Every time my son cries, I turn into the incredible hulk...UPDATE3*
._. yeah...Not even kidding, my anger level just comes up and out of nowhere when Nicholas starts scream-crying. I start cursing a lot more than usual, I forget where things are quite often and since our apartment is a mess because we've just moved in, so I start throwing shit all around trying to look for one thing. Goodness I need help.......
:D so I'm calling my doctor to schedule an apointment with her to get some calming meds or something. Wish me luck~
I never once have or want to hit or scream at my baby. I cry like a bitch, harder than he does, if he even gets an accidental scratch from my nails. I yell at the other people around me, not at him. Even in my rage fits, I know he's a baby and I know it's not his fault, so I don't yell at him or anything like that. I yell at those who are slow to react at common sensed things, or myself for not going fast enough. As for the throwing things, this is just an exaggeration. I'm throwing things out of the way, like clothes or whatever is in my way to find something. Usually I just place stuff in piles next to me and put them back calmly, but when I'm looking for something, I dig through that shit and it gets spread across the floor, not actually thrown.
Another thing to clarify~
His pedi had advised us while DS was going through colic to just let him CIO if he was already fed and had his diaper changed. Though I don't agree with it, luckily we never had to because that very day, DS got over his colic. So yes, I know he was wrong, and no, we have never done CIO with DS.
Also another update, both my OB and my doctor are closed and so I'm stuck with this until Tuesday or so -_-; Unless I can find a doctor in my area that is open on saturdays....boooooooooo
Okay, so I went to a carenow clinic. They perscribed me zoloft and said I should take one every day for the next 6 months, and follow up with a therapist. He recommended me some therapist names and I'm going to pick up my medicine today. He said depending on how I react to the meds, I could get better, could get worse, or could even get suicidal...so it's a real coin flip to tell what it's going to do...quite honestly...I'm scared shitless to take it.....Thanks everyone for being supportive and helpful :) Didn't need the keyboard wars and honestly was half expecting them. ;D I'll keep y'all updated on how I do with the meds.