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My friend said she is not going to pay her DH's child support

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

 

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Question: Who do you think is right?

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My friend

Her DH


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My friend is a mom to 2 and a step mom 2. She is a PA (physician's assistant) and her DH owned a small business until recently but it went under and so now he is looking for a job. She told him that until he gets another job, he needs to let his ex know that he will only be paying child support based on the unemployment checks he will be getting, not the over $700 a month he was paying. It is court ordered but she said all he has to do is file for a modification since he isn't making the money he was. He said "well it's not fair to her, she still has to support the kids" and my friend said "well yeah, but I still have to support my kids, why should I have to pay the child support?" I think they both have good points but to me, my friend's makes the most sense, why should the money she makes go to paying her DH's child support? She has kids to support too and now she is supporting the whole household one just her income.

Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 5, 2012 at 10:46 AM
Replies (21-30):
catrig
by Platinum Member on Oct. 5, 2012 at 11:01 AM

I think that he should file for a modification.  I also think she should help out if she can.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 9 on Oct. 5, 2012 at 11:02 AM
10 moms liked this

WOW  I am so glad that I don't have to deal with this type of thing.  My husband could not run his business for 14 months because he was recovering from health issues.   His child support checks were not once late.  Why?  Because I paid them.  Why?  Because he is MY husband.  When I was out of work for 4 months he gladly paid expenses for MY children that I could not.  Because I am his wife.  To top that?  When my ex husband was out of work because of illness his new wife payed child support for my children.  What is with all this  "its not my problem" stuff?  Thats what adults do when children are involved.  You step up to the plate and do whats best for them. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Oct. 5, 2012 at 11:02 AM
1 mom liked this

Yes, she makes a good living, she also has a pile of debt because of going to school for that long, also, because she makes so much, she doesn't get child support from her ex for the children that live with her. Step kids are not the same as kids you have yourself, legally, you have so right or obligation to you step kids, even morally, most people would agree that a step parent (in most cases) doesn't have the same right to the child as the parent does. I get child support too but I know that if my ex were to loose his job, the child support would be reduced dramatically, and I plan financially according to that. Hopefully, her step kid's mom is smart enough to realize that as well. I love how so many moms are so quick to say that SM isn't a parent (which I agree with) BUT is also so quick to say that if dad can't pay his child support, SM should.

Quoting Anonymous:

if she is a PA then she is making a good living...she should have more than enough to help out.  plus they are HER STEPCHILDREN.  i know some woman on here dont think stepkids count but in my book they are no different than a child you had yourself.  she is being selfish.


DaiTilley
by Gold Member on Oct. 5, 2012 at 11:02 AM
My husband's money & bills are my money & bills.
Plus she is a stepMOM to those children; why is she not concerned for their wellbeing?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
RLT2
by on Oct. 5, 2012 at 11:03 AM

She married him knowing the situation, so, oh well.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Oct. 5, 2012 at 11:03 AM
3 moms liked this


Quoting Anonymous:

His child support is refigured based on her income and his unemployment payments.  So, both of them are kind of right.  SMH

Child support has nothing to do with step parent's income, at least here in our county

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Oct. 5, 2012 at 11:04 AM

Are her kids their kids?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Oct. 5, 2012 at 11:04 AM

I've only ever seen SM's reminded of that when they decide to be bitches and make trouble for the man because he has to talk to his ex, or when the SM treats his kids like crap because of jealousy or she doesn't think he should have to support his kids from his first marriage, or some other petty crap. 

But in this case, no they aren't her responsibility.  She could at least be a decent person, try to help with a solution and remember the same thing could come her way.  She could lose her job, or if she is getting child support from her ex and he loses his job, and have her husband say none of his pay goes to her kids since they aren't his responsibility.  But then that would be different probably.  At least on CM anyway.

Quoting momof6nokc:

I agree with your friend. As SM's are reminded on a daily basis on CM "THEY ARE NOT YOUR KIDS!!!! YOU NEED TO LEARN YOUR PLACE AND LEAVE THE PARENTING TO THE REAL PARENTS!!!!".
So, financial support is between the "real" parents ;o)

 

.oOMellyOo.
by Silver Member on Oct. 5, 2012 at 11:04 AM
1 mom liked this

isn't this something for the court to decide? You ask for CS modification....

Anonymous
by Anonymous 10 on Oct. 5, 2012 at 11:04 AM
1 mom liked this

not in my state it's not.  CS is based on father only.

Quoting Anonymous:

His child support is refigured based on her income and his unemployment payments.  So, both of them are kind of right.  SMH


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