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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

If marriage is just a piece of paper....edit

Posted by on Oct. 6, 2012 at 9:46 PM
  • 92 Replies
1 mom liked this

Why don't you have one? I mean, I hear so much that it's just a piece of paper with no real value, what is it to you to not have one?

with my marriage my DH gets tricare, housing, military dependant Id, he has been able to speak for me when they lost me at the hospital. No prior consent needed, because he was my DH. He has the legal right to speak up for me when I am not there.

What is so grand about being forever fiances? I don't get it. I understand if you are a gay couple and your state doesn't recognize one for you, that's a legal matter, not a personal choice to be stubborn.

Can you explain the benefits of staying single and living with your boy friend for years? I just don't get it.

 

ETA: I am beging to see that prior divorce or witnessing A BAD divorce causes a lot of pause in a lot of people. Also, as one mom pointed out, finances are to be considered.

Also,. marriage doesn't make any one more of a family than anyone else. We all know those special people in our lives that we are closer to us than blood kin, so it goes with out saying that partnership can be the same way.

Thank you to everyone that replied. You have enlightened this humble human and i appreciate the time you took to do so. Thank you all also for not make this a bash fest.

by on Oct. 6, 2012 at 9:46 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Lunarprancer
by Betsy on Oct. 6, 2012 at 9:47 PM
3 moms liked this
Divorce is messy, costly, and the norm.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Oct. 6, 2012 at 9:48 PM
6 moms liked this
because they know what their relationship means to them. Their love, trust and commitment is what is important to them. They just dont feel the need.
CDMelty
by Bronze Member on Oct. 6, 2012 at 9:49 PM
4 moms liked this

It's a cop out a lot of the time. They don't want to gamble on a relationship they're not sure of. They don't want to bet the cost of a divorce so they keep it where they can just walk away without a lawyer, but they aren't actually going to dump the person right now so they just say "Oh it's just a piece of paper".

AHmom103
by Gold Member on Oct. 6, 2012 at 9:50 PM
1 mom liked this

 Dh and I got married because it seemed more beneficial legally and financially. Our relationship would be pretty much the same without the marraige license, but it's nice to know that if he dies, my kids and I are taken care of, and vice versa. Plus, on the rare occasions when we do have a serious argument, it's a lot harder to just get fed up and leave. It makes us take the time to talk things out and solve our problems instead of letting them snowball and ruin our relationship.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Oct. 6, 2012 at 9:50 PM

Divorce costs thousands...that is all

spicy_n_sweet
by on Oct. 6, 2012 at 9:51 PM

I do not have one because I have absolutely no interest in legal marriage. My SO and I have been together for 21 years, and I just have no interest in legal marriage.

Benefits to me personally: I do not live in a community property state.  I have my own money, my own investments, my own properties, my own retirement (which I am drawing now), and I have no interest in a court having any say on any sort of distribution if we were to ever split. I also have my own insurance as well (medical/dental.etc) We are legally registered domestic partners, we both have wills, we both having living wills, we have power of attorney over one another in case one of us is unable to make our own legal/medical/financial decisions, we have a palimony agreement that is revised and updated every few years.  This is how I prefer it, and I do not see that changing any time soon.

dbush0584
by Platinum Member on Oct. 6, 2012 at 9:53 PM
1 mom liked this
Horse shit

Quoting CDMelty:

It's a cop out a lot of the time. They don't want to gamble on a relationship they're not sure of. They don't want to bet the cost of a divorce so they keep it where they can just walk away without a lawyer, but they aren't actually going to dump the person right now so they just say "Oh it's just a piece of paper".

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firespurity
by Ruby Member on Oct. 6, 2012 at 9:53 PM
1 mom liked this
I find marriage being a legal matter ti be disgusting. I'm legally married though.. It should be a spiritual/personal matter.
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Taynhannahsmom
by on Oct. 6, 2012 at 9:54 PM
I don't care what marriage is to others. I wanted to marry dh because he is my best friend and I love him forever, not until shit gets tough. I guess some people are afraid to commit, I don't really put much thought into it because I don't care enough to.
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aiyess
by Gold Member on Oct. 6, 2012 at 9:55 PM
Wow. That is so honest. I respect you for that.


Quoting spicy_n_sweet:

I do not have one because I have absolutely no interest in legal marriage. My SO and I have been together for 21 years, and I just have no interest in legal marriage.

Benefits to me personally: I do not live in a community property state.  I have my own money, my own investments, my own properties, my own retirement (which I am drawing now), and I have no interest in a court having any say on any sort of distribution if we were to ever split. I also have my own insurance as well (medical/dental.etc) We are legally registered domestic partners, we both have wills, we both having living wills, we have power of attorney over one another in case one of us is unable to make our own legal/medical/financial decisions, we have a palimony agreement that is revised and updated every few years.  This is how I prefer it, and I do not see that changing any time soon.


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