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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Is it my fault when a man looks down my shirt?? My husband blames me!!

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My husband and I have a small restaurant.  One of our employees looks down my shirt on occasion when I am quickly bending over while working.  I did not even know it was happening until my husband starting getting mad at me about it.  So I make an effort not to bend over i front of this employee but sometimes when we are busy I forget and it happens.  I just can't believe how mad my husband gets at me.  I think he should be mad at our pervert employee and tell him to stop doing that or ask him "what are you looking at"  But instead my husband yells at me.  Am I wrong to think the problem is the employee and not me?  My husband thinks I do not know how to dress like a women.  My clothes are not low cut or revealing. What do I do?  Please help.

by on Oct. 4, 2012 at 7:20 PM
Replies (71-80):
AnastasiaKorsh
by on Oct. 4, 2012 at 8:34 PM

How often does he talk to you like that?

Quoting lachica:

You are the second person to tell me he sounds emotional abusive.  A previous female employee told me that.  She has since quit because of how my husband got an attitude with her in the kitchen.


lachica
by on Oct. 4, 2012 at 8:37 PM

Ok I have to tell employee even though it is going to be very hard for me.  And hopefully my husband will calm down.  

PandTsmomjuly
by Florence on Oct. 4, 2012 at 8:39 PM
No, I hadn't read that.

I think the husband is being abusive then. There's nothing she could do to improve the situation.

Sorry op!

Quoting AnastasiaKorsh:

She could.

But honestly, I think the problem here is her husband and the employee. Instead of placing blame where it belongs her husband is taking it out her, that is totally uncalled for. I don't know if you read but when she was cleaning up a spill today her husband yelled at her "just get naked in the kitchen!" and sent her home. That is NO way to behave. He sounds like he has some really serious control issues. And while OP can buy things like cami's to cover with a second layer, she shouldn't HAVE to do those things. Because this situation should have been handled by her husband telling their employee that oogling his wife is inappropriate.

Quoting PandTsmomjuly:

Just a suggestion.



My mom has these things she clips to her bra straps that cover cleavage. She got them at Target. Maybe something like that OP?



Quoting AnastasiaKorsh:

Except for when as she stated in the op when it gets busy, she forgets. I know I wouldn't remember to cover my chest every time I bend over throughout the day, especially if I was working during a rush hour.

Quoting PandTsmomjuly:

When you bend over cover your chest with your hand.



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lachica
by on Oct. 4, 2012 at 8:40 PM

We have had the restaurant for 9 months and in this time he has been pretty shitty with me on numerous occasions, even in front of customers.  I did leave him for a weekend and then felt bad and went back.  I know we have some major issues and this illustrates it very well.  It is very stressfull and I keep making that excuse for him.

Mcelly
by on Oct. 4, 2012 at 8:48 PM

Boobs have special powers, when someone sees boobs, one cannot look away.  Wear an undershirt, its very hard, if not impossible for men to look away.

AnastasiaKorsh
by on Oct. 4, 2012 at 8:50 PM

Well, its good that you realize your making excuses for him. Opening a business can be very stressful, but maybe the two of your would benefit with some counseling. It may be more than just the shirt issue.

I'm sorry OP.

Quoting lachica:

We have had the restaurant for 9 months and in this time he has been pretty shitty with me on numerous occasions, even in front of customers.  I did leave him for a weekend and then felt bad and went back.  I know we have some major issues and this illustrates it very well.  It is very stressfull and I keep making that excuse for him.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 9 on Oct. 4, 2012 at 8:51 PM

Wear a diff type of shirt?


Why don't you post a picture of the shirt you wear at work?

LizzieAnnesMom
by ☆Mrs.Winchester☆ on Oct. 4, 2012 at 8:53 PM

You need to tell him that. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 10 on Oct. 4, 2012 at 8:56 PM
Men are assholes. Tell him to fuck off. He doesn't own you.
PinkieRed
by on Oct. 4, 2012 at 8:57 PM
Then your husband is a jerk, and an idiot for taking his friend's side over his wife's. His friend ought to have more respect for you, as his friend's and boss's wife. I'm sorry.

Quoting lachica:

Please keep in mind it is over 90 degrees in our kitchen and I have suggested to my husband would you like me to wear t-shirts that go up to my neck line but come on I am slightly overweight and t-shirts look like shit on me and I would I would sweat to death and I have to serve customers food.  I don't want to look like that.  I am a d-cup so they are hard to hide.  I just makes me so sad that my husband yells at me instead of this guy.  Did I mention he is a friend of my husband?  They were friends before we opened the restaurant.

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