Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I don't believe in spanking

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Parents seem to be on this power trip with their kids. It's the only explanation for the ferocity with which these parents cling to the concept of spanking.

Children are young, less experienced, less knowledgeable and can be defiant, impulsive and downright annoying and often even infuriating. 

When you have someone that you rule over, who knows less than you and who defies and annoys you, you feel completely justified in hitting them.

You say it's to teach them a lesson. You say it's because they can't learn any other way. 

You say it's your right as their "ruler." 

Let's grow beyond this and act benevolently to our subjects, eh?

Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 6, 2012 at 6:39 AM
Replies (201-208):
Fields456
by Ruby Member on Oct. 7, 2012 at 8:57 PM
That's how my sisters kids have always been. They are now almost 10 and almost 13 ad my sister has said they screwed up and should have spanked and not their. "Hippy way" of discipline Her words not mine lol


Quoting Anonymous:

This sounds like my brother in laws parenting. They have the biggest brat of a 5 year old and a 2 1/2 year old not far off. It sickens me that a 5 year old tells his mom when they can go out and where. If he doesn't want to go they don't. It's also sad that no one wants to be around his family because the kids are misbehaved and the parents do nothing to correct it. I don't care if you dont spank, but at least have some form of disepline for your children.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
HouseKatof2
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 9:37 PM

 

Quoting Anonymous:

If you live in the US it is.I have to do child abuse training every summer. It is not abuse to use your hand. It is if you use an object. If your child goes to school and says they were hit with an object you better beleive you will be getting a phone call. Whether or not they decide it is abuse or not is up to the investigator but it will be investigated. 

Quoting militarywife09:

No it isn't. I don't use objects personally, but I know in my sate as long as it doesn't cause bruising it's OK. Maybe you should quit trying to be a know-it-all.


Quoting Anonymous:

Spanking kids with an object of any kind other than your hand is considered abuse in every state. As the previous reply stated, if you are a mandated reporter as I am, we have to report hitting a child anywhere on the body with an object If you want to spank you may want to consider just using your hand. 


Quoting Anonymous:

Really because my friends is also one and have never inform me of this. In our state " physical discipline such as spanking or paddling ris not considered abuse as long as it's reasonable and cause no bodily injury. I spank not abuse me and my kids are good don't need to think about anything.





Quoting Anonymous:

Quoting Anonymous:

Yup I guess I am the ruler and the funny part about it that's what I use to rule my house a ruler.







As a mandated reporter and clinical therapist, using an implement to hit a child would fall into the category of physical abuse. I would risk my state license if I did not file a report with cps. I practice in the northeast but you may want to think about this the next time you whip out your ruler.


 


 

No it isn't. In fact, there are still certain states in the South that still allow paddling in school (yes, public schools).  

HouseKatof2
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 10:14 PM

This debate always ends up with both sides looking ignorant because of the ridiculous extremes being used in a failed attempt to make a point. 

Spanking parents are offended because of the vast generalization that all people that spank are abusers, lazy, and/or too stupid to know any better. 

Non-spanking parents are offended because of the vast generalization that all people that don't spank are raising spoiled brats that have no discipline whatsoever. 

Here's an idea... Let your children be the legacy that tells the story of what kind of parent you were. All other opinions, including your own, really don't matter.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 41 on Oct. 7, 2012 at 11:15 PM


Quoting Anonymous:

Quoting Anonymous:




I really and truly am.not a very glamerous profession i am afraid but a profession none the less. Your profession would be.......?

If you would have left my comment in the quote box, I might know what in the hell you were talking about.

*glamorous

Your spelling and grammar speak volumes about your "profession".

crystal_88
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 10:18 AM


Quoting Anonymous:

Quoting crystal_88:

Also get spanked for talking back because my teenage sister-in-law talks so horrible to her Mom, saying " I wish you were dead" "I hate you, you're so stupid" "That's why Dad left you, cause you are a dumbass"  I want my kids to know if they even think about talking to me like that, they will get a big slap in the face for even thinking it!



