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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Every time my son cries, I turn into the incredible hulk...UPDATE3*

Posted by on Oct. 6, 2012 at 5:39 AM
  • 157 Replies

._. yeah...Not even kidding, my anger level just comes up and out of nowhere when Nicholas starts scream-crying. I start cursing a lot more than usual, I forget where things are quite often and since our apartment is a mess because we've just moved in, so I start throwing shit all around trying to look for one thing. Goodness I need help.......

:D so I'm calling my doctor to schedule an apointment with her to get some calming meds or something. Wish me luck~

To clarify~
I never once have or want to hit or scream at my baby. I cry like a bitch, harder than he does, if he even gets an accidental scratch from my nails. I yell at the other people around me, not at him. Even in my rage fits, I know he's a baby and I know it's not his fault, so I don't yell at him or anything like that. I yell at those who are slow to react at common sensed things, or myself for not going fast enough. As for the throwing things, this is just an exaggeration. I'm throwing things out of the way, like clothes or whatever is in my way to find something. Usually I just place stuff in piles next to me and put them back calmly, but when I'm looking for something, I dig through that shit and it gets spread across the floor, not actually thrown. 

Another thing to clarify~ 
His pedi had advised us while DS was going through colic to just let him CIO if he was already fed and had his diaper changed. Though I don't agree with it, luckily we never had to because that very day, DS got over his colic. So yes, I know he was wrong, and no, we have never done CIO with DS. 

Also another update, both my OB and my doctor are closed and so I'm stuck with this until Tuesday or so -_-; Unless I can find a doctor in my area that is open on saturdays....boooooooooo 

UPDATE: 
Okay, so I went to a carenow clinic. They perscribed me zoloft and said I should take one every day for the next 6 months, and follow up with a therapist. He recommended me some therapist names and I'm going to pick up my medicine today. He said depending on how I react to the meds, I could get better, could get worse, or could even get suicidal...so it's a real coin flip to tell what it's going to do...quite honestly...I'm scared shitless to take it.....Thanks everyone for being supportive and helpful :) Didn't need the keyboard wars and honestly was half expecting them. ;D I'll keep y'all updated on how I do with the meds. 

by on Oct. 6, 2012 at 5:39 AM
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Replies (1-10):
littlemonaghan
by Gold Member on Oct. 6, 2012 at 5:42 AM

how old is the baby?

That happened to me right after DD was born. 

Went away after a month or so, but my "mama bear" reactions were insane.

When she cried I wanted to punch everyone in the face until I could calm her down, it felt like everyone else around me was preventing me from calming my baby, or they were the cause of the cry. I personally think it is a natural protective instinct. I didn't throw things though. I would just get angry and defensive until I was able to calm the baby down.

DestinyHLewis
by Gold Member on Oct. 6, 2012 at 5:45 AM
1 mom liked this
Postpartum, seriously. Good thing you called.
Candymonster
by on Oct. 6, 2012 at 5:47 AM

Haha, that explains my feelings right on the dot. He's 8 weeks old, he'll be 2 months tomorrow. I hope it goes away soon, I know SO is getting impatient with my attitude that pops up when Nicky starts up. I know it's not his fault but it doesn't stop me from yelling, sadly. 

Quoting littlemonaghan:

how old is the baby?

That happened to me right after DD was born. 

Went away after a month or so, but my "mama bear" reactions were insane.

When she cried I wanted to punch everyone in the face until I could calm her down, it felt like everyone else around me was preventing me from calming my baby, or they were the cause of the cry. I personally think it is a natural protective instinct. I didn't throw things though. I would just get angry and defensive until I was able to calm the baby down.


Candymonster
by on Oct. 6, 2012 at 5:47 AM

Probably. I had babyblues the first 2-3 weeks where I couldn't stop sobbing, but after it went away I felt fine. Now the anger is kicking in. ._. I'm a clusterfuck of emotions. 

Quoting DestinyHLewis:

Postpartum, seriously. Good thing you called.


jshalas89
by on Oct. 6, 2012 at 5:51 AM
1 mom liked this
Aww I hope everything gets better for you for your loved ones sake and your sanity. You should be proud that you noticed and that you're doing something about it. Gl mama!
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DestinyHLewis
by Gold Member on Oct. 6, 2012 at 5:52 AM
Quoting Candymonster:



I hope your appointment is soon. Try to hang in there and walk away when you get overwhelmed. Make sure baby is in a safe place, but walk away for a bit.
Candymonster
by on Oct. 6, 2012 at 5:53 AM

Thanks :) I have a good feel when I'm in a bad mood or still have anger, so I actually know when I'm being a bitch or not. I'm happy about it though, it prevents me from doing something too bad that I'll regret later. 

Quoting jshalas89:

Aww I hope everything gets better for you for your loved ones sake and your sanity. You should be proud that you noticed and that you're doing something about it. Gl mama!


littlemonaghan
by Gold Member on Oct. 6, 2012 at 5:53 AM
1 mom liked this

I just explained it to my husband. I was like look....my body is adjusting to the change of hormone levels since I had the baby, it is trying to get back to normal, and in doing so, my natural instinct to protect my young is coming out. Every female mammal on the planet has these instincts, from wolves to bears, to dogs, humans included. New mothers are very protective of their young, especially when they cry and a screaming cry normally means there is something wrong, and or primitive nature wants us to react defensively and protect when we hear that cry.

Nothing wrong with it and I don't think it requires medication. I think it is normal. I think our society jumps to medicate very quickly for every little thing. It will go away. I don't know if you are nursing or not, but I know that nursing will help the body regulate hormones back to normal faster.

Just relax and know its normal, and just respond to your baby. WHen your SO gets mad, tell him to get over it. lol It is something he will never understand

Quoting Candymonster:

Haha, that explains my feelings right on the dot. He's 8 weeks old, he'll be 2 months tomorrow. I hope it goes away soon, I know SO is getting impatient with my attitude that pops up when Nicky starts up. I know it's not his fault but it doesn't stop me from yelling, sadly. 

Quoting littlemonaghan:

how old is the baby?

That happened to me right after DD was born. 

Went away after a month or so, but my "mama bear" reactions were insane.

When she cried I wanted to punch everyone in the face until I could calm her down, it felt like everyone else around me was preventing me from calming my baby, or they were the cause of the cry. I personally think it is a natural protective instinct. I didn't throw things though. I would just get angry and defensive until I was able to calm the baby down.



Candymonster
by on Oct. 6, 2012 at 5:55 AM

I wish I could D: Unfortunately, I'm mostly here alone a lot of the times, so I'm the only one to care for him. We tried that today, but we found out that if he CIO, he screams so much that he actually pukes. *he also has acid reflux problems so that could also be a cause* If I leave him, I get too afraid he'll choke. :\

Quoting DestinyHLewis:

Quoting Candymonster:



I hope your appointment is soon. Try to hang in there and walk away when you get overwhelmed. Make sure baby is in a safe place, but walk away for a bit.


tattymissy
by on Oct. 6, 2012 at 5:55 AM
I did the same thing. We all thought it was post partum depression. Turns out I really just hated my now ex husband. Good luck and I hope you feel better.
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