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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

do you believe in spanking? *EDIT*

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
I personally DO. First of all there is a BIG difference between spanking your kids and abuse. It's how I was raised and it's how my kids will be raised. Now jerking a child around, hitting them because you feel like it, leaving bruises, knocking them around, knocking them down, slapping in the face, pushing them into things, etc. To me that's abuse. A pop on the butt or hand and being told no when they are doing something they aren't suppose to do is discipline. I'm sorry but time outs and grounding only go so far. My 2 year old is better mannered and and more well behaved than my friends 4 and 7 year holds who have no discipline and just get yelled at, and her philosophy is well I'm not going to whip my kids for something they don't understand.... UUUMMMM that's exactly why there are 13 year olds telling their parents fuck you I don't have to listen to you, and 15 year olds getting pregnant at such a high rate. It's sad really. But I am a perfectly functional human being and I was spanked as a child. I don't understand why kids can get away with EVERYTHING today.

*EDIT* Probably should've put this in before but my 2 year old knows his boundaries and when me or my husband get that 'tone' he knows when he's gotten as far as he can go. We try to tell him at least twice before we spank him, but if he keeps doing the same thing again and again we will. But no I don't see a point in that being the only discipline a child gets but in some cases it is eventually needed.
Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 2, 2012 at 10:05 PM
Replies (11-20):
catchup29
by on Oct. 4, 2012 at 7:52 AM
1 mom liked this

Yes, I spanked my kids, usually with a belt, sans the buckle.  They are 22 and 19 now.  They are not violent, afraid of me, or socially inadpt.  They trust me and both have said that they will raise their children as I have them.  They have commented on how their friends should have been disaplined the way they were and maybe they wouldn't have gotten into trouble.



kmorales7690
by Ruby Member on Oct. 4, 2012 at 7:52 AM
2 moms liked this

 Idefinitely do! I don't feel bad when I have to spank my two year old, especially when she KNOWS what she is doing and is trying to test me

mom2cheesebug
by on Oct. 4, 2012 at 7:55 AM
I dont care if others spank, but i do not. My parents spanked out of anger and it turned into abuse. I will not let that happen to my kids so i find other forms of punishment that work just as well. Its very hard for people to not spank out of anger. Most parents that i see spank, do it while screaming at the child and in my opinion, they r frustrated and angry.
littlemonaghan
by Gold Member on Oct. 4, 2012 at 7:56 AM
1 mom liked this

No, I do not. 

I have occasionally popped DD's hand when she endangers herself, or repeatedly does the exact same action. She is still a toddler though. I see no point in smacking her bottom though if she repeatedly tries to touch the stove. Where is the correlation in that? Or if she throws her toys, or pulls the dogs tail, or breaks any other "rule" we have in the house.

There is no correlation. Her bum had nothing to do with the actions she committed.

Repeatedly try to touch the stove, pop her hand, she know knows to keep her hands away from things that could hurt her. 

Throws her toys, we take the toy away and redirect her to a different activity. She has now learned that when she throws toys, play time is over with that toy.

Pulls the dogs tail, we help her gently pet the dog and then remove her to something else. She learns the correct way to treat the dog and also that being mean to him means she can no longer play with him. 

Ect ect.

Smacking a bottom serves no purpose.

Positive disciple and redirection work much better, without all the mentally damaging side effects, however minor, or undetected they may be.

I also teach preschool, and have studied the methods of positive discipline and redirection and have seen classrooms transform from total chaos to perfectly well ordered, and respectful kids. When they occasionally step out of line, all I need to do is catch their gaze from my position in the room, give them a stern look and they will right away correct their behavior. If that doesn't work, a snap of my finger, or signally that I am now counting to 3 works instantly. I very very seldom have to redirect my students. (even if i was pro spanking, which i'm not, they school policy does not promote hitting anyway. but my point is, that here is an environment where there is strictly no corporal punishment, and they behave excellently)

Also....I could give a monkey's tail how anyone else disciplines their child. Not my baby, not my buisness. 

dian0243
by Member on Oct. 4, 2012 at 12:37 PM
2 moms liked this

Yes, and I don't mean a quick swat (other than for a toddler). I mean a real spanking--leaving a pink smarting tush and tears. I think the ritual of a spanking is important to drive home the message.


sfkdny
by Platinum Member on Oct. 4, 2012 at 12:39 PM

It is in my bag of tricks but I try other methods first - unfortunately, the only thing my dd responds to is me raising my voice or one-two swats on the butt - she usually gets in trouble for mouthing off / being disrespectful to me or her daddy

DaiTilley
by Gold Member on Oct. 4, 2012 at 12:39 PM
1 mom liked this
Every child and every family is different. I can count on one hand the number of times I was spanked, and I don't think my parents were in the wrong for doing so, but I think many parents are to spank-happy.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Oct. 4, 2012 at 12:40 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting dian0243:

Yes, and I don't mean a quick swat (other than for a toddler). I mean a real spanking--leaving a pink smarting tush and tears. I think the ritual of a spanking is important to drive home the message.


My grandfather use to have degrees, warm pink, pink and red....but what was worse with him, is he would make you actually go and get your own stick off the tree...a weeping wilow that was outside.  I have to say, looking at that tree now, when I visit family, it makes me laugh to know that 7 generations of my family got their asses beat from that tree!  LOL

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 4, 2012 at 12:47 PM
Quoting catchup29:

Yes, I spanked my kids, usually with a belt, sans the buckle.  They are 22 and 19 now.  They are not violent, afraid of me, or socially inadpt.  They trust me and both have said that they will raise their children as I have them.  They have commented on how their friends should have been disaplined the way they were and maybe they wouldn't have gotten into trouble.




Thank you! I don't believe that spanking traumatizes a person. I think the majority of the studies done on adults that were 'spanked' as a child were probably done so when the parents were angry or were abused. I too look at friends I had growing up and the differences in the way we were disciplined and the ones who were grounded or had things taken from them were pretty much out of control which is one reason we aren't friends today. I even had friends parents ask ME what they could do to make their child act more like I did. I will ne the first to admit that I was not perfect growing up and did get influenced to do or try things but I seen what it done to thoes people and I am so thankful for the way I was brought up.
Redwoods_Mama
by Platinum Member on Oct. 4, 2012 at 12:49 PM

No.  I have a largely obedient, unspanked four year old to show for it.

 

The sceret is making your words actually mean something.  No whining at the child to stop, get off your ass and go stop him, lol.

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