM
Why did u not want him anymore?

ButterMeUp
by Butters on Sep. 25, 2012 at 8:12 PM

Both are just as bad. The statistical rates for both are a nightmare. This is why I'm pro choice. 

ButterMeUp
by Butters on Sep. 25, 2012 at 8:13 PM
2 moms liked this

but not everyone gets adopted, especially when you're talking about minorities. 

Quoting TiffanyRose06:

I'd rather be with parents who wanted me then someone who didn't.


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Saille717
by on Sep. 25, 2012 at 8:13 PM
1 mom liked this

Based solely on the opinion of a friend of mine, who had a really shitty mother and went in and out of foster care, he'd rather have been left with his mother and had to deal with things there then been without her.  Even when she was bad to him, even when she drank, even when her boyfriends beat him and his brother.  Nobody can replace Mom.  

I've found this seems to be true for many kids in rough situations....no matter what other adults may think about her, nobody else is Mom.  

So while I'd like to think that good adoptive parents are better than a lousy birth mother, I think after a certain age that's no longer true.  Though it should be....because a mom who would give up a child she's had for a handful of years because she just doesn't want him is a piece of shit of such epic proportions that I can't even wrap my mind around it.  

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