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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

would you judge this woman?

lets say you know a woman, she used to have problem with drugs, after staying clean for a year, her bf beats her up and leaves her (because she doesn't approve of him drinking) alone with 2 kids, she spirals into depression, and ends up leaving her kids with her mom and takes off and relapses.

2 months into her relapse, she realises she is pregnant, by her druggie bf. 

scared to go home, ashamed of what she has done, she quits drugs on her own, tells her mom everything is ok, and stays with the loser bf.

then one night, he tries to kill her and her unborn child.

she manages to escape, and ends up couch surfing, because there is no family near enough to help her. he promises to change and begs her forgivness, sick of couch surfing, she goes back.

a month later, he tries to kill her again. 

this time,she calls the police and puts him in jail, packs her bags, and goes home to her mothers, a 3 day drive away. 

her life is in flux, she is a recovering addict (she quit when she found out about the baby) and has 2 children already, 1 whom her mother has raised since she was 15, and another who she placed with her mom while she relapsed. 

determined to stay clean and be a good mom, she makes a hard choice, to learn to be a mother to the 2 children she already has, and focus on recovery, and in order to do that, she decides that she needs to put the child she is carrying up for adoption, just in case she cannot stay clean.

she finds the perfect family, a nice young couple, and the adoption process begins. 

she is scared the stress of a new baby along with learning to be a mother again will be too much for her, she is scared of relapsing. she is scared of putting her kids through hell. again. so she gives her little baby girl up, and keeps working on herself. 

she meets a really nice farm boy, he loves her despite her faults, they meet when she is 7 months preg with the baby she is giving up.

he stands by her, and is there for her and loves her. he treats her children as her own, and is supportive of her decision regarding adoption.

5 years later, they are still together, she is still clean, and is a good wife and mother. 

she has tried her best to make amends for the damage her addiction has caused. 

her oldest still lives with her mother, (although she tried to have him with her, he just wasn't happy, and they had a hard time bonding, ) but she got herself in check in time to save her relationship with the younger one.

4 years after first meeting her farm boy, they have a baby:) and then they get married:) and are now expecting another child. 

do you judge her and begrudge her this child because of her past? (she has 6 years clean now)


Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 3, 2012 at 2:01 PM
Replies (21-30):
JakesMom712
by Ruby Member on Oct. 3, 2012 at 2:15 PM
Nope. She made mistakes and did her best to make things right
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bustybee
by Buzz Lightyear on Oct. 3, 2012 at 2:15 PM

no. shit happens. she up and dealt with it. no harsh judgements from me as long as she is happy

Luna091306
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 2:15 PM
2 moms liked this
No. Life is very hard for some people. Lord knows I haven't done things right and have made many bad choices. It's never too late to change and wanting to do so is what matters. I would actually admire someone who went through so much and came out on top.
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Sunshine257
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 2:15 PM
Because she lost her relationship with her first child. Her middle child had to spend a long time away from mom. It must have been hard for them to go through that. I feel sorry for the mother for her poor choices and for the same reasons I feel that way about the children.


Quoting Anonymous:

why would you feel sorry for them?

Quoting Sunshine257:

I would feel sorry for her and her children but I wouldn't judge her.



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BluePandaDreams
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 2:16 PM
It isn't my place to judge her past, but I would celebrate her successes today and hope she has a successful future.
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nocalmegan
by Ruby Member on Oct. 3, 2012 at 2:16 PM
2 moms liked this
No I wouldn't. I hear addiction is a really tough road. To be clean for 6 years and to get clean on her own after finding out she was pregnant is a HUGE accomplishment. She should be very proud of herself.
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Mommy2_two
by Bronze Member on Oct. 3, 2012 at 2:16 PM

Nope. People make mistakes and she made a real effort to change.

sarah427
by Gold Member on Oct. 3, 2012 at 2:18 PM
1 mom liked this
I couldn't say it better, so I'm quoting it! :)


Quoting nocalmegan:

No I wouldn't. I hear addiction is a really tough road. To be clean for 6 years and to get clean on her own after finding out she was pregnant is a HUGE accomplishment. She should be very proud of herself.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Oct. 3, 2012 at 2:18 PM
1 mom liked this
Once someone is an addict, they are always an addict. I wouldn't have bad feelings towards her, nor would I judge or begrudge. She left her kids in safe hands and did what she thought was best ( which was at the time) for the baby. She got her life together and had more kids. Coming from a long family of addicts(not myself) I know how hard it is to become "Normal" again. I commend her.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on Oct. 3, 2012 at 2:18 PM
Oh but she is perfect and does no wrong. Of course she judges you and will always expect the worse from you. She is the best thing since sliced bread and Jesus Christ all wrapped into one.



Quoting Anonymous:

so no matter how good she does, or how good a mom she is now, her years clean, all of this, you would still look at her like she is a pos and expect her to be a pos because she made bad choices as a teenager? no matter how good she is doing now? that's nice.

Quoting Dzyre1115:

 I judge all bad decisions, because those decisions leave a trail of tears.  There is no sense in looking back, because nothing can be changed, but in truth I would not trust that person to make the right decisions forever, and would expect the worst.


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