I am sure that there are better ways to teach and model respectful communication than hitting a child in the face. Have faith that you and they have the ability to express thoughts and feelings to one another without the threat of violence.

First of all, I have never hit my kids in the face, they are only 7 and 3...but if they are rebeliious teenagers I will, thankyou very much...because at that age they already know what they are doing is wrong.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Oct. 8, 2012 at 2:57 PM


Quoting crystal_88:


Quoting Anonymous:

Quoting crystal_88:

Also get spanked for talking back because my teenage sister-in-law talks so horrible to her Mom, saying " I wish you were dead" "I hate you, you're so stupid" "That's why Dad left you, cause you are a dumbass"  I want my kids to know if they even think about talking to me like that, they will get a big slap in the face for even thinking it!



I am sure that there are better ways to teach and model respectful communication than hitting a child in the face. Have faith that you and they have the ability to express thoughts and feelings to one another without the threat of violence.

First of all, I have never hit my kids in the face, they are only 7 and 3...but if they are rebeliious teenagers I will, thankyou very much...because at that age they already know what they are doing is wrong.

My ex-FIL and my ex-husband got into a fight when my ex was 16 and his father started choking him (he was a very abusive man anyway) and his younger brother called the police because he was scared.

The police showed up and weren't going to do anything to his dad, except that right in front of them (like the brilliant man he is) he slapped him in the face.

He got sent to jail and it was a huge deal. For slapping him in front of them, not for choking him "allegedly."

Kind of bizarre.

But my point is, I guess once they're teenagers it suddenly becomes assault, becaue they're what, "real people" now or something?


terall
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 10:30 AM

I'm not following any trend, honestly I was abused as a child (physically/mentally) so I would never want to cross that anger line, you know... its just too risky. I simply treat my children with respect and a little empathy to the fact that they are just kids. usually when my son gets out of line I just have to make a sad face and he feels bad and stops and he's only 3. Id rather him choose not to do something because he's got a good heart and doesnt want to hurt any one thann just because he's so afraid of the consequense (getting hit) so far he's a total sweet heart all the time. but I guess only time will tell.  but like i said I'm educated both with school and self taught. I'm a former behavior therapist, I worked with severly violent children some with Autism some with behavior disorders. I was basically like super nanny for the juvenile criminally insane. I tuaght parents how to help their children with out the use of physical punishment or drugs. When I left the company about a year ago all of my parents cried and thanked me for the progress their children had made and all that they had learned about real parenting and love.

Quoting Dzyre1115:

 It works like a charm., prove me wrong.  My kids are 19, 9 and 5 and have NEVER been in trouble outside of my house for hitting another person or child.  I know it's trendy to raise coddled, entitled little bastards, which I am sure you are working very hard to do, but I don't follow trends!

Quoting terall:

thats the stupidest logic Ive ever heard Teach a child not to hit by hitting them.... all your'e doing is teaching them that whoever is stronger can control the other one... so if you catch them stealing are you going to go rob their piggy bank.  living in a dictatorship sucks ... glad I'm not your kids

Quoting Dzyre1115:

 This house is not a Democracy, it is a Dictatorship, and I am it's Dictator and I will rule as I see fit!

My kids get hit, when they hit.  So the rule here is, "If you don't want to be hit, then don't hit", it works like a charm!


 


terall
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 10:35 AM

I beg to differ, the world has always been filled with violence... our country was based upon it from the start , Men will always fight for power and greed regardless if theyre spanked or not... that has littl to do with spanking and more to do with spirituality, as long as people see themselves as seperatedd from every one else, the world will be divided

Quoting Anonymous:

Oddly enough, there is more violence in our society now than there was when more parents spanked.  Interesting.

Quoting terall:

I don't believe in spanking either, its something uneducated neaderthal people do. you cant teach a child self control or how to not use violence to control people by using violence to control them.... common sense 



Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)