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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Confession: I think you were not with him long enough before you married him.

Posted by on Oct. 1, 2012 at 2:30 PM
  • 128 Replies

 

Poll

Question: How long were you with your SO before you got married? (or if you are unmarried, how long do you think people should wait in general?)

Options:

Less than one year.

One year.

Two-Three years.

More than three years.


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 284

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One of my friends from high school also went to the first year and a half of college with me. While we were there she had a serious boyfriend (who was a jerk and had issues) who she kept telling me she really wanted a baby with. I was the only one she told about thinking about getting pregnant with him, and she was devastated when he left her. I switched campuses this semester and haven't really talked to or seen her since we stopped having classes together.

I found out from my sister that the friend got engaged last month. To a completely different guy I have never heard of. And she just posted pictures on her Facebook today of her impromptu "wedding". I can't bring myself to congratulate her. My brother's fiance asked how long they have been together and she answered mid-July. Really? He was your boyfriend for 2 months and then you married him?

I can't help but assume that she only married someone so she could get pregnant. And I hate to judge but....2 months in a relationship with someone before you marry them? I was with my DH for 4 years before we got married!

CafeMom Tickers
by on Oct. 1, 2012 at 2:30 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Derari
by :::Achtung::: on Oct. 1, 2012 at 2:34 PM
3 moms liked this
In some cultures that 4 years might be considered absurd:) I think it would be nice if people could know whatever there is to know about one another in the first year or so...more than 2 years seems like a long time to not know if the person is right for you. But, it is a whole different ball game when you are married and live together day in and day out. Just pray people find compatibility so they can ride out the thought times that relationships go through.
FL2AK
by on Oct. 1, 2012 at 2:39 PM
4 moms liked this
We dated for 3 months and got married. We have been married for 10 years. We both knew what we wanted in a mate and we found it.
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cartersmommy407
by on Oct. 1, 2012 at 2:40 PM
1 mom liked this
Almost 5 years
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Oct. 1, 2012 at 2:41 PM
Almost 6 years.
egyptian_mommy
by Gold Member on Oct. 1, 2012 at 2:42 PM
2 1/2 years.
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AHmom103
by Gold Member on Oct. 1, 2012 at 2:43 PM
1 mom liked this

 We had been together for 13 months when we got married, but I knew by the time we'd been together for 3 months that I was going to marry him.

Taynhannahsmom
by on Oct. 1, 2012 at 2:43 PM
Together 4 and a half years before marriage.
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Bigmetalchicken
by Ruby Member on Oct. 1, 2012 at 2:43 PM
1 mom liked this

If you think it is a bad choice, do not congratulate her. You do not have to be honest, you can just be silent.  I have had several so called friends that have stopped being my friend because I did not gush over their new boyfriend, or wedding, or baby, or getting back together with their douchebag.  But I refuse to be someone that lies to my friends, because I would not want them to do that to me.  I do not praise stupid choices.


That being said, some people belong together. I knew within three dates that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with my husband.  I did not want to get married, but if marriage was what he wanted (after three years), then I was willing.

Rileyscute
by on Oct. 1, 2012 at 2:44 PM
1 mom liked this

I am not suggesting this for anyone...but..

I met my husband in November 1995, we got married in February of 1996

YES...we are still married..and quite happily

Momof5kids84
by on Oct. 1, 2012 at 2:44 PM
2 moms liked this
Same here. We will be married for 9 years in December. We have 5 beautiful kids together, and we're expecting our 6th. I don't think it takes long to know if it's right or not.

Quoting FL2AK:

We dated for 3 months and got married. We have been married for 10 years. We both knew what we wanted in a mate and we found it.
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