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Sometimes I'm so depressed I wanna just die.

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Myself, DF, DS (2yrs), My mother, Her Partner and my 4 siblings (16yrs Girl, 11yrs Boy, 9yrs Girl and 5yrs Girl) all live together in a house that is Dual Living (two houses in one) but I NEED out.

I'm sick of being screamed at, Being told by mum that I'm not a decent mother yet I feed, Bath, Dress, Change, completely care for my son and she only says this when shes mad or that I'm a worthless daughter. I will go out maybe once a month with DF but thats when DS is asleep and doesnt even know we have left him. I pay my way by far! We pay $1000 towards the household monthly and on top of that I pay for meals for everyone, Take them out for dinner and such.

She tells me that shes starting to not like her own grandson because "she" is forced to take care of him and I swear to god she doesn't I DO.

Everytime I'm mad I try and walk away she follows me screaming at me, calling me names and telling me that she will tell the world how much of a disgrace I am.

I want to cry. I want her to be proud of me.

I paid for ALL the kids haircuts this week because she could not afford them and they really needed them. I give her A LOT of extra money without DF knowing and Just lie to him about where it goes.

I'm Destroying my relationship with my own guilt because I want my mum to lay off me.

2 year old DS see all of this and I DONT WANT HIM GROWING AROUND IT!

My sister is a spoilt brat that gets anything she wants. I mean anything.

For her 16th Birthday she got over $500 spend on her and all she does is scream at my mum, steal my make-up and tells everyone their cunts, moles, fuckwits ect ect.

I think she hates me because I had my first baby at 16yrs old and that shameful. But I am not on welfare, I do not leave my son with her ever, I take care of him, I pay for everything for him, I'm drug free and yet I still feel like a bad mom thats failing.

Sometimes we have really good days. Others are just fucked up.

I can get a bank loan of $156,000 with monthly repayments of $900.00 cheaper then what we pay here and the extra money I secretly hand over and we can buy a house but DF job is only on call at the hospital so I dont know if I should take the chance of not having the money one month.

If you have a nasty comment to me about any of this put it in a tasteful way so I can work on whatever it is please.

Everyone just puts me down all the time

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by on Oct. 4, 2012 at 7:32 AM
Replies (11-14):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Oct. 4, 2012 at 7:50 AM
Move out
benandarasmom
by on Oct. 4, 2012 at 7:50 AM
I think you should just move out. Maybe, just maybe, your mother needs to grow up and worry about her own family. If it were me, I would have done been gone. Your son doesn't need to see/hear all that! Good luck Hun!
krunchykorn
by on Oct. 4, 2012 at 7:51 AM

BUMP!

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Oct. 4, 2012 at 8:05 AM
1 mom liked this
You need to do what's best for your SON. Forget about yourself, and focuse on what's healthy for him. I can see you love your mom, but she is hurting him by acting this way around him. Grow up, move out, get an apartment. If you pay 1000 there+, you should definetly be able to get an apartment. By continuing to stay there you are being extremely selfish and not providing the best environment possible for your child.
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