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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Martha called me...

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
Sorry i have been away.

I got a call from Martha. She was asking if I'd like to move in with her. I of course told her no thanks. She offered to have my son live there. I said no, he's my kid. She said she would pay a good amount. I kept saying no. Hello woman! No! She admitted she indeed was a witch.

She said she wanted to cleanse us of our evil ness. I told her we were not evil. She said we are because we hate people with black hair. I hung up on her.

I picked up my son from school. I called movers. We took a long while. But we moved. I changed his school. We changed our numbers. Clearly Martha is after us. She kept mentioning black hair. You guys might have been right to say she had black hair. I don't know.

Kevin gave my son a hug and kiss when we were leaving the school. We didnt mention we were never coming back. I didn't ask my son but I thought that was really odd. I do feel bad that Kevin and my son have lost a good friend. But it's Martha's fault.

My son is upset. He wants to live with Kevin or Martha. But I told him "I pushed you out of my vagina, I have every right to you. I own you. Look at these stretch marks you brat!" He asked if we could compromise and he could start drinking chocolate milk again. I said no of course. Would you like to dye your hair back too!? Not happening. I don't know why he's asking such stupid questions. I raised him smarter than that.

Well we like our new house. But my son doesn't have a bedroom. He sleeps on my floor. We have no milk or chocolate in the house. I did buy him Spider-Man underwear but he only wears the Cinderella ones. I will buy him more if he does well with home schooling. We don't leave the house much.

I hope Martha stays away. She is freaking me out.

Please pray we will stay safe from her wicked self.

Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 6, 2012 at 12:45 AM
Replies (511-520):
velvetkitty
by Gold Member on Oct. 11, 2012 at 4:20 AM

*gasp* OMG I WANT SOME!!!  PLEASE pass the bottle Martha!!!  

Quoting Anonymous:

I'm good now. Just finished a bottle of chocolate wine.

                                                                        -Martha

Quoting velvetkitty:

Martha needs a good stiff one.

Quoting Anonymous:

Martha needs help.

Quoting velvetkitty:

Can we invite Martha too?  She sounds like she could use a drink....

Quoting Anonymous:

lmao- my type of girl! Maybe we can invite Kevin and her son and teach them how to do body shots?

Quoting velvetkitty:

Ooooo Tequila.  I'm a classy drunk. LOL

Quoting Anonymous:

Very true. Maybe we can brownies or dip oreo's in the left over frosting.... 


OH! Wine? Beer? Tequila? Take your pick.

Quoting velvetkitty:

Go on and bring it. You can never have enough chocolate frosting.

Quoting Anonymous:

I'll bring the panties!!!! 

Do you have frosting? I can bring that too. 

Quoting velvetkitty:

I have chocolate cake mix, and an extra box of hair dye.  But no Cinderella panties :(

Quoting Anonymous:

lol- the bottom half of my was black. It was supposed to be brown but it turned out black. It finally faded. I kind of want to dye my hair black now though. While eating chocolate cake, of course.

Quoting velvetkitty:

YES!!! Funny thing is, I just dyed my hair black on accident. Hahaha.

Quoting Anonymous:

Mission accomplished. Want to go eat some chocolate cake with me and maybe make some chocolate milk? Yummy :)

Quoting velvetkitty:

You just made me tinkle a little....

Quoting Anonymous:

Oh, he saw them all right. 

When he bent him over the couch and railed him. 

Then your son wore his cinderella undies while they ate chocolate cake after making gay love.

Quoting Anonymous:

I hope he's never seen them.



Quoting Anonymous:

But Kevin, the gay lover, likes his Cinderella panties!

Quoting velvetkitty:

You should punish him by making him wear boys underwear, instead of Cinderella panties.

















Anonymous
by Anonymous on Oct. 11, 2012 at 4:25 AM

OP is too ignorant to get to know poor,sweet Kevin.

                                                                -Martha

Quoting AF2011:

And OP thought Kevin is a bad kid!

Quoting Anonymous:

I did but Kevin brought me back to life. Such a sweet boy!


                                                                                -Martha


Quoting AF2011:

Didn't Martha die?!

 


Anonymous
by Anonymous on Oct. 11, 2012 at 4:28 AM

I'll have to stop at the store for some more then I'll be over in a jiffy. I'll have to take my broom so I dont get pulled over. Spells to get out of DUIs are the devil to perform!

