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my husband didn't come home last night. ****EDIT****

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
Title says it. He was supposed to be home from work at 12:30 to 1 this morning and he isn't home yet. It is 5:30 a.m. I was worried at first. I got up around 3 and when he wasn't there I drove to his work and by his friends house but he wasn't there. I called the jail. I am worried sick!!! This is unusual. His phone is dead, I know because he was asking me to find his charger yesterday before he went to work because he lost it and I found it. I tried calling but its dead. He likes to drink so I'm thinking he is passed out at a friend's house because he won't drive drunk. He isn't the cheating type but it crossed my mind because it is so unlike him. Oh my god I can't sleep now and I don't know if I should be worried or angry. He has to work at 2 pm so he has to be at.....

And he just came home. Says he was at someone named Kyle's house playing video games and.drinking beer. I'm not happy I was worried sick!!

When he came home I was up. He stumbled in the door. He said he had dropped off a coworker and who asked him if he wanted to come and have a beer and play a video game. He doesn't have my number memorized and his phone was dead so he couldn't contact me. He said he lost track of time. He got home around 5:45. He is passed out now. I told him if he doesn't stop drinking or learn to control it then I am not going to sit around and watch him destroy his liver and drain our accounts. If he can't help himself then I will drive him to work (we have one car) and look at his receipts because if he wants to behave like a child I wi treat him like one. When we were dating he would get smashed every weekend and drink through the week. I thought it was just a phase after turning 21 that men go through. He got better. But then he will do something like this, I will get mad and tell him he needs to watch the drinking. For example, I bet him he couldn't go a month without a drink then he said he was going to a movie with his friends but was at the bar. He was mysteriously coming home late every night and I.found out he was buying beer and drinking it in the parking lot after work before he came home.

He is a good father, a good husband besides this, and he works 40+ hours a week but this is getting out of control. This pattern needs to stop. I love my husband and I want to help him. I think he is an alcoholic. His parents both are and his family are big drinkers. I don't think he knows what responsible drinking is.

How do I help him? I know ultimately he had to make the decision but I want him to go to an AA meeting, counseling, something!!!

Oh and did I mention he drove home.DRUNK!!!!! Wtf is wrong with.him!!!! The biggest issue is him.driving drunk and me not knowing where he was. I used my mother's car to look for him. I did check the hospitals also btw dad said.they would call me or come to if he was.hurt had been five.hours from.when he.should be home. Sorry for extra punctuation.

WWYD??? Thoughts???
Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 6, 2012 at 5:41 AM
Replies (31-40):
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 6, 2012 at 10:16 AM
Quoting mamadolce:

REALLY WHAT MAN DOES NOT KNOW HIS WIFE/GF/SO TELEPHONE NUMBER BY HEART!?? Yes he is an alcoholic and deep down you already know this unless he wants help its all going to be a downhill spiral for your family. Sorry

It really is bad, but we don't know numbers by heart. I should for situations like this. I have always known he had a problem but I ignored it because it has never altered his personality to make him mean or violent when he is drunk our affected his work. But if he is driving drunk, spending money we can't afford, and letting it affect our relationship I can't ignore this anymore.
by Platinum Member on Oct. 6, 2012 at 10:17 AM

If you feel you need to "treat him like a child" then in my personal opinion you two are in a lot worse spot than you think. That shows neither of you can respect the other. He obviously has a problem that he needs to fix, but telling him you have to drive him and he has to show you all receipts? You're not his mother, and treating him like you are wanting to won't help your relationship. Getting him into some kind of counseling and working with him will help, not micromanaging his life.

Hopefully he can pull it together.

by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 6, 2012 at 10:18 AM
Quoting DestinyHLewis:

The first thought you had was to call a jail??? Try hospitals. I hope it works out.

I forgot to type hospital but I tried both. He drove home drunk apparently though so jail was a possibility.
by Anonymous 8 on Oct. 6, 2012 at 10:18 AM
I laid down an ultimatum. I took our kids and left. Told him to make his choice. The alcohol or the kids and I. If he wanted us back he needed to get and stay sober. Counseling for himself and for us for our marriage. AA meetings. It's been a year. He is doing so much better and our family is so much happier. I'm so glad he chose his family.

Good luck!
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 6, 2012 at 10:19 AM
Quoting owl0210:

He's a married man not a fratboy. I'd be so pissed.

Exactly I told him I will treat him like a child if he acts like one.
by Ruby Member on Oct. 6, 2012 at 10:20 AM

That would never happen my husband is not a teenager. Good luck.

by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 6, 2012 at 10:20 AM
Quoting 3xangel:

So... He couldn't call you from kyle's phone? You don't think he's the cheating type, eh. I'm sure you didn't think he would be the type to stay out all night and not call his wife, yet he did. Time to open your eyes and have a serious conversation with your husband.

He is an alcoholic. He came come drunk and I know we need to but we don't have each others numbers memorized.
by Anonymous 9 on Oct. 6, 2012 at 10:21 AM
He's a loser.
Kyle doesn't exist.
He's cheating.
Youre blind.
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 6, 2012 at 10:22 AM
Quoting Blue_Spiral:

Reading this has made me sick, recalling nights when my ex-dh didn't come home :(

I didnt know if I should be mad or worried and I just ended up sad and disappointed. :(
by Bronze Member on Oct. 6, 2012 at 10:23 AM only have 1 car yet you drove by his work and at 3 am yet he had the car with him at Kyles house and he drove that car home?
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