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My ex really asked me to let him stop paying child support UPDATE

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Yesterday, when my ex picked up the kids (we have 2 together) he had them go to the car and asked to speak with me. He said that his wife got laid off 2 months ago and hasn't been able to find a new job. He said they have it very hard financially because now he is supporting him, her and her 2 kids on his own, the only income she now has is the child support from her ex. I said, "well sorry, that sucks but why are you telling me this". He said that he needs me let him off the hook for child support, he pays $967 a month for the 2 kids. I said "so let me get this straight, you want to get out of supporting YOUR CHILDREN so that you can support your wife and her kids, no, if you don't pay every dime you owe, I will file a failure to pay motion." Seriously, I couldn't believe that he would even ask that. He said if he has to keep paying child support, they will have to more and her kids will have to move schools, again that sucks but it's not my  problem.

My ex dropped the kids at home last night and said "since YOU won't let me stop paying my child support and we still have 5 months left on our lease, we are screwed." He said it won't help that much to have her kids go live with her ex because then she wouldn't get child support and would have to pay something (it wouldn't be a lot because she isn't working but it would be something) and they are still in the same place so it's not like the kids being gone would let them get a smaller place. I said "listen your wife and her kids aren't your legal responsibility, our kids are so they should be the FIRST people you support. If it's really that bad tell her to get a fast food job or something but our kids have 2 employed parents, they should have to go without because your wife lost her job.

Posted by Anonymous on Sep. 29, 2012 at 3:31 PM
Replies (341-350):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 3, 2012 at 1:34 PM


Quoting skymama10:

If I got child support and it was almost a thousand dollars I'd agree to lower it for a little while.

Really, so you would tell your kids "sorry, you'll have to do with less for a while because your dad has to support his wife's kids over you". And he is not asking me to lower it, he is asking for me to let him not pay anything

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 3, 2012 at 1:36 PM


Quoting KColeman90:

 It is sad and I would feel for them truely but that doesn't mean that he's off the hook why can't he find a job?

He has his job, his wife lost her's and her income has nothing to do with child support so it doesn't make sense to lower it because she lost her income

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 3, 2012 at 1:37 PM

Wow, that was rude, this is an open forum, anyone can respond to any post.

Quoting Anonymous:

I missed the part where you needed to be a bitch and involve yourself in a conversation not related to you. Oh wait, that's just you huh. How unfortunate.


Quoting Lizard_Lina:

I missed the part where op says she uses the money on herself. Is there a quote I missed?




Quoting Anonymous:

He isn't asking to stop supporting them forever. He is asking for you to work with him. Imagine that, he actually thought you could act like a sensible adult.





Maybe if YOU lived within your means and didn't rely on child support to keep up your lifestyle it wouldn't be an issue.






Quoting Anonymous:

Please, explain to me how it's greedy for me to expect the father of my children to help financially support them BEFORE he support children who aren't his. Nothing bitter about that. Me and my ex aren't friends but we come together to do what's best for our kids, that includes both of us financially supporting them




Quoting Anonymous:

You're greedy and bitter. If I ever get divorced you are all the things I will strive not to be. I'm done with you.











Quoting Anonymous:






Quoting Anonymous:

I hope he takes your greedy ass to court and has it lowered.

Yeah, I want my kid's father to do his share to support them before he supports children who aren't his. If he takes me to court, it would probably get raised since he has gotten a raise but there is nothing in our situation that would lower it. So if he does take me, at the very worst, I'll walk out with the same child support order I have now and he'll look like an ass, at the best, he'll be ordered more money and look like a HUGE ass but his attorney already told him the judge won't lower it because his income hasn't gone down










skymama10
by Silver Member on Oct. 3, 2012 at 2:05 PM
My kid doesn't need to know about my finances period. She already deals with less because he doesn't pay at all. So yes I would still agree to lower it for a set amount of time to help a brother out. Just me.


Quoting Anonymous:



Quoting skymama10:

If I got child support and it was almost a thousand dollars I'd agree to lower it for a little while.

Really, so you would tell your kids "sorry, you'll have to do with less for a while because your dad has to support his wife's kids over you". And he is not asking me to lower it, he is asking for me to let him not pay anything


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Lizard_Lina
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 2:06 PM
If they were half his kids I would say maybe he needs a re-evaluation but I don't feel like he should stop supporting his to pay for hers. Where is the child support for her children? That's really who they need to be getting on. Their father.


Quoting Anonymous:

Nope, I never said that. I only said that if I had to do without the child support I would have to work more (I already work full time). Why should I have to work extra because his wife couldn't keep her job?


Quoting Lizard_Lina:

I missed the part where op says she uses the money on herself. Is there a quote I missed?





Quoting Anonymous:

He isn't asking to stop supporting them forever. He is asking for you to work with him. Imagine that, he actually thought you could act like a sensible adult.





Maybe if YOU lived within your means and didn't rely on child support to keep up your lifestyle it wouldn't be an issue.







Quoting Anonymous:

Please, explain to me how it's greedy for me to expect the father of my children to help financially support them BEFORE he support children who aren't his. Nothing bitter about that. Me and my ex aren't friends but we come together to do what's best for our kids, that includes both of us financially supporting them




Quoting Anonymous:

You're greedy and bitter. If I ever get divorced you are all the things I will strive not to be. I'm done with you.