                                                                               -Martha

Quoting velvetkitty:

*gasp* OMG I WANT SOME!!!  PLEASE pass the bottle Martha!!!  

Quoting Anonymous:

I'm good now. Just finished a bottle of chocolate wine.

                                                                        -Martha

Quoting velvetkitty:

Martha needs a good stiff one.

Quoting Anonymous:

Martha needs help.

Quoting velvetkitty:

Can we invite Martha too?  She sounds like she could use a drink....

Quoting Anonymous:

lmao- my type of girl! Maybe we can invite Kevin and her son and teach them how to do body shots?

Quoting velvetkitty:

Ooooo Tequila.  I'm a classy drunk. LOL

Quoting Anonymous:

Very true. Maybe we can brownies or dip oreo's in the left over frosting.... 

 

OH! Wine? Beer? Tequila? Take your pick.

Quoting velvetkitty:

Go on and bring it. You can never have enough chocolate frosting.

Quoting Anonymous:

I'll bring the panties!!!! 

Do you have frosting? I can bring that too. 

Quoting velvetkitty:

I have chocolate cake mix, and an extra box of hair dye.  But no Cinderella panties :(

Quoting Anonymous:

lol- the bottom half of my was black. It was supposed to be brown but it turned out black. It finally faded. I kind of want to dye my hair black now though. While eating chocolate cake, of course.

Quoting velvetkitty:

YES!!! Funny thing is, I just dyed my hair black on accident. Hahaha.

Quoting Anonymous:

Mission accomplished. Want to go eat some chocolate cake with me and maybe make some chocolate milk? Yummy :)

Quoting velvetkitty:

You just made me tinkle a little....

Quoting Anonymous:

Oh, he saw them all right. 

When he bent him over the couch and railed him. 

Then your son wore his cinderella undies while they ate chocolate cake after making gay love.

Quoting Anonymous:

I hope he's never seen them.



Quoting Anonymous:

But Kevin, the gay lover, likes his Cinderella panties!

Quoting velvetkitty:

You should punish him by making him wear boys underwear, instead of Cinderella panties.















 



velvetkitty
by Gold Member on Oct. 11, 2012 at 5:07 AM

Will you also pick up some Cinderella panties?  I ate too much chocolate ;)

Quoting Anonymous:

I'll have to stop at the store for some more then I'll be over in a jiffy. I'll have to take my broom so I dont get pulled over. Spells to get out of DUIs are the devil to perform!

                                                                               -Martha

Quoting velvetkitty:

*gasp* OMG I WANT SOME!!!  PLEASE pass the bottle Martha!!!  

Quoting Anonymous:

I'm good now. Just finished a bottle of chocolate wine.

                                                                        -Martha

Quoting velvetkitty:

Martha needs a good stiff one.

Quoting Anonymous:

Martha needs help.

Quoting velvetkitty:

Can we invite Martha too?  She sounds like she could use a drink....

Quoting Anonymous:

lmao- my type of girl! Maybe we can invite Kevin and her son and teach them how to do body shots?

Quoting velvetkitty:

Ooooo Tequila.  I'm a classy drunk. LOL

Quoting Anonymous:

Very true. Maybe we can brownies or dip oreo's in the left over frosting.... 


OH! Wine? Beer? Tequila? Take your pick.

Quoting velvetkitty:

Go on and bring it. You can never have enough chocolate frosting.

Quoting Anonymous:

I'll bring the panties!!!! 

Do you have frosting? I can bring that too. 

Quoting velvetkitty:

I have chocolate cake mix, and an extra box of hair dye.  But no Cinderella panties :(

Quoting Anonymous:

lol- the bottom half of my was black. It was supposed to be brown but it turned out black. It finally faded. I kind of want to dye my hair black now though. While eating chocolate cake, of course.

Quoting velvetkitty:

YES!!! Funny thing is, I just dyed my hair black on accident. Hahaha.

Quoting Anonymous:

Mission accomplished. Want to go eat some chocolate cake with me and maybe make some chocolate milk? Yummy :)

Quoting velvetkitty:

You just made me tinkle a little....

Quoting Anonymous:

Oh, he saw them all right. 

When he bent him over the couch and railed him. 

