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Is it my fault when a man looks down my shirt?? My husband blames me!!

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My husband and I have a small restaurant.  One of our employees looks down my shirt on occasion when I am quickly bending over while working.  I did not even know it was happening until my husband starting getting mad at me about it.  So I make an effort not to bend over i front of this employee but sometimes when we are busy I forget and it happens.  I just can't believe how mad my husband gets at me.  I think he should be mad at our pervert employee and tell him to stop doing that or ask him "what are you looking at"  But instead my husband yells at me.  Am I wrong to think the problem is the employee and not me?  My husband thinks I do not know how to dress like a women.  My clothes are not low cut or revealing. What do I do?  Please help.

by on Oct. 4, 2012 at 7:20 PM
Replies (101-107):
lachica
by on Oct. 5, 2012 at 10:06 AM

In case anyone is still paying attention and would like to know the outcome of the situation... Also I have never posted anything before and I did this beause I felt I needed help and advise because I don't have all the answers and understand maybe I am wrong. 

So when husband came home last night he did not want to talk about how he kicked me out of the restaurant, so I told him well I am going to tell employee to stop looking at me inappropriatly and he told me not to because it was not just the employee but customers too.  So I asked him why he did not just tell me that instead of yelling at me and degrading me infront of everyone.  Because I did not even like what I was wearing but I have very limited clothing selection and no money to buy more.  Most of my clothes are from the thrift store.  So I do the best I can.  My intention is not to look slutty or show myself to people.  He said I bent over in front of the counter to get the beans and customers had a show too.  I am super embarrased.  I wish he would talk to me with respect but he is treating me like I am inviting this.  The shirt I had on is also over 5 years old.  He has never told me anything about it before.  And I have worn this to work before.  

Conclusion...I am fired.  I am no longer to go to the restaurant.  Maybe this is a blessing in disguise but I feel horrible and humiliated that my husband fired me from a place that I helped to build.  I feel horrible on so many different levels.  

Thanks to everyone who got involved in the conversation.  I will reevaluate my wardrobe.  Thanks.


DebnDrew
by on Oct. 5, 2012 at 11:37 AM

that employee needs to be warned, documented and the fired. Perhaps if your husband sees you taking a stand against him, he won't be so upset. Call the guy in. Lt him know you have noticed/been made aware of his oglng, and document the conversation. Givew him an opportunity to defend himself, then let him know it is not appropriate and ask other trusted staff to be vigilant......this employee may be ogling customers as well. If it continues, he needs to go.

Laurin283
by on Oct. 6, 2012 at 9:24 AM

Put on a shirt that entirely covers your chest, and it will stop.  Even if it's not low cut, it still will show your chest when you bend.  See if it's the same with a turtleneck..I bet it's not.  He's right to be upset- that's HIS and another man is seeing it.  

Laurin283
by on Oct. 6, 2012 at 9:25 AM

But I'm sorry your husband wasn't more kind and gentle when talking to you about it.

militarywife09
by on Oct. 6, 2012 at 9:25 AM
Like that will help if you have relatively big boobs. Believe me. Lol


Quoting lucky2Beeme:

wear a camisole problem solved.


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lucky2Beeme
by Ruby Member on Oct. 6, 2012 at 9:26 AM


Quoting militarywife09:

Like that will help if you have relatively big boobs. Believe me. Lol


Quoting lucky2Beeme:

wear a camisole problem solved.


 I have D cup and they work very well esp the nylon ones shaped like a vneck top.

Surround yourself with people that add to your life not subtract from it.

militarywife09
by on Oct. 6, 2012 at 9:47 AM
Yeah not for me.


Quoting lucky2Beeme:


Quoting militarywife09:

Like that will help if you have relatively big boobs. Believe me. Lol





Quoting lucky2Beeme:

wear a camisole problem solved.



 I have D cup and they work very well esp the nylon ones shaped like a vneck top.


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