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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

my husband didn't come home last night. ****EDIT****

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
Title says it. He was supposed to be home from work at 12:30 to 1 this morning and he isn't home yet. It is 5:30 a.m. I was worried at first. I got up around 3 and when he wasn't there I drove to his work and by his friends house but he wasn't there. I called the jail. I am worried sick!!! This is unusual. His phone is dead, I know because he was asking me to find his charger yesterday before he went to work because he lost it and I found it. I tried calling but its dead. He likes to drink so I'm thinking he is passed out at a friend's house because he won't drive drunk. He isn't the cheating type but it crossed my mind because it is so unlike him. Oh my god I can't sleep now and I don't know if I should be worried or angry. He has to work at 2 pm so he has to be at.....


And he just came home. Says he was at someone named Kyle's house playing video games and.drinking beer. I'm not happy I was worried sick!!



****EDIT*****
When he came home I was up. He stumbled in the door. He said he had dropped off a coworker and who asked him if he wanted to come and have a beer and play a video game. He doesn't have my number memorized and his phone was dead so he couldn't contact me. He said he lost track of time. He got home around 5:45. He is passed out now. I told him if he doesn't stop drinking or learn to control it then I am not going to sit around and watch him destroy his liver and drain our accounts. If he can't help himself then I will drive him to work (we have one car) and look at his receipts because if he wants to behave like a child I wi treat him like one. When we were dating he would get smashed every weekend and drink through the week. I thought it was just a phase after turning 21 that men go through. He got better. But then he will do something like this, I will get mad and tell him he needs to watch the drinking. For example, I bet him he couldn't go a month without a drink then he said he was going to a movie with his friends but was at the bar. He was mysteriously coming home late every night and I.found out he was buying beer and drinking it in the parking lot after work before he came home.

He is a good father, a good husband besides this, and he works 40+ hours a week but this is getting out of control. This pattern needs to stop. I love my husband and I want to help him. I think he is an alcoholic. His parents both are and his family are big drinkers. I don't think he knows what responsible drinking is.


How do I help him? I know ultimately he had to make the decision but I want him to go to an AA meeting, counseling, something!!!



Oh and did I mention he drove home.DRUNK!!!!! Wtf is wrong with.him!!!! The biggest issue is him.driving drunk and me not knowing where he was. I used my mother's car to look for him. I did check the hospitals also btw but.my dad said.they would call me or come to my.house if he was.hurt because.it had been five.hours from.when he.should be home. Sorry for extra punctuation.


WWYD??? Thoughts???
Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 6, 2012 at 5:41 AM
Replies (41-50):
AubreeGrace17
by Platinum Member on Oct. 6, 2012 at 10:24 AM

I would give him an ultimatum...rehab or leave.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Oct. 6, 2012 at 10:24 AM
Quoting Anonymous:

He's a loser.
Kyle doesn't exist.
He's cheating.
Youre blind.



No, he isn't the cheating type. Everyone makes fun of him for being whipped and not even looking at other women. He is.obsessed with me. It sounds conceited but its true. I am paranoid.though because I see people married for years and years and there is cheating so I monitor.him. he is an alcoholic. He has done this where he goes out drinking and doesnt tell me.
celestegood
by Ruby Member on Oct. 6, 2012 at 10:25 AM
1 mom liked this
You cannot make him change. He will do that when and if he really wants to. Ou have to decide what you want. To stay with an alcoholic and put up with his crap or move on. Tread your own path. Good luck.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Oct. 6, 2012 at 10:25 AM
Quoting AubreeGrace17:

I would give him an ultimatum...rehab or leave.



Rehab isn't realistic for us but I think meetings and counseling.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Oct. 6, 2012 at 10:28 AM
Yeah, and my sons father was obsessed wirh me...and screwing other chicks.

You're blind.

He's def cheating on you. You play mommy, not wife.


Quoting Anonymous:

Quoting Anonymous:

He's a loser.

Kyle doesn't exist.

He's cheating.

Youre blind.





No, he isn't the cheating type. Everyone makes fun of him for being whipped and not even looking at other women. He is.obsessed with me. It sounds conceited but its true. I am paranoid.though because I see people married for years and years and there is cheating so I monitor.him. he is an alcoholic. He has done this where he goes out drinking and doesnt tell me.

siennasmamma
by Gold Member on Oct. 6, 2012 at 10:28 AM

At least he's OK. You need to have a good talk with him, and let him know how you feel about his drinking.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Oct. 6, 2012 at 10:28 AM
Quoting MissTuree:

If you feel you need to "treat him like a child" then in my personal opinion you two are in a lot worse spot than you think. That shows neither of you can respect the other. He obviously has a problem that he needs to fix, but telling him you have to drive him and he has to show you all receipts? You're not his mother, and treating him like you are wanting to won't help your relationship. Getting him into some kind of counseling and working with him will help, not micromanaging his life.


Hopefully he can pull it together.




I knew even as I said it that it was unreasonable and would cause more problems then it would.help. I just love him and I want him to get help. I don't know what to do. I am looking up AA meetings and counselors today. I don't want to monitor him, I want him to be responsible.
cherrywaves21
by on Oct. 6, 2012 at 10:29 AM
Driving home drunk wasting money on booze doesn't scream good father to me.

But have fun with that fantasy.
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PinkButterfly66
by Emerald Member on Oct. 6, 2012 at 10:33 AM

Honestly, your first clue was his heavy drinking when you two were dating.  It's not a phase that men go thru after turning 21.  He has had a drinking problem since you've known him.  It isn't going to get better until he gets some help.  For some alcoholics, the only thing that works is total abstinence.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Oct. 6, 2012 at 10:34 AM
Quoting Anonymous:




You don't know either of us. I see where you are coming from but not every man is a cheater. And all the other times he lied about where he was I found him at friends houses or bars drunk. I posted this thread to get advice on how to approach him getting help for drinking. My husband has a drinking problem but he is a good man in all other aspects. I know for a fact he has never cheated on me. I'm sorry you have been through that but not all men are cheaters. There are other problems besides infedelity that can make a man lie and stay out. And I am talking to Kyle today to explain that next time I would like to be informed where my dh is so I don't worry.
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