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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

my husband didn't come home last night. ****EDIT****

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
Title says it. He was supposed to be home from work at 12:30 to 1 this morning and he isn't home yet. It is 5:30 a.m. I was worried at first. I got up around 3 and when he wasn't there I drove to his work and by his friends house but he wasn't there. I called the jail. I am worried sick!!! This is unusual. His phone is dead, I know because he was asking me to find his charger yesterday before he went to work because he lost it and I found it. I tried calling but its dead. He likes to drink so I'm thinking he is passed out at a friend's house because he won't drive drunk. He isn't the cheating type but it crossed my mind because it is so unlike him. Oh my god I can't sleep now and I don't know if I should be worried or angry. He has to work at 2 pm so he has to be at.....


And he just came home. Says he was at someone named Kyle's house playing video games and.drinking beer. I'm not happy I was worried sick!!



****EDIT*****
When he came home I was up. He stumbled in the door. He said he had dropped off a coworker and who asked him if he wanted to come and have a beer and play a video game. He doesn't have my number memorized and his phone was dead so he couldn't contact me. He said he lost track of time. He got home around 5:45. He is passed out now. I told him if he doesn't stop drinking or learn to control it then I am not going to sit around and watch him destroy his liver and drain our accounts. If he can't help himself then I will drive him to work (we have one car) and look at his receipts because if he wants to behave like a child I wi treat him like one. When we were dating he would get smashed every weekend and drink through the week. I thought it was just a phase after turning 21 that men go through. He got better. But then he will do something like this, I will get mad and tell him he needs to watch the drinking. For example, I bet him he couldn't go a month without a drink then he said he was going to a movie with his friends but was at the bar. He was mysteriously coming home late every night and I.found out he was buying beer and drinking it in the parking lot after work before he came home.

He is a good father, a good husband besides this, and he works 40+ hours a week but this is getting out of control. This pattern needs to stop. I love my husband and I want to help him. I think he is an alcoholic. His parents both are and his family are big drinkers. I don't think he knows what responsible drinking is.


How do I help him? I know ultimately he had to make the decision but I want him to go to an AA meeting, counseling, something!!!



Oh and did I mention he drove home.DRUNK!!!!! Wtf is wrong with.him!!!! The biggest issue is him.driving drunk and me not knowing where he was. I used my mother's car to look for him. I did check the hospitals also btw but.my dad said.they would call me or come to my.house if he was.hurt because.it had been five.hours from.when he.should be home. Sorry for extra punctuation.


WWYD??? Thoughts???
Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 6, 2012 at 5:41 AM
Replies (51-60):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 6, 2012 at 10:43 AM
Quoting cherrywaves21:

Driving home drunk wasting money on booze doesn't scream good father to me.

But have fun with that fantasy.



Way to be a bitch. Compared to fathers who don't help take care of their sons and who abandon them and dont help with bath, chores, feeding yes he is. He stayed up all night after my c section to take care of my son and I and worked all the next day. He works 40+ hours a week. He takes my son when I need time to do things or work out. At one point he worked 7 days a week sometimes going to work at five am to a second job until late. He did that for months so we could save for a car after ours was totalled. He never complained once. No one is perfect. He made a mistake. I don't live in a fantasy world, I am fully aware he has a problem. This is about how to help him not for smart Ass comments. You should be more empathetic. Don't say anything unless you have something nice to say. I am obviously going through a tough time and the last thing I need is some rude stranger making sarcastic comments.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 10 on Oct. 6, 2012 at 10:47 AM
Wait a Minute you have one vehicle but you drove around looking for him but he drove home drunk how the ffff does that happen
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 6, 2012 at 10:48 AM
Quoting PinkButterfly66:

Honestly, your first clue was his heavy drinking when you two were dating.  It's not a phase that men go thru after turning 21.  He has had a drinking problem since you've known him.  It isn't going to get better until he gets some help.  For some alcoholics, the only thing that works is total abstinence.




I have justified ignoring this because I told myself as long as he isn't driving drunk, putting us in financial ruin, or getting violent I can overlook this. But I don't want to sit by while he keeps doing this. If he doesn't change I will file legal seperation. Honestly right now we can't afford to seperate. He would probably have to move back to his parents house five hours away and I want him in my sons life. I can't do that to him. He loves his son and when he is taking care of him he doesn't drink. I'm hoping that love is strong enough to help him stop.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 6, 2012 at 10:49 AM
Quoting Anonymous:

Wait a Minute you have one vehicle but you drove around looking for him but he drove home drunk how the ffff does that happen


I used my mother's car.
Mrs.Bryant1201
by Platinum Member on Oct. 6, 2012 at 10:55 AM

As a child of an alcoholic all i have to say is not matter what you do your child will still have to battle their parents addiction. Maybe AA could be a good start for you for the sake of your child.

scoleman828
by on Oct. 6, 2012 at 10:56 AM
1 mom liked this
He IS an alcoholic. Hiding the addiction is one of the major red flags. I am engaged to a recovering alcoholic. It really is a difficult life. He relapsed and spend the last 2 days drinking/drunk. It's hell. You are the only one who can decide how much you're willing to put up with. Just because he is going to act like a child doesn't mean he is one. Therefore, I would not treat him like one. He WILL find a way to hide it, it's part of the disease. Treat him like an adult and let him deal with the consequences of his actions. If you ever want to talk, pm me. I've been through it all. My DF not only struggles with alcohol but also ptsd, bipolar depression and a traumatic brain injury.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 6, 2012 at 11:05 AM
Quoting Mrs.Bryant1201:

As a child of an alcoholic all i have to say is not matter what you do your child will still have to battle their parents addiction. Maybe AA could be a good start for you for the sake of your child.




I don't know what to do if he refuses to go. I could go to an anon group but that helps me not him.
Mrs.Bryant1201
by Platinum Member on Oct. 6, 2012 at 11:10 AM

Go for yourself. He might not be ready but you will get support in understanding his disease. My father was in denial of it for most of his life. He finally got sober after going 3 DUI's and a prison sentence. You can pm me if you want advice. His disease has hurt me in many ways and my grandpa was the same. But my grandma just brushed it under the rug causing her son, (my father) to pick up the disease. My mom left my dad and even though the disease did not physically effect myself and my brother we both have a ton of emotional issues over it. 

Quoting Anonymous:

Quoting Mrs.Bryant1201:

As a child of an alcoholic all i have to say is not matter what you do your child will still have to battle their parents addiction. Maybe AA could be a good start for you for the sake of your child.




I don't know what to do if he refuses to go. I could go to an anon group but that helps me not him.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 6, 2012 at 12:59 PM
Quoting Mrs.Bryant1201:



Okay thank you. I think I will go. He says he will just stop drinking and it won't be hard but I doubt it will be that easy. I'll just have to wait and see if he can.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 11 on Oct. 6, 2012 at 1:03 PM

 When my husbad cheated he would come home late all the time and give me lots of hair brain excuses that you could just tell were lies. I'm not saying he's lying but I would keep a watch on things. Do you know who this Kyle person is?

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