Opinions please: She wants to make my wedding her coming out party
Here's my thing... I don't care if she is a lesbian but my wedding day is not the time to tell her parents who are not going to take it well. Any other day I'd stand up to her parents and have her back but not on my wedding day...
I say she needs to come out before the wedding or not bring her GF. DF says its their business and we should stay out of it. I foresee drama...
WWYD? Tell her to come out before or not bring the GF OR just let it play out because it's their business?
Quoting JLS2388:I agree with you, your wedding is not the time for her comming out, you KNOW that would cause major drama at your wedding. That's not right, it should be about you and your DF. How soon is the wedding? I would tell her that she is not welcome to bring a date to your wedding. Usually people don't ask to bring dates anyway, either it says "and date" on the invitation or it is understood they are not to bring a date. Your DF is right, it is her business when she comes out BUT it is your business if it is at your wedding. Think about it this way, even if she comes out to her parents soon, if it's that big of a deal, I doubt they will get over it in time for the wedding , you don't want that drama at your wedding, so it's better to just tell her she is not welcome to bring a date.
Tell her she has to tell them, or YOU WILL! This is a horrible imposition on your day. Instead of focusing on you and your hubs, her parents will be upset and distracted(at best). Tell her flat out, she has to tell them at least a week before the wedding (give them time to adjust and deal with the fallout) or you will, or don't bring a date, or don't come. Seriously, this is extremely selfish and rude. Don't let her ruin your day!
Yeah, I think it is fine to say no, I mean, clearly it makes a difference that it's a woman because she would be coming out at your wedding. It sounds like she is just trying to start drama. I would tell DF that your are not spending all of this time and money for this once in a lifetime day so that his sister can use it as her coming out party
Quoting HIJKLM:
The wedding is next month. Her BF of 3 years was invited but they broke up last week. She asked to bring a different date (and he said yes) before telling him that her date was female and she wasn't telling her parents till the wedding.
Quoting JLS2388:I agree with you, your wedding is not the time for her comming out, you KNOW that would cause major drama at your wedding. That's not right, it should be about you and your DF. How soon is the wedding? I would tell her that she is not welcome to bring a date to your wedding. Usually people don't ask to bring dates anyway, either it says "and date" on the invitation or it is understood they are not to bring a date. Your DF is right, it is her business when she comes out BUT it is your business if it is at your wedding. Think about it this way, even if she comes out to her parents soon, if it's that big of a deal, I doubt they will get over it in time for the wedding , you don't want that drama at your wedding, so it's better to just tell her she is not welcome to bring a date.
I think she should come out to the rest of the family before your wedding. It's rude to do that at your wedding. I'd sit down with her and say something like "I think it's brave and great of you to come out, but I hope that I only get married once and this is my big day. I know that you coming out will cause a lot of drama which puts a lot of stress on me on my wedding day. Would you please talk to your parents about this before the wedding? Or wait until after the wedding to come out? Or, would you like me to tell them you are with a girl now? Or maybe you would like to have a coming out party. I would be happy to help you with that. weddings are already stressful, please don't put me in this position"
Quoting Dextons_Mommy:
Oh no, she would not be doing that on my wedding day. That is horribly inconsiderate of her. I would tell her she either needs to come out with it before the big day, or she can't bring her girlfriend. I would not be happy with someone bringing their drama to my wedding. I hate to say it, but I don't think your fiancee is being very considerate of your feelings either. It doesn't seem like he cares if it will create problems at your wedding. Not trying to be mean, just my observation.
Quoting RLT2:Tell her she has to tell them, or YOU WILL! This is a horrible imposition on your day. Instead of focusing on you and your hubs, her parents will be upset and distracted(at best). Tell her flat out, she has to tell them at least a week before the wedding (give them time to adjust and deal with the fallout) or you will, or don't bring a date, or don't come. Seriously, this is extremely selfish and rude. Don't let her ruin your day!
Quoting HIJKLM:
She is. She's always doing shit like this to them... Then when they get upset she'll tell the it's not her fault they "accidentally had a bio kid" or got "stuck with a kid they didn't pick out" she's a brat about being the only one not adopted.
Quoting cherrywaves21:
I would tell her no girlfriend or she can stay the hell home.
She sounds selfish and a drama queen.
leaving baby alone while i do laundry?
- HIJKLM
on Oct. 7, 2012 at 2:56 AM