Quoting Anonymous:






Quoting Anonymous:

I hope he takes your greedy ass to court and has it lowered.

Yeah, I want my kid's father to do his share to support them before he supports children who aren't his. If he takes me to court, it would probably get raised since he has gotten a raise but there is nothing in our situation that would lower it. So if he does take me, at the very worst, I'll walk out with the same child support order I have now and he'll look like an ass, at the best, he'll be ordered more money and look like a HUGE ass but his attorney already told him the judge won't lower it because his income hasn't gone down












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mommyof11050307
by Platinum Member on Oct. 3, 2012 at 2:09 PM
Where's her unemployment at? He should still have to pay his cs even if she did lose her job. If they can't afford for her to stay home she needs to go back to work.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 3, 2012 at 2:12 PM

As I understand it, she gets child support and it will probably get it raised because she lost her job but the raise won't come near to the amount that she was making from her job.

Quoting Lizard_Lina:

If they were half his kids I would say maybe he needs a re-evaluation but I don't feel like he should stop supporting his to pay for hers. Where is the child support for her children? That's really who they need to be getting on. Their father.


Quoting Anonymous:

Nope, I never said that. I only said that if I had to do without the child support I would have to work more (I already work full time). Why should I have to work extra because his wife couldn't keep her job?


Quoting Lizard_Lina:

I missed the part where op says she uses the money on herself. Is there a quote I missed?





Quoting Anonymous:

He isn't asking to stop supporting them forever. He is asking for you to work with him. Imagine that, he actually thought you could act like a sensible adult.





Maybe if YOU lived within your means and didn't rely on child support to keep up your lifestyle it wouldn't be an issue.







Quoting Anonymous:

Please, explain to me how it's greedy for me to expect the father of my children to help financially support them BEFORE he support children who aren't his. Nothing bitter about that. Me and my ex aren't friends but we come together to do what's best for our kids, that includes both of us financially supporting them




Quoting Anonymous:

You're greedy and bitter. If I ever get divorced you are all the things I will strive not to be. I'm done with you.











Quoting Anonymous:






Quoting Anonymous:

I hope he takes your greedy ass to court and has it lowered.

Yeah, I want my kid's father to do his share to support them before he supports children who aren't his. If he takes me to court, it would probably get raised since he has gotten a raise but there is nothing in our situation that would lower it. So if he does take me, at the very worst, I'll walk out with the same child support order I have now and he'll look like an ass, at the best, he'll be ordered more money and look like a HUGE ass but his attorney already told him the judge won't lower it because his income hasn't gone down













Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 3, 2012 at 2:14 PM


Quoting mommyof11050307:

Where's her unemployment at? He should still have to pay his cs even if she did lose her job. If they can't afford for her to stay home she needs to go back to work.

She will probably get it BUT it's going to be much less then she was making at her job so they will have a much lower income

Lizard_Lina
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 2:16 PM
1 mom liked this
Then if they move they move. Shit happens to familys all over. Did he call the phone company, the landlord, the utilities and say "hey my wife lost her job, can we stop paying you for a few months?" Probably not. His obligation to his children should be no different.


Quoting Anonymous:

As I understand it, she gets child support and it will probably get it raised because she lost her job but the raise won't come near to the amount that she was making from her job.


Quoting Lizard_Lina:

If they were half his kids I would say maybe he needs a re-evaluation but I don't feel like he should stop supporting his to pay for hers. Where is the child support for her children? That's really who they need to be getting on. Their father.





Quoting Anonymous:

Nope, I never said that. I only said that if I had to do without the child support I would have to work more (I already work full time). Why should I have to work extra because his wife couldn't keep her job?



Quoting Lizard_Lina:

I missed the part where op says she uses the money on herself. Is there a quote I missed?








Quoting Anonymous:

He isn't asking to stop supporting them forever. He is asking for you to work with him. Imagine that, he actually thought you could act like a sensible adult.







Maybe if YOU lived within your means and didn't rely on child support to keep up your lifestyle it wouldn't be an issue.










Quoting Anonymous:

Please, explain to me how it's greedy for me to expect the father of my children to help financially support them BEFORE he support children who aren't his. Nothing bitter about that. Me and my ex aren't friends but we come together to do what's best for our kids, that includes both of us financially supporting them





Quoting Anonymous:

You're greedy and bitter. If I ever get divorced you are all the things I will strive not to be. I'm done with you.














Quoting Anonymous:







Quoting Anonymous:

I hope he takes your greedy ass to court and has it lowered.

Yeah, I want my kid's father to do his share to support them before he supports children who aren't his. If he takes me to court, it would probably get raised since he has gotten a raise but there is nothing in our situation that would lower it. So if he does take me, at the very worst, I'll walk out with the same child support order I have now and he'll look like an ass, at the best, he'll be ordered more money and look like a HUGE ass but his attorney already told him the judge won't lower it because his income hasn't gone down


















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2girlsYES
by Platinum Member on Oct. 3, 2012 at 2:17 PM
So after you said that what did he say OP?


& by the way I think you are completely in the right here.
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