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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Ive made a HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE mistake!

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 214 Replies
1 mom liked this

This is NOT an anti-adoption post!! I believe adoption is WONDERFUL in so many situations!! If the child is coming into an abusive home, drugs/alcohol, a parent/parents that can not afford a child, teens.. there are SO many situation where i feel adoption is an amazing option... I just feel I made the wrong choice for MY situation

I had my baby adopted :*( He is 2 and a half weeks old. They took him right from the hosptial. I had not educated myself enough to make the decision. A bit of the backstory.. I was raped and the child was conceived. My husband convinced me the only choice I had was to have him adopted (my husband had a vasectomy so we know hes from the rape). I decided to do what my husband wanted (my marriage was more important to me than what I felt in my heart). I chose an amazing family. However, they are several states away. They came and the adoption agency said they get him right from the hospital. I didnt look into it and just went along with everything because I wanted everyone to be happy. Well, now that hes gone Ive been so depressed. Its not that we didnt have the means to take care of him ourselves. We live in a beautiful newer neighborhood, in a large home. My other children go to an amazing private school. They are involved in sports and music. We have a very nurturing home (no abuse, no drug or alcohol use). So I've been researching about the effects on both him and myself. Had I known that HE was suffering just as much as me right now, there is NO WAY I would have done this!!! I just assumed Id be the one to suffer and he wouldnt know any better since he was taken so young. I just wanted everyone else to be happy. I just cant believe I didnt even THINK to research about the effects on my BABY!!! The adoption agent just wanted him adopted so she kept saying I was doing what was best.. but now that I look at it, I WASNT!!! Whats best is for him to be with his birth mother!! I have a wonderful environment for him to be in and, I just am disgusted with myself right now.. and now its too late to do anything about it!! I feel SO guilty right now! I love my son more than words can say and it BREAKS me to know hes going through the trauma of this as well.. that will effect him for life. I just wish I would have educated myself and maybe had a little support from the agency in doing so. I dont know if I will ever be able to forgive myself for this. I miss my son so much and just want him back..

this is from one of the articles ...

Scientific research now reveals that as early as the second trimester, the human fetus is capable of auditory processing and in fact, is capable of processing rejection in utero. In addition to the rejection and abandonment felt by the newborn adoptee or any age adoptee for that matter, it must be recognized that the far greater trauma often times occurs in the way in which the mind and body system of the newborn is incapable of processing the loss of the biological figure. Far beyond any cognitive awareness, this experience is stored deep within the cells of the body, routinely leading to states of anxiety and depression for the adopted child later in life.

Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 4, 2012 at 8:56 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Oct. 4, 2012 at 8:59 AM
24 moms liked this

i get the feeling this is an anti adoption troll post

weezer_cookie
by Platinum Member on Oct. 4, 2012 at 8:59 AM
1 mom liked this
I cant judge you. That must be so hard. But would you agree that he is probably with good people? Take comfort in knowing he is loved. If you're really having trouble, you should seek a therapist.
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gypsy_rose
by Kandy on Oct. 4, 2012 at 9:00 AM
3 moms liked this
most states give you a timeperiod That you can get your child back. Call list and see what they say. in New Hampshire at 6 months.
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SB2217
by Silver Member on Oct. 4, 2012 at 9:01 AM
Can you get him back? I thought there was a time period where the mom could retract the adoption and get the baby back.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Oct. 4, 2012 at 9:01 AM
1 mom liked this
Don't you have 30 days to change your mind ?
lucky2Beeme
by Ruby Member on Oct. 4, 2012 at 9:02 AM

Oh momma I am so sorry. I have no experience in this. I think you should seek counseling to help you deal. It might help for your husband to go to so he can understand what you are feeling. My heart hurts for you.Huge hugs. I wish I could take your pain away.

armywifey26
by Krissy on Oct. 4, 2012 at 9:03 AM
1 mom liked this

this

Quoting gypsy_rose:

most states give you a timeperiod That you can get your child back. Call list and see what they say. in New Hampshire at 6 months.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Oct. 4, 2012 at 9:03 AM
Isn't there like a 30 period which you can get your child back? I know there's some time frame because I have a friend that gave a baby up and changed her mind. Check in to it and fast.
karenhep
by Member on Oct. 4, 2012 at 9:04 AM
In some state u could get him back up to six months old
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Aislinn
by Platinum Member on Oct. 4, 2012 at 9:04 AM
1 mom liked this

 It has only been two and a half weeks. Have you received any counseling? This is not something that is just going to go away, Hon. It is going to take some time. Call the agency. Tell them you need to talk to someone, ASAP. (((hugs)))

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