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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

How do I not let this ruin our relationship

Posted by on Sep. 26, 2012 at 11:49 AM
  • 48 Replies

My little sister got pregnant in the military.  She raised that baby for 2 years alone while her husband was in Germany until he left her one day.  He got custody of the baby eventually and now is not letting her talk to her son.  She is deployed so when she gets back she was talking about fighting for custody when she came home.  Now she is saying she isnt even going to attempt to see him again.  She says she hates her life and is never going to have kids again because of what he is doing to her.  He had a woman on the side when he left her so I am sure she is hurting about that still.  I live for my kids.  I could never say that they were a huge mistake and I wish I never had them.  I could never say I was going to give up and just see them when they turn 18.  I just need someone to give me things from her side.  I am really feeling a lot of animosity towards her.  I feel like she is being selfish and taking the easy road.

I am going to the store, so I will answer questions when I get back!

Daisypath Graduation tickers
by on Sep. 26, 2012 at 11:49 AM
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Replies (1-10):
cLanief
by on Sep. 26, 2012 at 11:51 AM
1 mom liked this
dude... Dont feel animosity... Its probably horribly tough on her and she has given up a bit. Dont be so quick to think shes even in the least happy about it. Shes probably screaming on the inside out of frustration at the situation.
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AllofFive19
by Ruby Member on Sep. 26, 2012 at 11:53 AM
1 mom liked this

It's hard to fight an uphill battle, even harder when you don't have support... Talk to her. Tell her that her son needs her. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Sep. 26, 2012 at 11:54 AM
3 moms liked this
You're not in her shoes, she sound like she is feeling powerless and is trying to deal with her anger. She need encourgement to keep fighting and hope that she will win one day.

She probably is worried that her son will not know her, won't want to be with her and of course that if she won her way into her son's life that her ex would find a way to slam the door shut in her face again.

She needs family right now, ignore what she says in anger and be there to support her.
Aislinn
by on Sep. 26, 2012 at 11:55 AM
2 moms liked this

 You cannot even begin to understand her heartache. You need to buck up and be there for your sister. Your opinion on the situation does not matter, IMO. She sounds depressed as hell. You need to get her help (VA... NOW!), not turn your back!

chels210
by on Sep. 26, 2012 at 11:56 AM
Sounds like she is incredibly depressed. She can't see her life being worth anything because her son is away from her. Maybe she can't see how she can ever get him back
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Melissa_4
by Ruby Member on Sep. 26, 2012 at 11:58 AM

It's not your life, or your child.  The best thing you can do is just be her sister.  Be there for when she's having a bad night.  You couldn't imagine your life without your child.  She didn't have much of a choice in the matter when she was deployed.   When she gets back, it's going to be a major battle to fight for custody, and she may not think she can win so why waste thousands of dollars for a losing battle?  I'm sure what she's going through is eating her alive.  Don't judge unless you've walked in her shoes. 

bgbootyho
by on Sep. 26, 2012 at 11:59 AM
:(
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Sep. 26, 2012 at 11:59 AM
1 mom liked this

Some people just aren't meant to be Moms. It's good that she can see that instead of fucking up her kid more by being in and out of his life.

MsSpice
by on Sep. 26, 2012 at 12:06 PM

I agree with this response.  Your sister is hurting right now.  Be supportive and give her the encouragement that she needs.  She probably wants to fight for her son, but doesn't know how.

Quoting Anonymous:

You're not in her shoes, she sound like she is feeling powerless and is trying to deal with her anger. She need encourgement to keep fighting and hope that she will win one day.

She probably is worried that her son will not know her, won't want to be with her and of course that if she won her way into her son's life that her ex would find a way to slam the door shut in her face again.

She needs family right now, ignore what she says in anger and be there to support her.


college.mom
by on Sep. 26, 2012 at 12:06 PM
Let me make it clear i'm not turning my back on her i'm trying to deal with my own feelings about this.
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