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child custody issue, who is right?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
I have sole custody of our ds. Xdh has no court ordered visitation, but I allow him to see ds twice a month for three hours each time.
Here's our issue. Xdh owes about 10k in back support, he hasn't made a payment in over a year. Because of that I can barely afford ds preschool tuition. He will be starting kindergarten next year. Looking into the private schools, I can not afford it unless xdh pays his child support. Since obviously I can not depend on that, I am looking into moving to the suburbs where the schools are better. I can commute to work, and save money because I don't have to pay tuition. Xdh lives 2.5 hours away from us now, if we move he will live 3.5 hours away. He doesn't want me to move because we'll be too far away and it'll be harder to see ds. He's threatening to take me to court if we move.
Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 4, 2012 at 11:13 AM
Replies (21-30):
lilmoosesmom
by Cat on Oct. 4, 2012 at 11:23 AM

also random thought, most judges, if the man isn't paying the court ordered child support, and they know it, the man can end up in Jail (at least the states Ive lived.) So with that being said, does he really want to take you to court, no he's pulling strings to scare you. because clearly he doesn't want to see his child much, so why should an extra hour of driving really bother him?

AllofFive19
by Ruby Member on Oct. 4, 2012 at 11:23 AM

When you go to court, make sure you bring all forms of documentation with you. Anything and everything. 

illinoismommy83
by on Oct. 4, 2012 at 11:23 AM

Encourage him to take you to court. It would be lovely for you to get that back child support.

Kids need their dads, but kids also need food and clothes and its his job to help provide that stuff. A hug twice a month won't keep your kid warm over the winter.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Oct. 4, 2012 at 11:24 AM
He is self employed which is why I havent gotten any money. They took his license about six months ago. He still drives without it.


Quoting bry36:

 He cant prevent you from moving unless you are moving out of state but if he takes you to court he will probably just get screwed as far as how he has to pay his support (like as in he will have to have it pulled right out of his checks before he even sees it ) or they will take away his licence until hes current


BekkieBoodle
by on Oct. 4, 2012 at 11:26 AM
If you have sole custody you make the rules. Let him take you to court... He's gonna be on the losing end...
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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Oct. 4, 2012 at 11:26 AM
I've reported him twice this year. The first time he claimed hardship (which was bullshit) the second they took his license.


Quoting justpeachy71904:

Where's the ? I don't see one?



Obviously do what's best for you. If you have to move to support the kid move.



Is cs court ordered? If not he won't owe anything in arrears. If so yea he will be in trouble but why might I ask didn't you report him? Sort.of silly

BrennaLyons
by on Oct. 4, 2012 at 11:29 AM

You have to do what is best for your child. If he takes you to court, he does. The courts won't like how far behind he is on support to begin with. Let him have fun explaining that. You have full custody, so moving further away is entirely your choice, unless the paperwork says you can't. The paperwork doesn't usually cover short moves like that, in my experience. Usually longer moves...like out of state.

Ms.Pteranodon
by Platinum Member on Oct. 4, 2012 at 11:29 AM

After all this info let him take you... he will loose. 


Quoting Anonymous:

He is self employed which is why I havent gotten any money. They took his license about six months ago. He still drives without it.


Quoting bry36:

 He cant prevent you from moving unless you are moving out of state but if he takes you to court he will probably just get screwed as far as how he has to pay his support (like as in he will have to have it pulled right out of his checks before he even sees it ) or they will take away his licence until hes current



CafeMom Tickers
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Oct. 4, 2012 at 11:31 AM

If hes only seeing his kid twice a month (unless that is all you will allow?) I am pretty sure he won't really be all that heart broken if you move another hour away.  I would move too if meant my child would be in a better school system.  Do what you know is best for you and your child, Mama.  Maybe if he takes you to court he can tell them when you can expect your child support payments.

bry36
by Gold Member on Oct. 4, 2012 at 11:31 AM

 Ya men the whole CS system is a joke really I was granted 50 (I know right !50 haha) and have yet to see a dime of that I was only awarded that much because he has 3 older DDs and my son is the youngest the cost of there child support is more than 50% of his income and that all they can take ,so he pays that every month and is still in the rears for them so my son whose his youngest has never receivedanything.Luckily I am able to provide for us just fine without it and always have been abel to but I cant imagine having to have it to live off of thats just to scary for me since it could just stop at any time if they get laid off or fired or become self employeed just to stressful to me to deal with

Quoting Anonymous:

He is self employed which is why I havent gotten any money. They took his license about six months ago. He still drives without it.


Quoting bry36:

 He cant prevent you from moving unless you are moving out of state but if he takes you to court he will probably just get screwed as far as how he has to pay his support (like as in he will have to have it pulled right out of his checks before he even sees it ) or they will take away his licence until hes current



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