Then your son wore his cinderella undies while they ate chocolate cake after making gay love.

Quoting Anonymous:

I hope he's never seen them.



Quoting Anonymous:

But Kevin, the gay lover, likes his Cinderella panties!

Quoting velvetkitty:

You should punish him by making him wear boys underwear, instead of Cinderella panties.



















Jamie1972
by Ruby Member on Oct. 11, 2012 at 5:16 AM
When did kevin become gay? Or did I miss something. And how does one find a newplace to live so quick? Why am I asking questions in a troll post,? Man i need chocolate mlk.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
MrsErdos2011
by Platinum Member on Oct. 11, 2012 at 5:25 AM

You need help. It's hair, it constantly changes.

Quoting Anonymous:

Well I was excited at Mani and pedi... Yuck.

Quoting MrsErdos2011:

Hey Op! Wanna come over and we can have a girls night! You know mani, pedi, chocolate cake shots, bailey's, chocolate milk, maybe some chocolate cake, then we can color our hair! Pink with BLACK highlights!!!


I may not be a perfect wife or mother but I am perfect in the eyes of my son and my husband and that is all that matters.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Oct. 11, 2012 at 5:50 AM
Kevin said you can borrow a pair of his. I'll bring them with me.

-Martha


Quoting velvetkitty:

Will you also pick up some Cinderella panties?  I ate too much chocolate ;)

Quoting Anonymous:

I'll have to stop at the store for some more then I'll be over in a jiffy. I'll have to take my broom so I dont get pulled over. Spells to get out of DUIs are the devil to perform!


                                                                               -Martha


Quoting velvetkitty:


*gasp* OMG I WANT SOME!!!  PLEASE pass the bottle Martha!!!  


Quoting Anonymous:


I'm good now. Just finished a bottle of chocolate wine.


                                                                        -Martha


Quoting velvetkitty:


Martha needs a good stiff one.


Quoting Anonymous:

Martha needs help.


Quoting velvetkitty:


Can we invite Martha too?  She sounds like she could use a drink....


Quoting Anonymous:


lmao- my type of girl! Maybe we can invite Kevin and her son and teach them how to do body shots?


Quoting velvetkitty:


Ooooo Tequila.  I'm a classy drunk. LOL


Quoting Anonymous:


Very true. Maybe we can brownies or dip oreo's in the left over frosting.... 




OH! Wine? Beer? Tequila? Take your pick.


Quoting velvetkitty:


Go on and bring it. You can never have enough chocolate frosting.


Quoting Anonymous:


I'll bring the panties!!!! 


Do you have frosting? I can bring that too. 


Quoting velvetkitty:


I have chocolate cake mix, and an extra box of hair dye.  But no Cinderella panties :(


Quoting Anonymous:


lol- the bottom half of my was black. It was supposed to be brown but it turned out black. It finally faded. I kind of want to dye my hair black now though. While eating chocolate cake, of course.


Quoting velvetkitty:


YES!!! Funny thing is, I just dyed my hair black on accident. Hahaha.


Quoting Anonymous:


Mission accomplished. Want to go eat some chocolate cake with me and maybe make some chocolate milk? Yummy :)


Quoting velvetkitty:


You just made me tinkle a little....


Quoting Anonymous:


Oh, he saw them all right. 


When he bent him over the couch and railed him. 


Then your son wore his cinderella undies while they ate chocolate cake after making gay love.


Quoting Anonymous:

I hope he's never seen them.




Quoting Anonymous:


But Kevin, the gay lover, likes his Cinderella panties!


Quoting velvetkitty:


You should punish him by making him wear boys underwear, instead of Cinderella panties.





































Becky.Mom.of.2
by Silver Member on Oct. 11, 2012 at 5:53 AM
I just can't even get into this troll post. I usually read them for entertainment, but this one is like a boring tv show.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Oct. 13, 2012 at 12:48 AM
Martha has a different personality

Quoting Anonymous:

This Is Martha, I once ate a can of alphabet soup that went to my vocal chords now I speak!



Hail satan n all that jazz
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Oct. 13, 2012 at 12:49 AM
Martha??

Quoting Anonymous:

Dont tell her all of our secrets!


                                       -Martha


Quoting Anonymous:

I moved into your old house. Martha has befriended me, and you will be found shortly...


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